Do you sometimes ever think to yourself that stanning your faves is just a waste of time?

  • Like there are better things to do than fawning over celebrities.


    I just realized I wasted 5 years of life literally doing nothing but staring at my screen looking at my fave's performances, reality shows, interviews, fancams etc. I thought whatever I was doing was completely okay as long as I didn't act like other crazy fangirls, who stare at their fave's pics for hours, read fanfictions, shipping etc. But I was wrong! Watching the same performance for 100 times is also equally unhealthy.


    If only I had spend the time I did on my faves towards myself instead, I might've contributed a bit to the society. Probably could've brought a huge honour to my family as well. This didn't strike me until my 4th year of stanning my faves. But despite the realization, I'm still unable to get over them. This pandemic isn't helping my situation either. I spent my complete late teens towards some celebrity and I don't want to spent my twenties like that as well.


    Basically I need help before I go down the rabbit hole again!


    Don't give me "If only you stanned my faves, you wouldn't feel this way" kinda replies. I remember giving such replies when I was a 15 year old newbie ARMY.

    𝐁𝐓𝐒 ♡ 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 ♡ 𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐚

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  • Go to Best Answer
  • I mean, if you get to balance your fangirl life and your actual life then it's okay. If you spend hours watching your faves content but also spend hours studying/working then I see nothing wrong. You're doing something that makes you happy after all. Now if you're glued to your phone without actually doing anything in life like not working, not studying, not going out with friends, your whole life revolving around your kpop idol then yeah, there's a problem

  • I mean, if you get to balance your fangirl life and your actual life then it's okay. If you spend hours watching your faves content but also spend hours studying/working then I see nothing wrong. You're doing something that makes you happy after all. Now if you're glued to your phone without actually doing anything in life like not working, not studying, not going out with friends, your whole life revolving around your kpop idol then yeah, there's a problem

    But what if I could spend those hours I do watching my fave's content on something more productive instead? Being productive would also make me happy in the long run, even though it's hard to start.

    𝐁𝐓𝐒 ♡ 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 ♡ 𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐚

    c09dafd21a568e816f2cb77504fa56a8086e9412.gifv

  • That’s how i don’t know how some of you are watching Kingdom. I don’t know what is fun or interesting about seeing songs reperformed by a different group.


    But yeah, some of you are obsessed but won’t admit it.

  • That’s how i don’t know how some of you are watching Kingdom. I don’t know what is fun or interesting about seeing songs reperformed by a different group.


    But yeah, some of you are obsessed but won’t admit it.

    if it was carbon copy, it is no fun at all

    but the groups change the arrangement of the song, create new story & concept, add their own color to the song while performing, i want to enjoy the artistry behind it, and i love to see amazing performance with live vocals

  • u can use it effectively tho

    for examp learning korean, studying the artistry behind ur faves music, music video etc

    I don't think learning Korean would be any use for me, as I don't plan on living there. Maybe if I get a job offer at Samsung, then it might be useful.

    𝐁𝐓𝐒 ♡ 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 ♡ 𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐚

    c09dafd21a568e816f2cb77504fa56a8086e9412.gifv

  • Yes, after being a fan of SuJu for nearly ten years, I don’t really care for them too much anymore plus I’m too old for that fan girl stuff. I thought it time to grow up and find healthier interests.

  • It kinda is a waste of time if you don’t balance the rest of your (social, academic, romantic) life with your interest in kpop.


    If I’m being honest, I think it’s really sad when I see single kpop fans obsess over their fave and use them as a replacement for a real SO. You’d think this only applies to tween and teen kpop stans but I’ve seen it happen with people in their twenties and older.


    tl;dr if you’re one of those people who live through their fave, stop ASAP and go live your own life

    • Official Post

    But what if I could spend those hours I do watching my fave's content on something more productive instead? Being productive would also make me happy in the long run, even though it's hard to start.

    Then stop watching it and go be productive. Like if you think it could make you happy then just go try it.


    It's really not that hard.

  • Not really since covid started up, it’s a great way to kill time outside of work and my hobbies


    When restrictions clear up and it’s more safe I’ll probably go back to my normal lifestyle meaning very little kpop content


    People need to learn how to balance things out, and learn when it starts becoming in an unhealthy obsession.

