ABOUT BULLYING

What country are you from? bc I'm from the U.S. and bullying is pretty common

Quote from jinaland

So in my country bullying isn't a thing, i have never experienced bullying

just because you havent experienced bullying in the place you live doesnt mean it doesnt exist or happen there.

i believe bullying is everywhere in the world.

there is no excuse for bullying.

Quote from jinaland

So in my country bullying isn't a thing, i have never experienced bullying

i have seen it from kdramas & western films and i was like whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat :eek:

Here are some questions I am looking the answer for:

1. Why people bully?

I have actually heard that kids become bully cuz they haven't recieved enough love from their parents or have experienced physical violence from his/her parents. idk whether it's true or not

2. Why can't stand up for yourself right at time of being bullied?

3. Why think about bullying for a long time?

Most important question:

4. Why revenge ?

The best revenge is for me to actually just show that u re living happier & better than them :)

Don't let this flop please!

Display More

same, if someone bullies someone else like they do in America they'd be expelled immediately, shit like that is not tolerated so idk how people get away with it

1. Some are from fucked up families, others are venting on the wrong people, others want to be popular, others like the feeling of having power, other just go with the mob mentality, others are afraid to be the next target if they join in the bullying, others are pressured into bullying, etc.

2. Because many times they're stronger than you, older than you, they are more than one, etc.

3. I didn't get the question.

4. Everyone wants justice. You want criminals to be put in jail. Some want for their bullies to pay the consequences of their acts.

Quote from taesv6

just because you havent experienced bullying in the place you live doesnt mean it doesnt exist or happen there.

i believe bullying is everywhere in the world.

yeah true but it's definitely not a huge problem in some countries, like mine, the most i've seen is in a form of teasing but even that has a limit, there are harsh consequences in schools

about question 4, i wouldnt always say its 'revenge'. for alot of people its justice.

many have been traumatized from bullying and just want the justice they deserve.

Quote from jinaland

1. Why people bully?

there can be multiple reasons. mostly mental. some people feel insecure and bully others to makes themselves feel better, some people bully people cause they dont like the person, some people are just naturally mean and bully others for fun

2. Why can't stand up for yourself right at time of being bullied?

they physically abuse you, verbally abuse you, and mentally abuse you. if you were in that situation you´d be terrified to stand up for yourself cause they´d just make it worse for you

3. Why think about bullying for a long time?

im not sure i understand this question? do you mean like why bullies decide to do it for so long? i dont think its something bullies just decide on doing some people dont even realize they are bullying others. a lot tho do decide to be mean, take the victim´s belongings, lie about the victim, anything to put the victim down.

Most important question:

4. Why revenge ?

why not? if someone hurt you, im sure you´d want revenge. i remember i was in grade school and this girl was bullying me she didnt let me even look in her direction. turns out she was related to someone i was living with at the time. i told that person what she was doing and they told her off, she ran home crying. i watched her and felt bad but due to her i have really bad anxiety and cant look people in the eyes

Display More

Quote from jinaland

I am from Mongolia

In general are people there friendly?

Quote from omnimorphism

1. Some are from fucked up families, others are venting on the wrong people, others want to be popular, others like the feeling of having power, other just go with the mob mentality, others are afraid to be the next target if they join in the bullying, others are pressured into bullying, etc.

2. Because many times they're stronger then you, older than you, they are more than one, etc.

3. I didn't get the question.

4. Everyone wants justice. You want criminals to be put in jail. Some want for their bullies to pay the consequences of their acts.

Display More

and to go further in some countries bullying can be a crime

(its not just children bullying but bullying covers s lot of situations )

I will never believe that there is even a single country in this world where bullying isnt a thing, sorry. If you havebt seen it happen, it does not mean it doesnt exist

I havent experienced bullying in any form, but I would simply assume its an act of dominance most of the time for the most part. Why does domestic violence happen? Why do some parents beat their children? I think its mostly just a control thing. Where people think they are above you for that one moment and that makes them feel good. The same reason why apes in rhe zoo have a set hierarchy. Someone wants to be at the top and for that they must put someone at the bottom.

1. There’s no definite answer. Just about anyone can be a bully. You can also be a cyber bully and a internet bully.

2. Even if you tell them to stop they don’t listen. Bullies like to feed off your emotions. And most of the time the Teachers are useless. If you fight back you get in trouble, if you speak up the teacher will have both of you come to terms with each other like that would do anything or the teacher would speak to the bully which would make matters more worse. So there’s really no end scenario where the victim wins.

3. Scars and deep wounds. It’s hard for victims of bullying to come to terms with themselves and the bully. It’s hard for them to heal. My little cousin who is 10 years old was bullied at school for her weight and it really affected her mentally, her self esteem and she became more shy. Even though the ringleader transferred schools she still depressed.

