If you found out a former bully of yours was about to debut as an idol, would you go public?
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It’s too hypothetical. But I probably wouldn’t. I understand why someone might so power to them.
But for me I’m in a good place now and successful in my own right, the last thing I want to do is re live HS.
If you’re facing the effects of the bullying even till now I can see why those people would want justice though.
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depends on the bullying
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nope
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No, I wouldn't go public. I was bullied A LOT in elementary and middle school. I dealt with any damage in therapy like a reasonable adult because seeking vengeance, while possibly satisfying in the short term, does not actually fix the mental harm that might've been done. I wanted to move forward with my life and often times, moving forward means leaving the past in the past without the ideal resolution you might've wanted. When I do trauma work with my clients, this is typically what happens. They let go and move forward.
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Yes, I'm ruining his/her fucking life
Payback bitch
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This is me. I'm not into the whole revenge thing either. I feel grudges just hold me back and aren't worth it in the end. This is not to say I won't lay into someone in the here and now. But I'd rather teach that lesson quickly if possible and then entirely move on.
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No, I wouldn't go public. I was bullied A LOT in elementary and middle school. I dealt with any damage in therapy like a reasonable adult because seeking vengeance, while possibly satisfying in the short term, does not actually fix the mental harm that might've been done. I wanted to move forward with my life and often times, moving forward means leaving the past in the past without the ideal resolution you might've wanted. When I do trauma work with my clients, this is typically what happens. They let go and move forward.
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Personally wasn't bullied so...
Based on the situation where I'm at right now, I'm doing pretty good for myself so I probably wouldn't waste my time, especially if I had no proof. My school was also pretty anti-bullying, so I would blame myself as well for failing to seek help to get out of that situation.
However, if I was in a state of mind or situation that's not in a good place I can imagine just being triggered to take action. So would like to say I would be the bigger person but it's hard to put yourself in those shoes if you haven't experienced it.
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It depends on the type of bullying.
I’m a big believer in forgiveness because I believe from experience that it stimulates self-healing.
Bullying is so different now because it’s a lot more verbal and psychological than it was years ago. When I was in eight grade I was bullied by literally being thrown into a trash can (think large cafeteria type with disgusting food), but that was nothing compared to what kids go through now because it’s repeated abuse over and over there affects the victim forever.
I do agree that the type of bullying matters. If the individual is really callous though, I would have reported them already. I believe in paper trails. I feel very sad for the kids who go through this alone
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Well, I mean, I would hope that you wouldn't be mean to anyone no matter who posted this. Yes, it came to mind because of the buzz around lesserafim, but this thread isn't about them. I post a lot of hypotheticals if something makes them occur to me. I understand liking a group, but I don't think that should mean not being able to have conversations that touch on topics like this.
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I'm a very vengeful person but only in the right circumstance...
I was bullied as a kid but revenge doesn't necessarily mean taking it out against you the bully...it can mean doing better than them showing that that in the end its you who's winning etc etc
that being said maybe maybe not - depending on whether I had the evidence to back it up especially given SK's malicious defamation laws...
Revenge is a dish best served cold!!!
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It’s too hypothetical. But I probably wouldn’t. I understand why someone might so power to them.
But for me I’m in a good place now and successful in my own right, the last thing I want to do is re live HS.
If you’re facing the effects of the bullying even till now I can see why those people would want justice though.
What if you both were still in high school?
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Well I had a childhood bully (high school hood?). No I would not. But my bully has already reached out and apologized.
It was good of them to do that. I think that I would feel some closure if my bullies did that.
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I'm actually really bad at holding grudges too. I like talking to people. If people start talking to me, I tend to talk to them even if I disliked them before lol
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It depends on the bullying.
If it was just a few times where they were rude, or maybe they cyberbullied me a bit. That's ok. I'm not gonna be concerned with what they're doing with their life in the future. Your years in primary school and high school shouldn't matter so much into adulthood at most times anyway.
However, stuff like racism which I have experienced being half Japanese and not looking caucasian at all is where I draw the line. That stuff should not be tolerated especially if they haven't apologized. If you go out of your way to offend me because I'm asian (something I didn't choose to be) then you better not become a celebrity. Good thing the people who called me racial slurs are out of my life.
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This. A lot of people think when I say my philosophy is to move on, means I am advocating forgiveness. I'm not. At all. But I think some have trouble moving on without that closure.
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I would never forgive the bully but I think I would be too scared to come out and say it. What if it affects my family too? Better to ignore it rather than opening past wounds.
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life's better laughing than being vengeful
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life's better laughing than being vengeful
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Well I wasn't bullied tho so I can't personally relate to this but if ever... I would not. It would probably the last thing that I want to reminisce.
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It depends on the bullying.
If it was just a few times where they were rude, or maybe they cyberbullied me a bit. That's ok. I'm not gonna be concerned with what they're doing with their life in the future. Your years in primary school and high school shouldn't matter so much into adulthood at most times anyway.
However, stuff like racism which I have experienced being half Japanese and not looking caucasian at all is where I draw the line. That stuff should not be tolerated especially if they haven't apologized. If you go out of your way to offend me because I'm asian (something I didn't choose to be) then you better not become a celebrity. Good thing the people who called me racial slurs are out of my life.
Oh that's interesting. I got bullied on the basis of my ethnicity too. I still don't think I would go out of my way to publicly out them, but yeah, I would hold more of a grudge about those incidents than garden variety bullying. Even when I see celeb scandals now, I less likely to look past racist behavior than just jerk behavior. I feel like the vast majority of people who get called out for racist stuff just apologize cuz they get caught and then learn how to hide their racism better rather than actually becoming better people.
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Oh that's interesting. I got bullied on the basis of my ethnicity too. I still don't think I would go out of my way to publicly out them, but yeah, I would hold more of a grudge about those incidents than garden variety bullying. Even when I see celeb scandals now, I less likely to look past racist behavior than just jerk behavior. I feel like the vast majority of people who get called out for racist stuff just apologize cuz they get caught and then learn how to hide their racism better rather than actually becoming better people.
Are you me?
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Revenge isn't going to solve any pain people put me through. I would want to move on, forget it, forget them and go about my business. If they literally bullied someone with concrete evidence to the point they put that person in the hospital, expose them. But I often feel like people don't know the true definition of bully and assume every negative interaction with someone is bullying, which is not the case.
I believe that people deserve the right to a 2nd chance, a right to turn their life around and learn from past mistakes. I am not going to go out of my way to ruin someone's life because I'm a bitter miserable person. I don't operate that way. Kids argue, fight, don't get along all the time in school. Personalities clash, that doesn't mean they are going to be the same person they were as a kid, as an adult.
If people think ruining someone's life makes them a better person, I feel sorry for them.
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