    I thought I was completely over my faves when I joined university. But then the pandemic happened. I might get over them once everything settles down.

    𝐁𝐓𝐒 ♡ 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 ♡ 𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐚

    c09dafd21a568e816f2cb77504fa56a8086e9412.gifv

  • If it doesn't bring you comfort, joy, hope, if it isn't teaching you something or you feel like it's limiting you, definitely let it go

    The only way to do that is to replace it with something else that is equally engaging

    Otherwise you will keep coming back to it

    Maybe have a think about what it is that you do you to spend that time on?

    Explore your options



    It serves other people but it doesn't serve you, that's all, and that's okay

    There is a reason why you neglected friends, work, or whatever other aspects of your life in order to focus on your favs

    I don't know what it could be as I don't know you but it's another area worth exploring

    Everyone's journey is different so be kind

  • They provide good escape, relaxation and entertainment to me. My real life is very hectic and tiring. They are like small pleasures/hobby which provide you with positivity when you are in my position. Some good music and much needed laugh.

  • It kinda is a waste of time if you don’t balance the rest of your (social, academic, romantic) life with your interest in kpop.


    If I’m being honest, I think it’s really sad when I see single kpop fans obsess over their fave and use them as a replacement for a real SO. You’d think this only applies to tween and teen kpop stans but I’ve seen it happen with people in their twenties and older.


    tl;dr if you’re one of those people who live through their fave, stop ASAP and go live your own life

    I don't really see my faves as my SO or anything. If I did get that obsessed, I would've stopped consuming their content completely. The thing is I don't live through my faves, but I still watch their content obsessively on repeat. I feel like I'm doing it out of habit rather than being emotionally invested in my faves.

    𝐁𝐓𝐒 ♡ 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 ♡ 𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐚

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  • That’s why it’s important to remember that kpop is supposed to be fun and as a mean to relax from life’s stress. Don’t take anything too seriously and you’ll be fine. If you engage in fan wars, remember not to take it personally. Don’t feel like you have to follow your faves every contents. And if you don’t feel joy, just stop and find another hobby.

  • But what if I could spend those hours I do watching my fave's content on something more productive instead? Being productive would also make me happy in the long run, even though it's hard to start.

    That's true too. It really depends on what you're doing in the time you're not watching kpop. Are you just chilling at home, watching tv, playing video games or you're going out with friends, studying for your test, working for a raise, spending time with family members and etc. If it's the latter then I wouldn't consider it a problem that you're spending hours on kpop because you're also spending hours on doing many other things too

  • That’s why it’s important to remember that kpop is supposed to be fun and as a mean to relax from life’s stress. Don’t take anything too seriously and you’ll be fine. If you engage in fan wars, remember not to take it personally. Don’t feel like you have to follow your faves every contents. And if you don’t feel joy, just stop and find another hobby.

    I mean of course I do get joy from my fave's content, but I feel like I'm obsessed. Waiting every Thursday for a new Run BTS episode, once in a week Bangtan Bombs ... basically my faves being way too active and me not wanting to miss out on anything is my huge problem.

    𝐁𝐓𝐒 ♡ 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 ♡ 𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐚

    c09dafd21a568e816f2cb77504fa56a8086e9412.gifv

  • sometimes i sit and think whats the point of stanning my faves and buying albums and merch if i probably wont be into this in 10 years, im gonna waste hundreds of dollars on some random good looking talented asians who dont even know i exist


    i then snap out of it :clown: but really covid ruined my normal life and made me way too obsessed with kpop ive started to try and tone it down

  • I have too many other interests in life so KPop and celebrities are just one small part of it. I love the nice weather. I love being outside. I can’t stand sitting at a computer more than a couple of hours when the weather is fantastic. There is so much more to life than just k pop. Pre-Pademic I would travel to the Toronto film festival with a group of eight friends. I love bike riding. I love fashion, I have a dog I love to walk, I am trying virtual cooking lessons because I suck. I took up guitar during the pademic. Life is too short to waste. Go out and live

