Are abusive relationships romanticized in KDramas??

i haven't watched that many k-dramas, but there's this old really good k-drama about a sad romantic relationship. it's called "49 days". it's a sad, romantic, comedy, sci-fi K-drama.

most of them do have romance, but not all of them, some of them are about revenge or horror or sci-fi, etc..

i edited my reply

Yes.

Grabbing your gf arm, forcing her to do or go to places she doesnt want to and other things are very romanticized in korean dramas.

I guess it appeals to many women, because I've also seen it in many mangas for women. No woman wants it to happen to them in real life, but it's different in fiction.

I watched a K-drama where the main point seemed to be that the woman was unreasonable because she wasn't happy that she was being cheated on. I think the moral was that if she'd just been a nice pick-me he might have stayed. There seems to be a lot of that melodramatic "It's not love if we don't scream and slap each other" stuff. The male lead yanks the female lead around by the arm a lot.

But Koreans probably watch Twilight and 50 Shades and wonder what's wrong with Westerners that we like this fucked up stuff.

To be completely honest, I haven’t watched many romantic KDramas, but from what I have seen, the grabbing of the gf’s arm and like, forcing her to go places and all of that is heavily romanticized in KDramas. I guess it’s seen as “cute”, but in reality is most definitely not. I usually watch action KDramas, so I’m not too knowledgeable.

hmm...i would say that in most kdramas it is romanticised. Not all, but most.

Grabbing your partner’s arm, pulling them in for a kiss, etc.

this can be cute in the show, but irl it can be scary

most of the time the relationships are healthy and adorable tho! I think the older ones with the bad boy x poor girl trope are the most toxic ones tho

Quote from silver25

I guess it appeals to many women, because I've also seen it in many mangas for women. No woman wants it to happen to us in real life, but it's different in fiction.

I agree with this!

Grabbing the hand and stuff people mentioned often happen in Korean dramas. I never had problem with it, especially if there is some limit or scenes where woman does the same or where woman was messing around just to get attention.

I even like it sometimes.

Quote from bea-valentina

True, I guess the problem lies in differentiating what behaviour is acceptable or creepy in real life and fiction.

Yeah same shit with 50 Shades, I don't get the need to always have a couple where one partner is extremely toxic to the point where it just becomes creepy and abusive but in the drama, it brushes of as affectionate and caring like--

Same here, when it's for the attention or affection in a non-toxic relationship

I completely agree! It just really depends!

yes. the most popular shows everyone recommends are full of problematic scenes. i dropped many due to ML's horrible mistreatment of FL and not only physical but emotional abuse. princess hours (which is in the video you linked), she was pretty, and secret garden are some of the examples where such behavior is depicted as romantic.

nowadays a lot has changed for the better, there are no more forced kissing scenes but wrist grabbing and forced pulling scenes are still present. i assume wrist grabbing is a cultural thing, maybe they think taking someone's hand is more intimate. but forced pulling is unacceptable.

it also annoys me that being jealous is depicted as romantic. when a couple gets together none of the partners should be left alone or talk to another person because the other one will get mad. then it follows that infamous line - from now the only man/woman you are allowed to see is me (i'm paraphrasing but you get the point).

btw, i think that forced kissing scene in coffee prince worked, it wasn't meant to be romantic but to show ML's frustration. yes, it wasn't nice but it worked.

watch thai dramas

Quote from bea-valentina

What are they like??

toxic relationship at its finest, kdrama is relatively tame tho

Quote from bea-valentina

Damn kinda shocked but then again...

but i still keep watching f4

Quote from jinaland

watch thai dramas

Older.... Every has few scenes of actual rape and complete mistreatment. And every plot is based on Stockholm syndrome.

Quote from Jk996

Older.... Every has few scenes of actual rape and complete mistreatment. And every plot is based on Stockholm syndrome.

yeah i havent watched thai dramas only remake of jdrama or kdramas

but then i have found bunch of thai drama clips on yt it was scary

but i am gonna watch f4 thai version

Quote from jinaland

but i am gonna watch f4 thai version

When is it coming out?

Quote from Jk996

When is it coming out?

idk the trailers are already out

from mydramalist it says august but there was question mark

so idk

Quote from jinaland

yeah i havent watched thai dramas only remake of jdrama or kdramas

but then i have found bunch of thai drama clips on yt it was scary

I watched it. There are some good too. But a lot have extreme scenes of mistreatment. Their famous, older dramas are mostly slap and kiss or whatever is the name of it. It's like hate to love relationship. So it is quite extreme and scary.

Quote from bea-valentina

Are you talking about boys over flowers??

yes

Quote from bea-valentina

What are they like??

Rape is depicted as sexy. Literally, I'm not being overdramatic. Forcing yourself on a person who says no but they eventually end up having sex because "romantic". it's portrayed like woman/man wanted it after all.

Also, thai's bl are misogynistic and homophobic as hell, one partner is called "wifey" and everyone is fine with that

edit: grammar

That's why I can't watch most of them.

Quote from doesitneedsaying

Rape is depicted as sexy. Literally, I'm not being overdramatic. Forcing yourself on a person who says no but they eventually end up having sex because "romantic". it's portrayed like woman/man wanted it after all.

