TW abuse, miscarriage, violence || [Discussion] Trauma dumping on idols - the ATEEZ Wooyoung situation

what an actual fuck????????

girl stop spending money on fan signs and get yourself to therapy

I was on the receiving on trauma dumping in a friendship and it took me a while to recover and actually end it.

I cant believe someone would do this another person they dont know

These fancalls are fucking weird, every day I see some entitled ass fan using their faves for lecture or info dump

Weirdos, companies are wrong for this too but hey money moves the world right

Quote from catzi

These fancalls are fucking weird, every day I see some entitled ass fan using their faves for lecture or info dump

Weirdos, companies are wrong for this too but hey money moves the world right

yeah my opinion of fan signs is really hitting the pit of hell this week

I pity for her and I know people who went through something horrible often share their stories with other people to vent their inner thoughts, I don't know what I'm saying here but I don't want to criticize that girl over it. Hope Wooyoung is okay as well.

Trauma dumping is so common on Twitter.

Someone will be talking about something and it won’t even be some bashing or negative tweet or anything and this other person will be like “did you know my mom died and that’s why I love this song”

Like 😭😭😭

Ok?

Wow this is taking it too far. You can always thank them for their music helping you get through some dark moments in your life but this is not the way to go about it. Horrible

Quote from Pearl-Iris

I pity for her and I know people who went through something horrible often share their stories with other people to vent their inner thoughts, I don't know what I'm saying here but I don't want to criticize that girl over it. Hope Wooyoung is okay as well.

TBH this is not a grey situation at all. Sharing with other people who give you consent to sharing or even anonymous forums dedicated to such things is very much different than walking up to a random person and telling them stuff like this.

This 100% without a doubt is wrong and not something anyone should encourage. Your trauma doesn’t give you the right to trauma dump which could potentially be triggering for someone else without their consent. It’s violation of consent.

Quote from Pinky_Peachy

I totally know how you feel. That's why this makes me so upset for Woo. She needs professional help and I really want that for her, but this was so not okay to do.

Every day a new mess, from girls showing up in lingerie to people harassing idols to do things they're not comfortable with to things like this.

it took me counseling to realize trauma dumping is a form of abuse too and I should feel bad for walking away from people's venting when it negatively affects my own mental health

It all started with fans supposedly "educating" idols and now everyone thinks they can do whatever they want at fansigns

really got to admire idols for this

i mean saying that ateez music has comforted them at their lowest, im sure wooyoung would have loved and appreciated it but this???not it....he's not a trained counsellor and he has feelings too

Quote from ripia

I've been through that a lot. And at times if you aren't the savior they hope will turn around and blame you.

It's better I learn to distance from these kinda people.

frfr unfortunately i had to learn it the hard way, where it ended up as if i was the problem

Quote from Pinky_Peachy

I totally know how you feel. That's why this makes me so upset for Woo. She needs professional help and I really want that for her, but this was so not okay to do.

Every day a new mess, from girls showing up in lingerie to people harassing idols to do things they're not comfortable with to things like this.

Wut? Are you referring to the Jisung fancall incident? I thought the girl cleared it up saying she wore it underneath her clothes like a regular person.

Quote from Pinky_Peachy

We all pity for her but there's a really good link in my OP about trauma dumping and I suggest you read it. Also, the mental health professional's tweets say it all. Random people are not anyone's free therapists. Imagine how it is to be a celebrity. I'm sure she's not the only person who did this to him. They have to deal with a lot of shit already.

Quote from ISaidISaid

TBH this is not a grey situation at all. Sharing with other people who give you consent to sharing or even anonymous forums dedicated to such things is very much different than walking up to a random person and telling them stuff like this.

This 100% without a doubt is wrong and not something anyone should encourage. Your trauma doesn’t give you the right to trauma dump which could potentially be triggering for someone else without their consent. It’s violation of consent.

Probably bcoz one of my aunt often told us her sister's traumatic story while crying that I thought its something norm. I know it must be traumatic for Wooyoung to know all this so I feel bad for him as well.

Quote from Pinky_Peachy

A simple, "You guys helped me through some really dark times," would have been enough.

This, basically.

Idols arent ur friends or therapists and this is such a triggering topic..don't do this to anyone who has not consented/agreed to hear you out.

I hope this person finds healing tho, i cant imagine how traumatising that experience must have been for her..

people taking fancalls for fking granted pisses me off

time and place for everything

but at the end of the day, i hope wooyoung isnt too affected and the fan gets treatment and closure to her past

Quote from Lulu_Key

yeah my opinion of fan signs is really hitting the pit of hell this week

Wouldnt be surprised if a sensationalist youtuber end up making a video about these fancalls and it goes viral just to make kpop stans rep worse than it already is

Parasocial relationships gone to the next level.

