Advice is SEVERELY NEEDED: I like two guys and they both have girlfriends

  • Hi guys, I'm in a predicament that I NEVER thought id be in and I'm totally clueless on what to do. My friends give shit advice so I hope this helps




    My Handsome Kings!

    Edited 3 times, last by suprememadisyn ().

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  • suprememadisyn

    Changed the title of the thread from “Advice is SEVERELY NEEDED” to “Advice is SEVERELY NEEDED: I like two guys and they both have girlfriends”.
  • he had 4 months to ask you out. move on. if they do break up, don't be a rebound. when you find the right one, you'll understand why this guy wasn't the right one for you.

    true, but his even now girlfriend told me she made the move on him. I asked him in the car if she didn't ask him out on a date would he have said anything. He told me maybe if overtime he liked her vibe. I knew him first but she acted first so I respect her and their relationship.


    Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it. it




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  • It's not worth it. I've been cheated on multiple times. Don't be that person. There will be plenty of other guys.

    Period girl. I thought it was obvious I meant maybe waiting but not waiting like dating others but when they are available, give them their time and go for it. It's sad that so many girls homewreck to the point that's what a lot of people's initial thought was reading this. I would never! I had the opportunity to be with a guy I liked for years and then he randomly got married. I still said no. if I can say no to my childhood crush then I can say no to any guy that isn't available.


    I'm so sorry this happened to you and I promise that won't be me. I'll give an update 2 to 3 months from now and knowing myself, admitting I home wrecked won't be a part of that update. I always think about the effects of my actions on others in general. I would never want to put another woman through that especially ones that been nothing but kind to me.




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  • i think it would be better for OP just to leave it where it is and move on.

    that might be true but if that was all it was then I'm sure the OP's friend would've already said that no?

    I mean everyone's giving her the they have GFs move on line but wouldn't that be the most obvious answer and yet she still asks it here so I'm giving her a slightly different opinion

    (not that I would ask her to cheat but merely to have an answer to her question)

    it might give her either hope or closure depending on the answers

    • Best Answer

    definitely just try to move on. i know it's easier said than done but you really don't want to be the girl that steals the boyfriends. the reason i say this is because i was that girl once and i deeply regret it. the girl's name is Daisy and i'm actually getting a tattoo of a daisy pretty soon as a reminder of the whole incident. i think as humans, we forget how easily we can tear another person's life apart, and that's dangerous. whether you believe in karma or not, everything that you do DOES come back to you, and it feels fucking earth shattering when it does.


    my dms are always open if you need anything.



    i think you'd like these, they're relatable.


    Olivia O'Brien- Almost In Love

    Olivia O'Brien- Was It All In My Head?

    Madison Beer- Stay Numb and Carry On

    Taylor Swift- Girl At Home

    Carly Rae Jepsen- Party For One

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    You have doubts while talking about it and I can see that you are not the kind of person who would be able to not care at all. You might be feeling hot headed right now and the time you spend with them might be exciting but I doubt it would end well for you even if you end up having an affair and you would end up feeling like trash once the feeling of being drunk on those guys passes (and it will pass)

  • They both have a girlfriend. They'd probably initiate much more if they wanted something more, given the amount of time that has gone by since the start of all this.

    Wait, can you elaborate on this one? Are you saying that if they wanted something more there would be more to tell? At the end of the day they do have girlfriends. I personally wouldn't want my boyfriend telling a girl who is seeking to go out with him "you're pretty". if its a friend that's fine but idk about a girl who's interested in him. I wouldn't have read too much into it since saying a girl is pretty is empty until he basically said when he's single like sir, he should have said you don't be single any time soon.


    Technically, with kent this only started 3 weeks ago since every time I walked in to his job, he would walk in the back so he hasn't seen me till now but I feel like with Carter, you're right. We've known each other for 4 months now. Thank you for sharing your perspective!


    The fact that you like TWO guys at once indicates that you shouldn't be looking for a relationship right now.


    If they cheat on their girlfriends, they're not the type of guys you want to be with anyway.

    I'm not really looking for a relationship. I've never sought one out. I just know I don't want to be their friends. If you know what I mean. Not friends with benefits btw I mean casual/steady/see how it goes. I'm usually the type if I like you, I don't like anyone else but me getting closer to Carter every day is making my 5-minute convos with Kent not as alluring as it was before. Now that I know about his girlfriend, I don't want them to be longer.


    Period! If they would do it to them, they would do it to me. The only difference would be I would actually deserve it. Karma is a bitch.




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  • @OP


    maybe you should drop the


    "if you weren't going out with x, would you go out with me line" to get your answer to your question

    Mhmm here's the thing. I like this one a lot and this would totally help but I know damn well I would not like it if another woman said some shit like this to my man but then again, this would help me figure out if I should wait and date or not or just get completely over them. So, ill consider it depending on the conversation at hand.




