Why is kpop boys look pretty or look like girls used as an insult???

    I've seen this used a lot in "meme pages" but I feel like I'm missing the insult. So they agree these feminine boys are beautiful but then use it as an insult? Like being attractive a major plus point in any society but why does them being attractive become an insult?? Then what's the point of pushing the same beauty standards on women and making fun of them if they don't conform if it's gonna get them insulted anyway??


    Like since when do women or girls shove aside pretty boys and crush on big sweaty mma wrestlers? The advent of kpop and the hatred towards pretty boys that had women fawning over them is nothing new. Like they did the shame shit with the "Justin beiber is a girl" jokes..


    A girl acting tomboyish and a man acting feminine are both "considered" unattractive cuz its said over and over that men like feminine women and girls only like alpha sigma or whatever version of male has come up now. Masculine girls get a makeover scene to wow the male lead has been used over and over. Yet I'm sure all of us can pull up plenty of examples of that being untrue irl.


    I went off on a rant. I'm just wondering why being attractive or beautiful is an insult. Even in kpop women and even some men love tomboy idols like moonbyul and Lisa or even feminine idols like soojin and jennie. Both masculinity and femininity equally attractive amongst women so why don't men feel the same about feminity in men? Is it cuz its used as a joke in most conservative countries or sumn? I hope my mind mush has been translated properly into words.

    Desbundar

    idk I think those people are just trying to offend someone lol ?? It is more of a juvenile insult, MOSTLY when people grow up they get over those silly insults? Like when I was small some people thought I behaved "like a boy" and tried to use it against me but I didnt even understand lmao

    It's toxic masculinity. Anything that could be considered "feminine" is weak and therefore bad. Being pretty, expressing vulnerable emotion, etc. are all rejected as weakness.


    There's also a layer of racism when it involves Asian men who are often stereotyped as sexless and non-threatening soft boys. I realized a few months ago that I've seen western publications describe kpop boy groups as having "safe, non-threatening masculinity" a depressing number of times.

    Quote from pinksz

    idk I think those people are just trying to offend someone lol ?? It is more of a juvenile insult, MOSTLY when people grow up they get over those silly insults? Like when I was small some people thought I behaved "like a boy" and tried to use it against me but I didnt even understand lmao

    He he. Yeah i wonder why its insulting though. I've noticed idols like Moonbyul, Ryujin and Lisa are ridiculously attractive whichever way they are styled but I'd be lying if I say their tomboyishness didn't make them more attractive in my eyes. Even winter from aespa even though there are members within every group that are considered more feminine and attractive a lot of these tomboy girls are major stan attractors for women. They have some of the biggest solo fandoms. Like no doubt women love girl crush.


    I don't get why women fawn over both pretty and tomboy gg idols but i don't see the same with bg idols. It's always the masculine muscular ones that are more.....respected amongst men and are portrayed as gods that women throw themselves at even in Hollywood like Jason momoa is considered popular. I saw a post saying he's more attractive than one direction combined and yeah he's attractive but they be lying if they say most girls will pick him over someone like zayn.

    Quote from quark12395

    It's toxic masculinity. Anything that could be considered "feminine" is weak and therefore bad. Being pretty, expressing vulnerable emotion, etc. are all rejected as weakness.


    There's also a layer of racism when it involves Asian men who are often stereotyped as sexless and non-threatening soft boys. I realized a few months ago that I've seen western publications describe kpop boy groups as having "safe, non-threatening masculinity" a depressing number of times.

    That makes sense ngl. Being beautiful is a weakness but women are pressured to be weak :( it's so weird to me. Is there any equivalent to being as respected as a masculine playboy like say dicaprio for a woman besides being a sex symbol? There was this tumblr post if the industry was reversed and the man was the empowered sex symbol in an all female lead movie randomly getting out of pools and fighting in the bare minimum with ridiculous zoom ins. I realized how ridiculous it was when the roles were reversed. It was satire but damn hits hard. I'll link it when I find it.


    Sexless and non threatening aye. The lies. I already found east Asians attractive as hell but I'm sure there were many that didn't and still found most kpop boys plenty attractive.

    Desbundar

    Quote from Serendipity2000

    Yep! I'm just wondering why being attractive is bad thing when most people aspire to be attractive...

