what is your definition of cyber bullying?

The constant and deliberate harassment of someone with intent to bait, intimidate and weaken. I have been a victim of it on here on the old and new and I won't tolerate it. It's childish and mean and there's only one solution for it - Block.

I will try to give you an example that did actually happen in this forum and still happens pretty often.

Imagine if there's a poster that doesn't like your faves and makes it pretty clear that they don't, you and a couple of your fellow fans or forum/guild friends start antagonising that poster everywhere in the forum even when they're not talking about your faves, you go to their appreciation threads of their own faves or any random thread they make and leave passive aggressive reactions to their posts, or start drama with them for no reason but old grudges that are irrelevant to the thread in question. Imagine using ad hominem on them every time they post something anywhere in the forum, specifically targeting them all the time, calling them names, ganging up on them, stalking their posts to find ammo to use against them, bringing them up in random threads to drag and laugh at them with your forum friends and making sure to make them feel hated and unwanted in the forum.

Maybe I'm being too specific here because this is pretty much the scenario that happened with someone I know who ended up leaving the forum because of this relentless targeted harassment he were subjected to. But I hope you got the idea, actually any number of these things can be considered cyberbullying.

Anyway, I always say this and hope more people would start taking it seriously : stop making enemies out of people just because you stan rival groups or because they don't like your faves. People don't deserve to be hated and antagonised just because they don't think your faves are all that. It's not that serious. Music taste or in this case kpop preference shouldn't be treated as a personality trait or a major component in someone's identity that decides whether we should like or hate them. Some of us might have many many things in common and could otherwise be friends in a different setting but instead choose to be enemies just because of whom we stan, and that's dumb.

Something else, before you decide that a certain poster deserves to be bullied, ask yourself : do I exhibit similar behaviours to that poster I hate so much? Because I swear to god I know posters here who literally call my faves music "garbage" but act like pointing out the heavy use of vocal processing in their faves music is an unforgivable offence. Your faves are not more precious than mine, you don't have any more right to drag my faves than I do yours. So if you're going to drag my faves or if you have no problem with your fellow fans doing it to my faves but then turn around and chase people out of the forum because they do the same to yours then be sure that I'm going to call you out for being a bully.

There, it isn't even 9am yet and I went and wrote a whole thesis

tbh it's not much different from irl bullying in terms of how it can make you feel, as someone who's experienced it I say irl bullying was personally much worse. at least online even if you feel so terrible, you could just leave or remember those people don't know you and eventually you'll laugh it off. I've known people so determined to prove others are this or that that they've just left. false accusations, excluding people, shading, etc as well.

Quote from icyruios

Everything is bullying

And especially on AKP, people keep like receipts and screenshot as blackmail material and 'proof' of users behavior so that they can use it as evidence to justify their actions when trying to win an argument.

People hold grudges from the old pre 2021 AKP forum as well, and you can't access that forum because it's deleted but there are people who still hold grudges from that and keep old screenshots and what not to use as bullying material to justify shit

Please just yesterday someone literally sifted through Tic_tac_toe's posts just to find receipts of Tic being allegedly hateful and toxic and put them on the spot. The receipts were mostly ridiculous and were just Tic RESPONDING to others and never starting shit herself or targeting any one (group or fandom) but that poster still framed them in a malicious way and got pats on the back from their friends.

Forget about the content of the receipts, but the mere action of going through someone's posts deliberately just to find something to use against them is creepy as hell and made me feel uncomfortable on behalf of Tic. I mean, it's not like this was about threads she made specifically to drag a group or a fandom, that would be understandable. But this was about several posts from several random threads.

The idea of feeling that frustrated towards someone you(barely) know solely online is just fascinating to me.

Some Cyber bullying is unique. Mob bullying for instance. also Cancel Culture.

More personal Cyber bullying is by small groups who tag team bullying victims.

Quote from Ves

If they think the screenshots were taken out of context, it is their right to object and debate the other poster. If it was fabricated, please report. I'd like to remind people that it is a public forum board. We can't stop people from accessing or viewing public content. Please watch what you say lest it be used against you.

No offence Ves but you're so painfully biased it's not even funny. Just last night you were "suggesting" that people who don't want the drama taglist to be plugged in their threads should say so in their op and that that request should be respected (and then got passive aggressive with someone who hinted that that would infringe with other posters' freedom of expression) yet now you're basically telling victims of targeted forum harassment and stalking to either get over it or stop bringing it upon themselves. I think we both know whom we're talking about and your fandom bias is showing.