I don't even want to imagine what kind of weirdos the staff had to filter during off-line fan signs seeing this.

Quote from ISaidISaid

Twitter.

I can't stand Twitter. All the accounts I've had barely lasted a month. Idk why but that site brings not only toxicity to me but also makes me my most toxic self.

Quote from Pinky_Peachy

No, I know what you mean and how you feel but I hope you understand that those situations harmed you and it's not okay you had to go through that

Yes, stories like this did take a toll on mental health

She's probably American. I mean highly likely.

Quote from Pinky_Peachy

I thought this was a great example. I'm part of a book club, and one month, the book description SAID it was about an alternate universe where it turns out women are genetically superheroes (basically).

It was technically about that, but also, I describe it as "the book with all the rape."* I don't think there was a single chapter that went by without someone either describing a past assault or actively being assaulted in the present. I told the person who put it up as their gushing recommendation for the month that, next time, they needed to warn people just how much assault was going to be present in the book. I was not emotionally prepared for reading violent grimdark based on an "alternate universe with superheroes, whee!" description.

Like, you can be prepared for those things if you know that's what you're going in for, but a bait-and-switch or a sudden dumping just sucks. Which is also why I lol at people who think it's ridiculous that the American not-a-real-question greeting of "hey, what's up?" is not a sincere invitation for you to expressly outline how terrible your life is. No one wants that when they're just passing by you in the hall or whatever.

Quote from centen

I thought this was a great example. I'm part of a book club, and one month, the book description SAID it was about an alternate universe where it turns out women are genetically superheroes (basically).

It was technically about that, but also, I describe it as "the book with all the rape."* I don't think there was a single chapter that went by without someone either describing a past assault or actively being assaulted in the present. I told the person who put it up as their gushing recommendation for the month that, next time, they needed to warn people just how much assault was going to be present in the book. I was not emotionally prepared for reading violent grimdark based on an "alternate universe with superheroes, whee!" description.

Like, you can be prepared for those things if you know that's what you're going in for, but a bait-and-switch or a sudden dumping just sucks. Which is also why I lol at people who think it's ridiculous that the American not-a-real-question greeting of "hey, what's up?" is not a sincere invitation for you to expressly outline how terrible your life is. No one wants that when they're just passing by you in the hall or whatever.

Tbh I thought it was actually not a great example at all. In fact we should absolutely not be comparing media/art content to this.

You are responsible for your triggers when it comes to you consenting to consuming media. If a movie is marked as R rated, it’s up to you to do due diligence to find out what the themes are. The reason this example is so dangerous is people expect art to respect everyone’s triggers when that’s actually not required at all and is counterproductive. (Art is often self expression for trauma of itself).

Video fancalls are going to start being moderated to hell, and when people ask why, well....

Celebrities get this all the time.

People will come up to them and basically trauma dump because they feel a connection to the celebrity. The celebrity on the other hand, all they can really do is smile and bear it or sympathize. Happy Wooyoung was able to keep a professional face and keep going, but not everyone would have been able to. Then you have a celebrity in an emotional state and they have to go on to the next person.

Wooyoung may have been touched, may have been uncomfortable, may have been annoyed. We really don't know, but it's always best to keep in my celebrities are people too.

Quote from ripia

I've been through that a lot. And at times if you aren't the savior they hope will turn around and blame you.

It's better I learn to distance from these kinda people.

It's a no win situation

That's messed up but I don't really hold it against her. She probably thought it would be ok to let them know how they helped her, and in theory it is, but this crossed the line IMO. Trauma like that is serious, I don't think any person can handle hearing that out of the blue. It's extremely heavy. I hope she's ok but to be honest I also hope Wooyoung is.

I also don't see the problem with this?! To be honest, I actually even think it's really cruel, toxic, and heartless to criticize this woman for this. Not like she sent any pictures or went into super gorey details. She even goes on saying how there's no one she can talk to about this, the letter is all about praising and thanking the idol for helping her. I honestly feel really horrified and close to crying seeing someone who had a hard time opening like that, who is working through their trauma, having their healing moment getting trashed on by Twitter. Has the world become this heartless?

Quote from ISaidISaid

Tbh I thought it was actually not a great example at all. In fact we should absolutely not be comparing media/art content to this.

You are responsible for your triggers when it comes to you consenting to consuming media. If a movie is marked as R rated, it’s up to you to do due diligence to find out what the themes are. The reason this example is so dangerous is people expect art to respect everyone’s triggers when that’s actually not required at all and is counterproductive. (Art is often self expression for trauma of itself).

Except that's not the example provided in the text or the one I added. There's a huge difference between "art should anticipate and buffer me from any potentially triggering content" and the examples provided where the marketing was deliberately misrepresenting what it's about.