1st Criminal - STAYC
Crime - Stealing Weeeklys shine!
Sentence - STOP making MUSIC!
2nd - Jeon Somi
Crime - stealing out of Rosé's purse, Hiding in Lisa's recording booth and taking notes on her rapping style, giving giselle bad karma, bad solo music, stealing rosé's hair dye and clothes, finding the same director for love sick girls and making him film all her MVs.
Sentence- Going back to JYP entertainment and joining ITZY.
3rd - BTS
Crime - not sticking to their fake love slay, allowing bighit to rule over them (fight back bts!!) submitting butter to the grammys, allowing armys to rule twitter (fight back exols??) cutting jungooks hair, giving yoongi more shine than RM, collab with anti vaxxer nicki flopnaj, releasing permisson to dance and not danger 2.0 slay.
Sentence - Going back to their roots and releasing no more dream 2.0!!!!
4th - Blackpink
Crime - kicking 2ne1 out of their dorm, rosé stealing bom's gig, kicking future 2ne1 out of YG, releasing how you like that after a year hiatus, being on another hiatus for a year (somi's fault...), releasing solo work and not group work, Rosé's blond hair (fight back rosé's scalp!!!! Fight back!!!) Lisa never dying her hair back to blonde (pre debut slay) jisoo in a k-drama on Disney plus (how am I gonna stream that?) Jennie stealing CLs gig, Lisa not growing her hair out.
Sentence - Finding Baemons Debut MV and deleting it, Hacking into Teddy's computer and deleting all his saved files and demos, giving rosé a solo with her deeper voice, sending g-dragon to prison.
5th- Stray Kids
Crime - releasing side effects, allowing hyunjin to over shadow minho (fight back minho...?) not remembering Minho's cats names, releasing thunderous after slayful wolf gang (it was bad for them...) letting changbin start every song (changbin I'm under your bed...) allowing changbin to rap the same way in every song (jisung fight back!!!) never hearing chan rap, not making domino the title track.
Sentence - no more noisy music!! new producer that isn't 3racha for all title tracks, releasing God's menu 2.0, put changbin on time out.
6th - ITZY
Crime - straying from roots thanks to everglow, bad music, not making icy 2.0, strayed from teen crush and decided to join the mafia?, bad b-sides, setting up chaeryoung for failure, setting up lia, setting up ryujin with haechan....both have one thing in common...so idk where we go from there...I know lia wrote that rumor..., yuna God complex.
Sentence - go back to roots!! You are not in love with men stop releasing music about them!! Dalla dalla?
7th - Aespa
Crime - giselle, setting up ning ning, dying Karina's hair, hair stylists purposely setting winter up, releasing savage, releasing next level, bad debut, not being f(x) 2.0, bad stage presence, never moving lips when lip syncing, giselle writing that rumor of jungwoo and Karina up, naevis?, bad MVs.
Sentence - please make La Cha Ta 2.0, no more hair dye, no more giselle rapping, put winter on timeout so ningning can shine.
8th - NCT
Crime - adding sung chan and shotaro but doing nothing with them, giving dozen johnny raps instead of ace mark (still love you johnny), taeyong alien rapping in every song, taeyong stealing from kai, WayV releasing the same song over and over again, NCT dream deciding to grow up and release grown men music (booo!!!!), nct 127 releasing bad music and not superhuman 2.0, not making the 7th sense 2.0, straying away from good music (limitless fight back?) Kicking winwin out of nct127, giving winwin 0 lines (Lucas's fault...) Lucas in general, bad rappers, fake laughing being obvious in interviews, johnny having basic American humor...(fight back Jay from day6?)
Sentence - Kicking out producers from studio!!!
9th - SNSD
Crime - not having a comeback, actress curse, hyoyeon becoming a dozen, taeyeon releasing snooze fests and not bad love 2.0, sunny being jobless, editing jessica out of catch me if you can MV, jessica bad karma, releasing holiday and party, not releasing genie 2.0, running 2ne1 out of the kpop industry.
Sentence - comeback!!!
10th - got7
Crime - if you do 2.0 never being released, bad music starting from debut, mark the dozen, Jackson the dozen, yugyeom making RnB flops?, all fading into background after disbandment, never confirming their disbandment to be quirky, JayB collabing with Jay Park the terrorizer of kpop, Jinyoung becoming the only successful member, bad career in general, bam bam the dozen flop solo work, bad performances, bad everything.
Sentence - jail time. Max 10 years. 11 years for Jackson.
11th - Twice
Crime - growing up, releasing more and more, releasing I cant stop me but not being able to sing it live, majority dozens, momo, not releasing cheer up 2.0, having a comeback already (will stream!!), encores started the chain effect of groups not being able to sing (enhypen....), Killing chayoungs hair, Nayeon, leaving JYP and then fading into the abyss like got7, probably actress curse. Filler songs in full albums...17 tracks? About 5 of those are actually going to be good. Seriously though, stop it, allowing blackpink to drag them.
Sentence - STOP making MUSIC. (too much songs for me to listen to! And filler payola in albums!!!
12th - Red Velvet
Crime - Disbanding, Wendy releasing boring Christian ballads, Irene never moving her face, Joy dating that man, Yeri becoming jobless, Seulgi becoming jobless, releasing queendom, bad album, releasing zimzalabim, bad music streak, joys acting.
Sentence - give good solo to seulgi (that's if she re-signs...) make Irene an actress...never allow wendy to make music again....give yeri a job.