Quote from Ves

I am saying watch what you say because it could be used against you - and has in many instances for others. I don't know who you think I'm talking about, but I didn't have a specific person in mind when giving that warning. I would say that to anyone. Perhaps you are inclined to read the worst you can into my words, but I am not targeting anyone.

I am not inclined to read the worst in your posts. It's more like you're too biased to realise how biased you are. Stalking a single user and taking screenshots of their posts to frame them and paint them in a negative light is much more serious and harmful than plugging the drama taglist in already messy threads (especially that the people who complain about the taglist have yet to bring a single receipt showing how it was used to bully them or anyone else) and yet you found a solution to the latter which if implemented would practically KILL the drama taglist, and at the same time your only solution for the former is for the victims to watch themselves

BTW, I'm not telling you you have to solve these problems, you took it upon yourself to suggest solutions that are disproportionate to the severity of the issues in question.

Quote from Ves

And chounim, I did not become passive aggressive with PeachPig, that was aggressive period. He was aggressive first, acting like I was going to dish out WPs. It is what is is and I don't think ether of us will hold one disagreement against each other going forward.

You also said a page back in this same thread that people's past posts should not be used against them, but here we are. I'm not offended, I own my words, but at least stay consistent.

Of course you'd take my words out of context

Fist of all, you're a staff member. Your words hold more importance than regular users especially when you take it upon yourself to suggest solutions for our forum problems. Me bringing up your suggested solution to the ongoing issue of the drama taglist as a staff member is not the same as a user bringing up random posts of another user in random threads to antagonise and harass them because they already don't like them.

Second and finally that wasn't your "past posts", that happened a few hours ago.

I think it is pretty similar to real life.

If some person writes shameful comments about you and it collects thousands of likes. It feels a lot worse than fighting against one person.

In real life, if one person beats you up and multiple people laugh in the background.

Quote from chounim

Please just yesterday someone literally sifted through Tic_tac_toe's posts just to find receipts of Tic being allegedly hateful and toxic and put them on the spot. The receipts were mostly ridiculous and were just Tic RESPONDING to others and never starting shit herself or targeting any one (group or fandom) but that poster still framed them in a malicious way and got pats on the back from their friends.

Forget about the content of the receipts, but the mere action of going through someone's posts deliberately just to find something to use against them is creepy as hell and made me feel uncomfortable on behalf of Tic. I mean, it's not like this was about threads she made specifically to drag a group or a fandom, that would be understandable. But this was about several posts from several random threads.

Its always the same people and looks like their next target is Tic..

Quote from tetetete

i feel like both the situations are about consent?

Unless someone is going to (finally) show me receipts of the drama taglist being used to gang up on someone then I don't see how that's the same as going through someone's posts to find ammo to antagonise and attack them.

This is a public forum, calling people (who consented to be in the drama taglist) to come and read a thread you find interesting is nothing special, let alone harmful. I'm a member of the taglist, admittedly I don't always open the threads I'm tagged in, but in all the times I did the people that plugged the taglist weren't part of the drama, they were bystanders, which means they didn't call the taglist to come back them up and gang up on the opposite side, they called the taglist to come and watch the thread and then it fell on each individual whether they wanted to participate or not and anything they said should have only represented them personally and not the taglist. We are not a monolith, Heck I only know like 3 or 4 people in the taglist. The only thing we have in common is we don't want to miss the drama that happens in the forum (which is already public and open for everyone to see)

How is that the same as stalking someone and nitpicking their posts and pulling them out of context and then exposing them in front of your faves who would then proceed to drag and harass them?

Quote from elirvs

Its always the same people and looks like their next target is Tic..

I would fucking throw hands this time

Quote from Ves

I have never said I am not biased, but I am honestly not trying to be. I think you might do well to examine your own bias where I am involved. I do feel you tend to read the worst into my words and you've admitted you think I'm too biased to realize how biased I am. Which basically means you think my words are tainted no matter what I say, so that's that. I can't help how you feel there.

As for stalking - if you feel whatever happened is tantamount to stalking, I urge you to report it to the mods. That is harassment and should not be tolerated, but taking screenshots of public posts, especially when used in public debate, does not make a case for stalking. Just like you bringing up what happened in another thread to use against me here does not mean you are stalking me.

As for solutions, I was trying to figure out a way to move that thread forward. It didn't work. Oh well.

Honestly Ves, I think this is the first time I confront you about something or call you biased so it seems to me like you're exaggerating in the way you're making it sound like we have a history of some sort. I'm not "targeting" you because of who YOU ARE, I just genuinely think your suggested solution is a bit insensitive.