Also, thai's bl are misogynistic and homophobic as hell, one partner is called "wifey" and everyone is fine with that

edit: grammar

I thought that I was the only 1 who dont like and cant understand this aspect of Asians BL loves. From manga, novels to dramas (all dramas, not just Thai), they have that uke/seme relationships. It just isnt logical at all to me. I get pissed off when I see how they treat the submissive one (idk which one is it)....

my fave kdramas are mostly crime/thriller ones that doesn't have romance

i prefer web dramas, they are more realistic for example dramas on playlist global

Quote from bea-valentina

I agree, forced pulling and pushing someone is such a part of their romantic culture that they don't register it as violence, but just some sappy couple thing.

I think that to them it's not romanticizing because they know it's just a fantasy thing like omg hot boy pushes you against a wall.

Tbh I'm not surprised that jealousy is depicted a lot in these dramas. Just by the video I watched, I think there is a limit to how much a person should feel this emotion before it becomes some type of addiction through stalking and other acts that are considered impulsive (physical and emotional abuse) due to their suspicion and insecurity.

Back in the days of vines, there was a trend in Japan where they made fun of people pushing against the wall so it's probably the same for Koreans who are used to these types of cliche romantic tropes xdd

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i meant to reply to this post first but i'm useless with phones :) i'm on a laptop rn.

it's is in their culture. everyone, check this article - 6 Differences Between Dating In Korea And America, According To A Male Idol

"Rather than spending time alone (or with friends - added by me) , any free time is automatically considered couples’ time. When someone wants to change that, they’re instantly faced with suspicion.

In Korea, ‘You’re free. I’m free. It’s our time then.’ There’s no, ‘You can have your time. I can have [my] time.’ If you say, ‘Can I have some time to myself,’ they’re like, ‘Why? Is something wrong? Do you not like me anymore?’"

"They think guys and girls can’t be friends in Korea. A lot of people think that."

"They (Koreans) think that you’ll be more interested if you do this whole push and pull thing. They think if you only pull, you’re gonna get bored of them fast. They act super interested and, all of a sudden, be kind of cold towards you. Then, they’ll act super interested…"

no wonder we're getting these kinds of scene if that's korean mindset.

Quote from Poetry

That's why I can't watch most of them.

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My favorite kdramas were Coffee Prince and a historical drama called Chuno. I prefer Korean feature films to dramas.

coffee prince has a forced kiss scene tho. but i already said that it worked well in it. which is a weird thing to say.

Quote from Jk996

I thought that I was the only 1 who dont like and cant understand this aspect of Asians BL loves. From manga, novels to dramas (all dramas, not just Thai), they have that uke/seme relationships. It just isnt logical at all to me. I get pissed off when I see how they treat the submissive one (idk which one is it)....

you're definitely not the only one. 5 or 6 years ago i watched several thai's bls before dropping them for good. it's 2021 and the way they still treat a bottom is disgusting. he's weak, does everything a top say, and is submissive in general, he's even called a wifey. everytime time i watched thai's bl l i got the urge to slap (or beat, yeah) both director and screenwriter. how can anyone think rape or force in general is hot?

i saw this scene on tumblr. it's from a show that's currently airing "lovely writer" and it's about exposing the world of bl series.

forward to 12:30, the director actually says that such scenes are hot. thankfully the main lead has brain cells and says it's borderline rape

i have no idea what uke/seme relationship is, you're the 3rd person who mentioned it. i need to google :D

we can complain about toxicity in korean dramas but i honestly never watched a series where rape was depicted as romantic. in fact, i don't remember watching a rape scene. i watched a scene with attempted rape and people's different reaction annoyed me (because this is my first life - i wholeheartedly recommend the show!).

i don't oppose problematic scenes, i find morally grey scenes interesting. but don't portray them as romantic, call out such behavior. (i'm currently watching a show with such scene and reactions are divided but i loved it :))

Quote from doesitneedsaying

coffee prince has a forced kiss scene tho. but i already said that it worked well in it. which is a weird thing to say.

The reason why it worked was because Gong Yoo's character thought Yoon Eunhye's character was a guy and they were pretending to be gay so that Gong Yoo's character's family would stop trying to get him to get married...which is an issue in itself. I hope I remembered the plot/script correctly. I tend not to re-watch series. It takes too much time. I'll re-watch feature films and episodes from "reality" series though.

Quote from Poetry

The reason why it worked was because Gong Yoo's character thought Yoon Eunhye's character was a guy and they were pretending to be gay so that Gong Yoo's character's family would stop trying to get him to get married...which is an issue in itself. I hope I remembered the plot/script correctly. I tend not to re-watch series. It takes too much time. I'll re-watch feature films and episodes from "reality" series though.

no, that's not the scene i'm talking about but this one

it's messed up but strangely i was okay with it.

Quote from doesitneedsaying

no, that's not the scene i'm talking about but this one

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it's messed up but strangely i was okay with it.

I wish my Spanish was better. I can't read the other subtitles. I'm trying to remember the context of this scene.

Quote from Poetry

I wish my Spanish was better. I can't read the other subtitles. I'm trying to remember the context of this scene.

it's romanian :D i couldn't find a scene with english subs

Quote from doesitneedsaying

it's romanian :D i couldn't find a scene with english subs

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he previously accepted that he's into a man and decided to go with "him" to the us because they wouldn't be accepted in south korea. he force kissed her after he found out she wasn't a he, got mad at her for betraying and lying to him.

There are 4 subtitle options. The default is Romanian. I chose Spanish because it's the only language of the 4 which I have been formally educated in.

Edit: The 2 other languages were Turkish and auto-generated Korean.