Men of allkpop

Did you ever go through a phase of discovering that it's okay to let go of traditional, conventional, often toxic standards of masculinity? If so, what helped you?

I think seeing positive representation of men in both western music and K-pop expressing their emotions and themselves musically and visually has really helped with that. Honestly, it's very liberating to remember you don't have to adhere to those standards. Sadly, some men out there would rather self-destruct and make life harder for themselves if it means they're seen as more of a man by other men.

Here's a great TED Talk of how Adam Driver found his purpose through theater arts and acting after life in the Marines. What he said here has stuck me with me over the years.

Quote from omnimorphism

Last year I realized toxic masculinity was one of the worst things for my mental health. Not being able to express myself because men can't have feelings and not being able to enjoy what I enjoy because it isn't deemed manly enough really take a toll.

The counterproductive reminders add up over time.

"Don't cry because men don't cry."

"Stop wearing skinny jeans because they're for girls."

"Why are you listening to girly music?"

There should be no shame in appreciating cute puppies and kittens, but even that is perceived as a feminine trait that men should avoid.

I believe that, for me and many other men, life is more fulfilling when there is a balance of both "softer" activities and the "harder" ones. I enjoy combat sports, lifting weights, and the outdoors, but I also love skincare, fashion, videos of cute pets, and expressing my feelings. We can have a bit of both, you know? If some males don't find some traditionally masculine activities enjoyable, that is fine, too.

Quote from citron-icy

it has always existed ...

I know it has. Even as far back as Prince and David Bowie, there have been examples of men in entertainment who expressed themselves differently from conventional masculinity. I'm just speaking from my own perspective, reminiscing on when I myself started appreciating these displays of alternative masculinity even though it has always existed. There are still lots of men today who reject such representation.