  • I have too many other interests in life so KPop and celebrities are just one small part of it. I love the nice weather. I love being outside. I can’t stand sitting at a computer more than a couple of hours when the weather is fantastic. There is so much more to life than just k pop. Pre-Pademic I would travel to the Toronto film festival with a group of eight friends. I love bike riding. I love fashion, I have a dog I love to walk, I am trying virtual cooking lessons because I suck. I took up guitar during the pademic. Life is too short to waste. Go out and live

    I can't even step outside my house now. There are way too many covid cases in my area. :-(

    If I'm not on my phone or computer, then I'm just eating or sleeping. Sad life but the pandemic has changed my daily routine for the worse.

    𝐁𝐓𝐒 ♡ 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 ♡ 𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐚

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  • I kinda understand you. I always try to not be completely swept by it. I am better this days, i don't have a vlive anymore i unsubscribed their youtube channel and i don't feel the need to see everything they put out there. I think i had a burn out at some point, i was desperate to see more and more lol, it was the fact that i needed to catch up with their past cause i found them in 2019 but i realised that at some point it was tiresome and i didn't wanted to totally lose the fun. I still wait to see run bts but it's my tuesday dose of fun. When I'm down i go and watch some fun compilations on youtube. I even questioned myself if i am still a fan. I am just a more relaxed one lol.

  • Life is simple. People make it complicated.

    I have been busy for 12-16 hrs a day since 2016 doing things I do for living. Hence I have always cherished the free time I have got and used it to do things I love and enjoy.

    The main point is I know what I love and enjoy. That's why I don't feel like I am wasting my time while doing those things. Seems like you don't.

    So I guess you should reflect on yourself.

  • I mean of course I do get joy from my fave's content, but I feel like I'm obsessed. Waiting every Thursday for a new Run BTS episode, once in a week Bangtan Bombs ... basically my faves being way too active and me not wanting to miss out on anything is my huge problem.

    If your problem is FOMO, try planning other things to do with your friends so you have something else to look forward to, maybe even on Thursdays

    That way you won't feel like you are waiting around for them to release something

  • If your problem is FOMO, try planning other things to do with your friends so you have something else to look forward to, maybe even on Thursdays

    That way you won't feel like you are waiting around for them to release something

    thanks for the advice! I'll try it

    𝐁𝐓𝐒 ♡ 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 ♡ 𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐚

    c09dafd21a568e816f2cb77504fa56a8086e9412.gifv

  • most things we enjoy are waste of times really; watching movies/series, reading, playing video games... there's nothing wrong with doing what you want with your free time. if you feel like the obsessions is starting to change you mentally or that it's making it hard to act responsibly in your everyday life, you will have to find something else to fill your time with. not very helpful, but you're the only one who can change anything. this is also a really tough year you can be a bit more lenient on yourself about feeling non productive... i don't think a lot of us have been.

  • thanks for the advice! I'll try it

    I noticed you wrote something about bringing your family honour in your op

    I understand that feeling but I just want to say you don't have to do some big thing in life in order to validate it, or validate your parents

    Find your own happiness, whatever form that takes, your family should love and accept you regardless of what "prestige" you can earn for them

  • I sometimes think the same about video games I have played last 15 years. If I would use all that time and effort for something more creative, I would probably earn millions. I can say I am probably better than 99% people in mmo games, but I do absolutely nothing with that ability right now.

    • Best Answer

    I just want to say that you are not alone. But I also want to give my respect for realizing and acknowledging your position right now in life. It is not easy whatsoever to really grasp & reflect on situations like these, but the fact that you want to take a step to live your life to the fullest shows that you already have the idea.


    Everyone lives their life differently, that being said, we all move and find ourselves in different spots than others. But we shouldn't feel in any way ashamed of that. Life is about learning, growing, and reflecting, all of which come through different experiences. And instead of valuing yourself based on how you want others to perceive you, love, and accept yourself for who you are. Both the good & the bad :borahae:


    Most importantly learn that instead of viewing experiences full of regret, use it to your advantage and learn from it :thumbup:


    Lastly, I want to say that even with you thinking that you have made no impact on society, know that you left an impact on me & many others <3


    work in progress

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