Do you prefer to date/marry within your own ethnicity or not?

Yes generally. It's not a racial thing, it's just who I've ended up with.

yes it's less complicated

I don't have preferences, but I legit don't know many Indian people my age irl so like... idk that's not something that's easy for me to actively seek ig? The community here is super white.

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unfortunately she passed away and her parents inherited her houses

they even used her money to hire a lawyer for him

People like that srsly dont deserve to live for being that horrible to their own children

people like them can go to hell for my part

Yes for the ease of mind for the parents

No preference, there are more important things than that

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My parents believe I will eventually marry one of the SHINee guys (this is srsly not a joke)

I need to now

for their ease of mind

Yes good to know they are delulu as you

I don’t care about the ethnicity.

As long as the person is respectful and treats me well.

But it does make things easier if someone understands your culture and experience and very often it’s someone from your own ethnicity. Sometimes interracial couples struggle with that.

Being an African, Ghanian by roots to be more exact, I love my culture. Unfortunately many men in Ghana or from Ghana still have conservative views of a relationship, but there has been a big shift to more modern views recently and the guys raised here in Germany are pretty modern too. Not all of them, but enough to have options.

good luck for you all and I feel sorry if you're surrounded with bad people, have a good day

Quote from Lulu_Key

Idk why I always thought you are Caucasian for some reason

Less on the cauc

I have no preference and I’m in an interracial relationship. Someone’s race and ethnicity has never been a factor to me when trying to find a connection with someone so I’ve dated men outside of my race and ethnicity. Race/ethnicity and culture are connected though so we had to navigate that to try to find a common ground between us. So far, so good 😊

could not care less ngl. Even though im dating a korean guy atm, if i like you enough to date you, idk what you look like

Quote from Lulu_Key

The problem is some of the women in my culture also push for those sexist POVs, which is why they are very prominent.

The lady I mentioned in the op, she was a very successful financial advisor and had two houses. Her parents arranged her marriage. She requested prenup from her fiance and that offended him enough to stab her 30 times.

The most disgusting thing about this is her parents took his side and tried to be character witness for him bc they thought what she did was disrespectful.

Wth…how awful! Her own parents though?

Quote from Lulu_Key

idk the whole gun thing throw me off

for me when I imagine someone progun its like

I’m not that progun

Quote from Lulu_Key

so you dont look like this?

I don’t even have a gun or want one lol

Yes, because my culture is a big part of who i am and i will want to be with someone that understands that. But there are not many Nigerians that are dateable around me. I am fine with dating someone, not from Nigeria as long as they treat me right

The only thing that matters to me are the values people hold.

Quote from Lulu_Key

I undrestand wanting to have similar cultural experience since your experience has been positive.

For me sharing same cultural experience means they were raised to lord over women.

Another interesting point you mentioned is that Ghanian people raised in western countries have more liberal views.

Unfortunately for people in my culture it's the opposite. I feel like the ones raised back in my mother's country have grown and became more open and liberal. But the ones raised here in western countries became more conservative.

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It’s actually not a uncommon phenomenon. Tbh it’s something one of my Turkish friends told me as well.

I think there are several theories for that.

One being that conservative and patriarchal views are already deeply ingrained in the culture or religion making it part of their identity so it makes it harder to unlearn certain things without a reform which will take decades.

Second the desire to uphold shared values with your people in a foreign country especially being the minority. And i think that desire grows even stronger if you’re ethnicity as a whole being stigmatized in the country you live in. This results in them getting more protective of their ethnicity as a way to protect their identity. Unfortunately this also means holding unto views that many would deem backwards.

Doesn't matter, but I've always kind of imagined I'd marry within my own people.

i never really cared, although my family probably would have been happier if i had found a hispanic dude at literally any point lol

doesn't matter to me

I am mixed race so that has never been an issue for me. I am African American (on my mom's side) and Mexican American (on my dad's side). My girlfriend is White from Greece. We share things and help each other learn new things about our cultures. My girlfriend has lived in Greece her whole life so she has never tired Mexican food so I want to make some for her. Tbh I'm so bad a cooking we will probably just have to go to a restaurant

I haven't thought about it but there is nothing wrong if some people do

Quote from Lulu_Key

Do you prefer to date/marry withing your own ethnicity or not?

Alot of people prefer to date/marry within your own ethnicity

Dudes from my cultural background are born with centuries of misogyny and sexism embedded in their brain. It will take more than a life time to make them unlearn that. That life time being wasted is not gonna be mine.

+ knowing that women within my community have been murdered bc they did better than their SO career wise. I am not getting stabbed if my bigger paycheck emasculate some dudes.

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I just want someone that loves me, but I won't get it unfortuently. If I marry someone who is not from South India(specifically Kerala) and can't speak Malayalam, my parents will kill me.

Plus, I won't have much of a choice in my marriage since I am headed for an arranged marriage for sure now after the only couple who were in a love marriage that my parents supported, the husband cheated on the wife, they got divorced and my hopes went bye bye. Those two were my last hope, thanks a lot jerk husband!

Heck my parents even said that "we should not follow the American way for marriages" after the husband cheated on the wife.

Recently, my mom found out I was in health and I am guessing she got the syllabus(it included that one of the things we were going to learn about is dating relationships and well s*x). S

o obviously, my mom was like, don't follow the American way and don't listen to what they are saying!

Not only that, my parents have other bad experience with love marriages. My uncle(who my parents hate because of valid reasons unrelated to his marriage) was in a love marriage, and my parents(especially my mom) judged my uncle for it and called it disgraceful that my uncle and my aunt shared a house before they were married.

It's tradition where I come from in India to have an arranged marriage. The only people that get to have love marriages without getting judged that much by the public(especially the older generation) are celebrities and super rich people, which is why most people don't judge my uncle despite his love marriage.

Unfortuently, I don't have the privelge of being super rich or being a celeb, so if I get in a love marriage(even with someone from Kerala that speaks Malayalam) my relatives will gossip about me and well, my family's image would be tarnished.

My family needs atleast one person that follows the whole arranged marriage, my brother was born in the U.S. and is going to grow up with complete American values, so it's very likely he will get a love marriage. So the responsibilty falls on me.

Now moving on, I don't really know my "type" fully though. I know I like nice guys(or atleast ones that I think are nice). My last actual crush was the same ethnicity as me(Indian) and my celebrity/influencer crush rn is Half Indian and Half German. So yeah.

So yeah, my ethnicity type I haven't figured out, but I do know some things about the person I am gonna marry lol.

Ok, why did I go full on life story lol.