    I guess the thing is there's different kinds of attraction...

    it could be looks, wealth, muscles, veins!!!! (which I learnt recently - monalisalove), money, power etc etc


    an example might be Tzuyu might be really pretty but I feel great attraction to dahyun because of her personality (or rather what I've seen of her personality)


    what attracts you to a person might be different to what attracts me...or someone else...

    which is why the "flower boys" comment is used as an insult...since those people probably prefer a different kind of male...

    I understand your confusion, I remain my statement that it relies on juvenile behavior like it feels juvenile "oh this man looks feminine" and makes fun of it like 6th graders? majority I know grow up and understand that people are different and there are many types of different beauties, haha it differs from taste depending on the person too personally I am more fangirl of "girly" (keep in mind i dont have a good way to explain this) idols like Joy, Hyuna, Jessica, Jennie, Tiffany, YooA, Yeri idk many idols they usually keep more my attention than tomboys but I think tomboys ofc are super pretty too! for men I prefer manly man but of course other type of men are beautiful when i was younger it was difficult to understand individuality but I never spoke about it, after I became an adult I started to understand individuality in many ways including beauty types I believe when someone put other down by using traits such as feminine or masculine are very young if they use it as "offense" (very silly of them) most of them will grow out of it, because when we are younger we dont have a grasp of individuality as good as we usually have when we grow and understanding of beauty and its many ways only shows after some maturity imho! thats why when i see people going in groups offending people over something superficial i think they must be so young and juvenile ugh (and of course acting badly) like those people who put feminine men down, perhaps they just feel like they are funny or right but it mostly immaturity and i wouldn't mind them much of course i am not saying they are right they are obviously very silly and picky and annoying but don't take their commentaries much serious you know?

    other than that i believe everyone have their personal tastes for everything as long as we dont put others down we all good i believe

    sorry it was a rant lmao

    It's not a handsome and attractive Man like a Woman that people laugh and insult.
    it's a handsome Man without virility that people insult ,


    VIRILITY is the fact that a Man is a Man in our society ,

    And in all honesty, if you put a very good looking guy without virility next to an average good looking guy with virility
    People would prefer the average guy, why? because he is manly :eyebrowsr:

    One take One shot 🍻


    Quote from Panpriyah-lice

    It's not a handsome and attractive Man like a Woman that people laugh and insult.
    it's a handsome Man without virility that people insult ,


    VIRILITY is the fact that a Man is a Man in our society ,

    And in all honesty, if you put a very good looking guy without virility next to an average good looking guy with virility
    People would prefer the average guy, why? because he is manly :eyebrowsr:

    interesting can you tell virility merely by looking at someone?

    Toxic masculinity is a hell of a drug. The same people who use 'urgh, they look like a girl' are probably the same who use 'gay' as an insult. They have this very strict definition of what a man should look like, and if you stray from it, then you are seen as a 'lesser' man.


    Big spoiler though : hyper-masculinity is a male fantasy. Which is why movies for men are chock-full of them. Women are rarely attracted to this idea tbh.

    Quote from Panpriyah-lice

    Yeah ofc, looking at how his gestures are and how he talks, how is his behavior towards other people
    It's not just appearance that determines virility


    I say all this because I have friends who are very beautiful, but only looking at how they speak to you, the gestures of their hands, their way of expressing themselves

    They are always insulted in our school, people laugh at them even if they don't know anything ...

    Your personality ??? they don't care

    They will judge your virility merly by your looking


    ofc i'm not that kind of people

    i love everyone :lover4:

    One take One shot 🍻


  • AllKill VIP
    Quote from Serendipity2000

    its said over and over that men like feminine women and girls only like alpha sigma or whatever version of male has come up now.

    Gender roles and the double standard it created.


    Not you, but I have seen people being vocal about this double standard for a long time. But it seems like this the only double standard people are willing to accept. The two genders have a ridiculous amount of double standards that gives advantages and disadvantages to both… when you talk about the double standards hold unto women, thankfully the majority (apart from the misogynists) agree, but when it comes to the double standards hold unto men, some try to act like you’re crazy when you mention some, trying to deny or trying to justify it that it’s different. I do believe it comes from a good place cause they want to be protective towards women, but denying those double standards is dangerous, than it’s the expectation society holds unto men and the mockery if they don’t live up to those expectations that causes toxic masculinity.

    It’s pretty interesting to see that some only see the double standards when it’s convenient to them.

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