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  • don’t make a move on someone else’s guy, just leave them alone


    you’ll find your person eventually, don’t force it alright? especially since it might just be an rush of attraction right now, but might fade later.


    Go for a guy who won’t treat you as a second choice, don’t be the rebound chick...

    EN-: jungwon | heeseung | jay | jake | sunghoon | sunoo | ni-ki


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  • Girl, I am far from that. Im just trying to know should I wait but not wait? I really dont know what to do but I know for fact that is far from what I want to do or be. My actions affect others and not just me. That would be incredibly selfish.

    You go girl but tbh If my sister brought home one of her friends I'd just see her as one of my sisters dumb friends lmao not calling you dumb though just she's my sisters friend so.. This is hard to explain lmao like my sisters friend is my friend but not really lmao too bad it's not like that scene from Ginny & Georgia haha

  • Girl, I am far from that. Im just trying to know should I wait but not wait? I really dont know what to do but I know for fact that is far from what I want to do or be. My actions affect others and not just me. That would be incredibly selfish.


    please. and i cannot emphasize this enough. PLEASE don't wait on someone, especially when they're dating someone else. i know i'm a random ass stranger on the internet but from the bottom of my heart, i really mean this- just move on. easier said than done but you cannot waste your life away on what if's. no matter how another convo goes etc.

    if it's meant to happen it will happen it will happen. do not force it, because if you do, karma will force someone out of your life too.



    you have so much life left. please do not waste it away.

  • Mhmm here's the thing. I like this one a lot and this would totally help but I know damn well I would not like it if another woman said some shit like this to my man but then again, this would help me figure out if I should wait and date or not or just get completely over them. So, ill consider it depending on the conversation at hand.

    and with all due respect my friend since you already knew that prior to coming here i assume thus you wanted a different perspective so I suggested my suggestion...


    nothing is me saying go cheat but merely go get your answer to your question...that way it gives you some element of knowledge and closure (maybe lol)


    now of course no person would want another person to hit on their gf/bf but in life that might not be possible one has to rely on the honesty and integrity of one's chosen partner to defuse that situation

  • that might be true but if that was all it was then I'm sure the OP's friend would've already said that no?

    I mean everyone's giving her the they have GFs move on line but wouldn't that be the most obvious answer and yet she still asks it here so I'm giving her a slightly different opinion

    (not that I would ask her to cheat but merely to have an answer to her question)

    it might give her either hope or closure depending on the answers

    Well, my sister said homewreck kents (as a joke) and my friends are just as clueless as me. They haven't said move on since I don't really like guys so they know its serious when I'm like this and saying unhelpful obvious advice like that does nothing. Since I can't control my heart. My brain is telling me to move the fuck on but I still can't. It's not that easy. So, thank you for noticing this occurrence and trying to give an alternative.


    yes, that's exactly what I want. My intentions arent to homewreck and I wrote that in previous statements yet I still keep getting that answer. I don't need to be told to not do something that I wouldn't do. I just want a semblance of hope or blatant rejection that it will never happen single or not but both dudes are acting as if they were single id have a chance so I'm still crushing.




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  • and with all due respect my friend since you already knew that prior to coming here i assume thus you wanted a different perspective so I suggested my suggestion...


    nothing is me saying go cheat but merely go get your answer to your question...that way it gives you some element of knowledge and closure (maybe lol)


    now of course no person would want another person to hit on their gf/bf but in life that might not be possible one has to rely on the honesty and integrity of one's chosen partner to defuse that situation

    Well, I wanted to hear all perspectives no matter the answer and the suggestion was great! I appreciate it.


    I know what you mean. it's not ideal but it would certainly give me the answer that I'm looking for. I wish this was so much easier. Them having girlfriends seriously wasn't what I wanted. it happened though and now I'm just stuck with these feelings I'm not supposed to feel.


    its crazy because I dropped a mirror and carter said that gives me bad luck. The bad luck just settled in. like what are the odds but of the guys, I'm into have girlfriends? like one okay but two?




    My Handsome Kings!

  • Well, I wanted to hear all perspectives no matter the answer and the suggestion was great! I appreciate it.


    I know what you mean. it's not ideal but it would certainly give me the answer that I'm looking for. I wish this was so much easier. Them having girlfriends seriously wasn't what I wanted. it happened though and now I'm just stuck with these feelings I'm not supposed to feel.


    its crazy because I dropped a mirror and carter said that gives me bad luck. The bad luck just settled in. like what are the odds but of the guys, I'm into have girlfriends? like one okay but two?

    life is unfair my friend have you heard this story that I've told here before:


    There was this girl who dreamed of finding the one - Mr Perfect if you will and set forth beaming with hope. She crossed a bridge and an old man fishing asked what she was doing and she replied that she was going forth to the world to find Mr Perfect.


