Being ugly has completely ruined my life

  • I really ask me why you made this thread if you always get mad at people who have another opinion on this and even people who try to help you. Yeah sure no one likes you (Count me in) because your are ugly and it can't be because you just have a shitty character? You say that you are a nice person but what I saw here shows me otherwise.

    I really don't make these threads for sympathy lol.... my life is basically over, I am not young I am 28. I just make them so people know there are minority like me who suffer because it's a serious problem, hopefully next generations will not suffer like I did, my personality wasn't like this, it was normal, society is what made me bitter and angry and depressed. Personality doesn't matter in my case, even I see assholes who bullied me living and enjoying the life just fine. For some people like me their fate and future has already been decided the moment they are born.

  • I really don't make these threads for sympathy lol.... my life is basically over, I just make them so people know there are minority like me who suffer because it's a serious problem, hopefully next generations will not suffer like I did, my personality wasn't like this, it was normal, society is what made me bitter and angry and depressed.


    Yeah sry to hear but I doesn't matter what society done to you because it don't give you the right to be an Ass to other. I really hope you over come this and find the right people you deserve. Even if you give up on life I still wish you the best.

  • Some people are healthy some poeple not

    Some people come from a good background some people not

    Some are smarter some are not

    Some have good temperament some not

    And some poeple are prettier some are not


    There are things we don't have a control and there are things we can work on it. And there are many things we don't know how precious it is until we lose it. Each of us have their own struggle, you are not alone. Personally I don't think there is anything more important than health and safety. As long as you live there is always a chance for things to get better. It seems some people have been judging you for your looks even though it is not your fault... I am sorry that has happened to you. Don't think all people are like that.If it's bothering you you can try to improve your appearcnce with exercise, skincare, styling... etc if you like. But I think you need to take care of your mental health as well. In my opinion you should see a counseller or psychiatrist. Talking about your hardships and seeking guidance doesn't sound like a bad idea

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  • Don’t be so hard on yourself, learning to love yourself is a good step in the right direction. Confidence can make you appear way more attractive then you think.

  • The phrase "dress for the body you have" applies to everything... hairstyle, makeup etc. You'd be amazed how much a change in hairstyle can shape how we perceive someone's face. Even genuinely ugly people can at least attain a reasonably acceptable aesthetic if they style themselves tastefully. Maybe you should consult a stylist for advice on a hairstyle.


    It's sort of like how optical illusions work. An artist can make a certain arrangement that can make you think something is moving, or something is a different shape than it actually is, all because of the way it is presented. Likewise a tasteful choice of glasses/hairstyle/makeup contours can drastically change the way you look.


    To be frank, Kpop is a shitty hobby for someone with self-esteem issues regarding their appearance. The Kpop world glorifies perfect barbie dolls who have all had plastic surgery and don't eat enough in the name of attaining an impossible beauty standard. I've gotten Youtube recommendations before of these "fat tracker" videos with titles like "A history of Twice member X's weight loss/gain." The video ends up just being a timeline of pictures where the person looks exactly the same in every single one, and a narrator is saying "here she gained some weight, here she lost some weight" as if these near-invisible microscopic details make any difference at all. I like Kpop for the music videos and the fashion but I also recognize that it can be a little cancerous in this regard and maybe for someone like you who seems to have serious self esteem issues it isn't the best hobby right now.


    What's more, i9son is right. If you come in asking people for help, and then shame them when you don't hear what you wanted, you're going to look like an ass and drive people away. That can definitely influence how many friends you have. I've known plenty of popular ugly people. Honestly physical attractiveness really only matters if you're looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend. For platonic friends you really only have to maintain good hygiene and be cool. I don't personally give a flying shit how hot my friends are, I want them to make good conversation and be respectful, cool, and considerate of my feelings. Now if I'm looking for someone to sleep with, that's another story, but even then, personality matters as much as looks. I've dumped very attractive girls because they had a personality that didn't gel with me and I've been into girls with obvious physical flaws because we connected on an emotional level. But you gotta be cool and try to be nice, honest and fun to be around... NOT complain that it's impossible before you even try. And when you inevitably do something cringe, you gotta play it cool and get back up again. Cause you only have one life, and time and aging won't wait while you lick your wounds.

  • I don’t know if I should say this but I used to work in psychiatry and people sometimes don’t understand how hard it is for people to turn their life around who had a really hard life.


    There’s this narrative of “just snap out of it” or “you decide how to feel” which is easier said than done if your whole upbringing had programmed you to loath yourself.


    People always say “oh your family loves you and only did this and that bc they love you” Sadly that isn’t always true. Some people enjoy being mean to / abuse their own children and should NEVER be allowed to become a parent. If you then also get bullied this is reinforced. Bullying leaves people scarred FOR LIFE.


    Having said that.. I have seen people make their lives better. Slowly. It’s a massive work with oneself but it CAN happen. One have to start small. Be kind to yourself is the first step I think. Find the little thing you like or are good at and build from there. It’s hard work and the struggle is totally unfair but it’s one way to go. Good luck <3

  • You are no way in hell uglier than me lol, I am one of these people who are always uglier than everybody else. I am fit and I take care of myself but my face is so goddammit ugly as fuck lol. I can't change that. My family left today all of them without telling me, they went out to eat lunch and left me home alone without food (they always do that). They don't even ask if I am dead or alive, sometimes I would lock myself for days. My personality is fine, I am always the one who would call people and friends, check on them and invite them, I try not to complain and be drama free, but they never ask or check on me, or invite me, I realized that doesn't matter and pointless. Then I stopped calling them and guess what!!! no one ever called. Nobody has called me for years now.... And those my childhood friends... I realize it's because of my ugliness people always will know deep down that I am a loser (there are certain characteristics associated with ugly people, and don't try to deny that) who doesn't have a normal life. It's depressing as fuck, but you people are average and will never realize what the too ugly person go through. I am going to get plastic surgery hopefully It can turn things around a little bit. If I died It doesn't matter I am already dead lol. Stop blaming me for something I have no control over goddammit. X/

    Ik I shouldn't reccomend this but........ Plastic surgery and make up, also try to change your hairstyle, that make a HUGE diffrance, but yea

  • @ OP, Please seek help or talk to someone in person (professional) about it. This situation is a downward spiral. Just talking about it on a kpop forum is empty calories.