4. Revenge is the only way some victims can heal. To see your bully feel what you felt. Sometimes there’s no other way.

Quote from omnimorphism

1. Some are from fucked up families, others are venting on the wrong people, others want to be popular, others like the feeling of having power, other just go with the mob mentality, others are afraid to be the next target if they join in the bullying, others are pressured into bullying, etc.

2. Because many times they're stronger than you, older than you, they are more than one, etc.

3. I didn't get the question.

4. Everyone wants justice. You want criminals to be put in jail. Some want for their bullies to pay the consequences of their acts.

Display More

Just to complement answer 2. Usually the institutional channels do nothing to help. The bully may get detention or a few days of suspension, and then go back into bullying. And then bully you even worse to make you pay for rattling them out. Minors are not subject to the same level of punishment as adults. If an adult hit you, you can put them in jail or make them pay you. It's a lot scarier than staying 3 days out of school.

bullying exists in all countries, in all schools and at all work places

Quote from taesv6

just because you havent experienced bullying in the place you live doesnt mean it doesnt exist or happen there.

i believe bullying is everywhere in the world.

I was lucky my school had a strict anti-bullying policy even before talking about bullying became mainstream. But I know some schools in my country have serious bullying problems.

Quote from jinaland

So in my country bullying isn't a thing, i have never experienced bullying

i have seen it from kdramas & western films and i was like whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat :eek:

Here are some questions I am looking the answer for:

1. Why people bully?

I have actually heard that kids become bully cuz they haven't recieved enough love from their parents or have experienced physical violence from his/her parents. idk whether it's true or not

2. Why can't stand up for yourself right at time of being bullied?

3. Why think about bullying for a long time?

Most important question:

4. Why revenge ?

The best revenge is for me to actually just show that u re living happier & better than them :)

Don't let this flop please!

Display More

Hi

1. I was bullied because I threaten a ex best friend because she cut me off and her girlfriends harassed me for 2 months.

2. I did but looking back at it, I should've stay quiet and tell the teacher and school (I did after it happen 2-3 times)

3. You're prob not a bullying victim, as I watch others talk about their story, it seems like it scars them for life, rip me lmao.

4. I need a apology

EDIT: I do believe that bullying is very uncommon wherever I live.

1. Why people bully?

Boredom, mob mentality, lack of empathy, problems with family at home etc depends on the person, there's many reasons, none justifiable

2. Why can't stand up for yourself right at time of being bullied?

Because not everyone can do that. And in a lot of cases, the bullied one is overpowered by more than one person.

3. Why think about bullying for a long time?

Because it's a traumatic experience, and like any traumatic experience it most likely will affect their mentality for worse, giving them problems like anxiety, ptsd, depression, lack of confidence, self esteem, etc, and all of these will have a long term negative impact in the bullied person's life.

Most important question:

4. Why revenge ?

Some people think they can only move on after inflicting the same amount of pain they received before. They want to discount their misfortune on the person who caused it.

Quote from jinaland

So in my country bullying isn't a thing, i have never experienced bullying

i have seen it from kdramas & western films and i was like whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat :eek:

Here are some questions I am looking the answer for:

1. Why people bully?

I have actually heard that kids become bully cuz they haven't recieved enough love from their parents or have experienced physical violence from his/her parents. idk whether it's true or not

2. Why can't stand up for yourself right at time of being bullied?

3. Why think about bullying for a long time?

Most important question:

4. Why revenge ?

The best revenge is for me to actually just show that u re living happier & better than them :)

Don't let this flop please!

Display More

this reddit post gives context for why bullying is taken so seriously in korea

https://reddit.com/r/kpopthoug…o_see_people_downplaying/

1. Why people bully?

personal issues(bad home life, self esteem, etc); psychological issues (mental illness), they want power, etc.

2. Why can't stand up for yourself right at time of being bullied?

-they are afraid no one will believe them

-something is being held over them(threats...)

-they are just not ready to tell someone

-havn't unraveled the trauma themselves

3. Why think about bullying for a long time?

-some of the answers in 1 such as bad home life and mental illness can be for long periods of time

Most important question:

4. Why revenge ?

It's not revenge, but a form of seeking justice. Depending on the person, the response can vary. Some people may not care at all and have already sorted out their feelings. Some other people may still carry the after effects of what they went through and want some sort of compensation. Whether that's just an apology, to talk to the person 1 on 1 or something else.

Quote from jinaland

It's about the attitude & purpose of the victim

If the victim really wants justice he/she will go by the right way to do it

if the victim wants revenge he/she will go by the wrong way

let's take Soojin's case for example

the victims could have contacted Soojin in the first place & asked whether she has realized her mistake

if she has realized it and apologized everything can end peacefully - it's justice

but they have spread this rumour over internet shows they have very negativity against her and want her career & life to be destroyed - it's revenge

Display More

agreed, i just wanted to mention its not always for revenge.