    A few years later this girl comes back across the bridge with sadness and dejection in her eyes and the old man fishing remembers her and asks hey did you find Mr Perfect and she replied yes I found him. The old man asks "and?" the girl replies "I found him but he was looking for Miss Perfect"

    :-(

  • Yesss, this is facts. I believe in karma 100%. It's not even just karma is just having a conscience and being able to consider other people's feelings other than my own. I feel like say that I did home wreck, he wouldn't have respect for me (probably would cheat which would be well deserved) and id certainly lose my self-respect, I'd always reflect and regret it, and the girl could end up doing anything whether it's harming others or herself, falling into depression, e.t.c. To know id be responsible for all that damage and destruction...no man is worth going through all that for or hurting fellow women. My own happiness or my idea of what it would be wouldn't be worth all that either if someone else is ending up hurt.


    Thank you for offering and ill definitely have to shoot you a message. I'm seeing both this week </3


    I will give them a listen but girl you can't recommend me no Taylor, I don't think there's a song I don't know or relate to. She got a song for every emotion a girl can feel about a guy. Love her for that.


    Btw the tattoo idea is really great and as long as you at least feel bad about it that shows that you are deserving of forgiveness in my eyes (even though I have nothing to forgive). Some girls seriously don't care for the destruction they caused since at least they got their way.




    My Handsome Kings!

  • don’t make a move on someone else’s guy, just leave them alone


    you’ll find your person eventually, don’t force it alright? especially since it might just be an rush of attraction right now, but might fade later.


    Go for a guy who won’t treat you as a second choice, don’t be the rebound chick...

    oof, its the second sentence for me. That hit. Could definitely be a lust thing that I get over. I feel like Carter will if anything. I feel that will fade but Kent has me feeling a way that only certain guys could make me feel but you're right... I wouldn't want to force it or be the rebound. Thank you!




    My Handsome Kings!

  • You go girl but tbh If my sister brought home one of her friends I'd just see her as one of my sisters dumb friends lmao not calling you dumb though just she's my sisters friend so.. This is hard to explain lmao like my sisters friend is my friend but not really lmao too bad it's not like that scene from Ginny & Georgia haha

    LMAOOOOO not Ginny and Georgia

    I don't want any of those cringy scenes to happen to me. Manz climbed through the window and then she gave him her virginity like miss girl- what?


    I was friends with the girl first but were more work friends. Her brother and I are actual friends.


    I know exactly what you mean I'm not offended its the same with my sister's friends as well but I feel like its different since we didn't meet through her. We met through work. She just happened to be his sister but her there or not we'd still be at the place we are now.

  • oof, its the second sentence for me. That hit. Could definitely be a lust thing that I get over. I feel like Carter will if anything. I feel that will fade but Kent has me feeling a way that only certain guys could make me feel but you're right... I wouldn't want to force it or be the rebound. Thank you!

    i hope this helped! Try to choose something you won’t regret, okie? Stay happy hun~

    EN-: jungwon | heeseung | jay | jake | sunghoon | sunoo | ni-ki


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  • Uhm just keep your hands to yourself. As long as they're still in a relationship it isn't your business to change that

    Be a decent human being

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    You have doubts while talking about it and I can see that you are not the kind of person who would be able to not care at all. You might be feeling hot headed right now and the time you spend with them might be exciting but I doubt it would end well for you even if you end up having an affair and you would end up feeling like trash once the feeling of being drunk on those guys passes (and it will pass)

    Thank you! I seriously am not that kind of person. id rather get hurt than let any of these girls be affected by my actions. I'm not even wishing anything bad on either relationship. I wish them the best but if one of them becomes single I will give them time and hopefully that will be my chance which would be fair and square and guilt-free! You save much more trouble and have a mess-free life by letting time tell. If I really like them then ill want the best for them and let them be happy with their other instead of coming between that. Am I going to wait? Not exactly but just a little. Like Ill date others but ill still have hope me and Kent could become a thing.


    honestly, Carter will pass I can feel it unless our interactions become greater. My interactions are what make me like him more. Thanks again.




    My Handsome Kings!

  • I just seen the thread right now. My question is: does changing the font mean anything? You did this same thing while telling the story in your Mr. Perect thread. It cant be a coincidence.




    My Handsome Kings!

  • I just seen the thread right now. My question is: does changing the font mean anything? You did this same thing while telling the story in your Mr. Perect thread. It cant be a coincidence.

    i've copied and pasted this from my intro thread

    that's where i posted the story initially...

    i think i wrote it in word or notepad before copying it to akp hence the colour change lol

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