    How is seeking help will change how people perceive me, you people don't understand. If I tried to be confident people will always remind me that I am ugly and try to put me. they will be like "hey you are fucking ugly learn your place" I have been bullied at school, rejected, nobody will invite me anywhere, never been in a relashionship, or made any meaningful connection, you people giving me advice will also reject me because you wouldnt handle how truly ugly I am lol.

  • How is seeking help will change how people perceive me, you people don't understand. If I tried to be confident people will always remind me that I am ugly and try to put me. they will be like "hey you are fucking ugly learn your place" I have been bullied at school, rejected, nobody will invite me anywhere, never been in a relashionship, or made any meaningful connection, you people giving me advice will also reject me because you wouldnt handle how truly ugly I am lol.

    Yes that is exactly why you should talk to someone who is more qualified and have experience in this. Changing the way people perceive you can start with how you perceive yourself and talking to to a professional, might help with that.

    But I don't know I'm just a Kpop stan who watches Blackpink videos all day.

  • Yes that is exactly why you should talk to someone who is more qualified and have experience in this. Changing the way people perceive you can start with how you perceive yourself and talking to to a professional, might help with that.

    But I don't know I'm just a Kpop stan who watches Blackpink videos all day.

    Omfg... how is me thinking I am hot is going to make people think I am pretty!!!!


    You don't get it!!!! It's not me, my personality is fine, it's people who are not able to look past my looks. I have never had 1 true friend who cares about me. Its all about looks girl, stop being delusional and time to accept the truth.

  • im sorry for what you've gone through. truly i am. no one should go through that.

    but just try this before you think its not worth it.

    for the next month, every day, morning and night at least, speak kindly to yourself. spend 5 minutes in the morning complimenting yourself. even if its hard at first, do it. say i have such a pretty face, im pretty inside and out, i am a beautiful soul, i love myself. say all sorts of different things. you can do it in bed or in the mirror or outside, wherever you feel best. and do it again at night. write it in a diary too if you want, in first person.

    try to detach during the day. like distract yourself with responsibilites, hobbies, conversations.

    don't focus on your looks and if you do pass by a mirror or think of yourself, tell yourself i love myself.

    you can also avoid all mirrors for a month while doing these positive affirmations if it helps you.

    as for people, i think you should try to, for now, forget any hurtful incidences. its hard, but do it for you.

    if you fixate on those it will hold you back.

    tell yourself "no one can hurt me without my approval and i do not approve"

    i know its way easier said than done and i'm not trying to simplify things, but just try to overlook anything hurtful and focus on feeling good

    if you do feel bad, watch a good movie, listen to good music, go on a walk, talk to people online, just detach.

    you can message me

    and read this https://www.thesecret.tv/stories/you-are-beautiful-2/

    we all have the power to do what we want with our lives. its way way way way way more than you think. we cant control the way others treat us but we can control our reactions

    just read this and follow what i said and trust me and trust in the universe

  • I’m so sorry, I know because I’m considered physically pretty, that what I say probably doesn’t matter


    But really - beauty is nothing. I’m serious. What? Being born with some nice physical features? Wow what a big achievement - people act like so proud to be considered attractive, when it’s not something they even had to work for. It was literally luck of the gene pool. It’s meaningless. If all these people around you see beauty instead of what on the inside they are ugly ugly people on the inside. Humans are horrible and to treat others like they’re less than just because of how they look is awful and I’m so sorry that these are the only people you’ve came across in life. I could imagine how awful it feels. Please don’t let it make you feel life is not worth living!!!!

    if it bothers you so so much, consider maybe some changes surgically etc, it can help you to feel better - absolutely nothing wrong with it!! But don’t do it for others, just for you to feel more confident. To be waking up and looking in the mirror in disgust upsets me, maybe you do have BDD (I had it too), but I know from experience if you’re set on feeling a certain way about how you look, it can take a long time, if it even happens, to accept how you look and find beauty in yourself. So if you really want to maybe try surgery honestly. I would even now as someone attractive!

  • But honestly all that will do is fix how you feel about urself physically and tbh you may not even like it or feel it’s worth it and that you’re losing yourself to appease others. By the time surgery happens it’s too late you cannot get your old features back.


    But honestly try positive affirmations, compliment yourself, compliment your personality too not just your physical features, I’m 10000% sure you have at least ONE feature some people would die for!!!!


    Looking at yourself in the mirror and hating yourself is just reinforcing this feeling. You have to start loving yourself from the inside, you have to work to stop seeing this ugliness you perceive


    And fuck all those people who cared about looks

    I never gave a fuck about looks, I can only be friends with nice people. And tbh most pretty people are pricks from experience; they harbour jealousy and have superiority complex. They need to be center of attention and thrive off compliments. It’s disgusting. I grew up ugly so I like to think my personality developed lmao


    But seriously fuck all them! You deserve some good people in your life I’m so sorry

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