Quote from jinaland

So in my country bullying isn't a thing, i have never experienced bullying

i have seen it from kdramas & western films and i was like whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat :eek:

Here are some questions I am looking the answer for:

1. Why people bully?

I have actually heard that kids become bully cuz they haven't recieved enough love from their parents or have experienced physical violence from his/her parents. idk whether it's true or not

2. Why can't stand up for yourself right at time of being bullied?

3. Why think about bullying for a long time?

Most important question:

4. Why revenge ?

The best revenge is for me to actually just show that u re living happier & better than them :)

Don't let this flop please!

Display More

I guess the basic places that it will brew are toxic environments involving competition and lack of support to talk about this type of problems. In East Asia in particular there are lot of places that will brew this type of environment due to hierarchy and filial duty mixed with modern competitiveness and stress. You could even say even geopolitics play a part in this. It's not like they create systems to facilitate bullying, but bullying will happen during this conditions more often.

Other more relaxed places where competitiveness isn't really focused on and people can freely express what they really think about each other may have less cases of bullying.

1) There are various reasons and personal ones at that. Each case is different. The gist of it is power abuse. It may be as simple as "I'm big, so I gonna bully others off their lunch money" to fuck up shit like systematic coercion and intimidation. It doesn't need to be 1 on 1, it can be the group against individual or another group. Why people bully? It's because they can get away with it is the bottom line. They can exert their power (whatever it is) over others without any ill consequences to them (or at least in their mind).

2) Again it depends on the bullying. Bullies will attack the weaker and the ones who they think will not fight back. Bullies at heart are cowards and know if their action becomes public they may face consequences unless the ingroup is willing to protect the bully over the victim(s). Stupid bullies will bite more than they can chew. Some will fight back or some will protect the victims. They just move on to a different target if not stopped. The smart ones will play with the system and abuse the right kind of victim they look for.

3) Again it depends on each victim. Some may be abused so thoroughly that they may think they deserve it or they are the wrong ones. Bully as any power play abuse will leave scars that may never heal. Some may be strong to overcome it. Some may never get over them properly.

4) Revenge is just a reaction. It doesn't mean it's good. It can be a really bad idea or not righteous in the end. In the end it's just one of the cope mechanism when proper resolution/justice isn't achieved (accordingly to the victim's POV). It's not just something innate human. Other animals partake in revenge.

Looking at bullying data, this map was interesting:

Judging from this map bullying is widespread. Just it is a matter of reporting and how the view what action as bullying. I guess some places will cut off any first sign of verbal/physical abuse ASAP while other may take a while to solve it worsening the problem.

So many more online bullies than in person. The hard ones to deal with are the bullies taming up on one person. I don't know what satisfaction the bullies are getting out of it. Their victim gets screwed up until they adapt.

Revenge is ignore and 'Not give them the time of the Day'.

Quote from jinaland

threatening someone is also bad tho

i haven't heard bully story, but watching that dramas & films about bullying and it scared me

i wonder in real life it's less or more scarier

but me getting bullied for 2-3 months and me thinking about it still after almost 2 years isnt good.

in real life, i don't know if its scary, i guess it is at a young age but im pretty sure the "me" right now hows to handle it in the future but i dont think i will get bullied again.

I've never been bullied since I was considered cool and a hard target. But it's happened in the schools i've attended and I saw some pretty bad things happen to some kids. I would usually be the one that would help get them justice but the scars that were left on them was the thing i couldn't help with. It really broke my heart.

1: None of these reasons can be justified so I wouldn't bother

2: Some victims get caught in scenarios where they can't do that. Some bullies have friends who join in the bullying. So it's like a 1v4 situation.

3: Bullying can make people more insecure about themselves even after they got justice.

4: This is really one of the only ways that victims cope

Quote from jinaland

heck yeah, but i can't deny that nasty people exist. But people just prefer getting along with others cuz they want peace more than anything. Kids are brave, if I slap someone's face I will be immediately called out for it and punished. Also we are huge Buddhist country, Buddhist words , practices & notion are ingrained in our mindset. It is almost like written rule.

Sounds like a nice place to live, can't relate

My daughter and I both experienced bullying in early high school as we were quiet and kids don’t like others who are different. They see it as a weakness they can prey upon. It makes them more superior to hide the mental health issues they’re suffering probably from parents or siblings at home.

It had a huge impact on my life and I suffered greatly from it. I was even bullied at school by my teacher for three years just for not talking in class. I have also been bullied by my older sister for most of my life out of jealousy.

Schools don’t really care and blame the victim for retaliating. It’s a huge social issue that needs to be addressed.