when do you know its time to cut off someone?

When you start choosing them (in any form or fashion) over your own mental health.

If they blame you for smth you didn't do

lots of reasons, but a major one for me is when i notice they're taking advantage of me.

Quote from zuzuhhaa

like that one friend that moved in with you.

yes, she still owes me hella money but idec anymore

well the simple answer is

if you have the ask the question then you probably know the answer already which is CUT THEM OFF NOW!!!

for good friends that question will never even arise...

long answer: I guess it depends on the context...

when they start to take advantage of your good kind

I think when they've repeatedly hurt or disrespected me and possibly others, and don't show any signs of change...

I form bonds with people having in mind that I won't change them, that I don't take responsabilities for how they act or how they feel and If I'm making a choice to keep them in my life, then I have to accept how they are and the decisions they will do.

The thing is, the choice of keeping them in my life will depend on how I've had my boundaries crossed. Because, the same way I respect them for who they are, I expect the same energy towards me. When I feel It doesn't happen, when I feel their being, their actions and decisions are affecting me directly, making me feel uncomfortable and bad, It's time to leave and let them be themselves to someone else.

Quote from zuzuhhaa

how much???

like over $600 maybe. it's been a while so i forgot exactly how much.

i also gave her a huge discount on rent, so realistically i should have gotten more out of her, but i was nice. i didn't even expect compensation on all my food she ate.

Quote from zuzuhhaa

yes, i definitely think this is a big one. having to throw away your self respect for them is not worth the sacrifice.

I think like in general when someone does something harmful and just... doesn't show remorse and keeps doing it... they might apologize and that apology rings hollow because they can and do keep doing it... at some point you have to walk away. You aren't a doormat and shouldn't have to deal with shitty behavior. That's like... not what happens in a healthy relationship...

For me it's when I'm the only one reaching out to them or just disturbing my peace in any form

Quote from Lizzinx

when they lie about stuff or ME and take advanage of your cookies or stuff like that and more stuff reasons and WORSE use you for buying cookies or just use you

who hurt you and your cookies???

and I have to use this phrase here even though it doesn't really make sense since I said to russianvelvet that I would

Quote from zuzuhhaa

bro 600 is not even that much for all of the trouble she probably put you through. you let her off easy omg

i'm more upset that she had 2 of my ex's CDs (he used to be a musician when we were in HS/college) in her car when i cut her off. they had a lot of sentimental value to me. i was so upset with her that i didn't try to get them back and i regret that.

Quote from selfmate

who hurt you and your cookies???

and I have to use this phrase here even though it doesn't really make sense since I said to russianvelvet that I would

Display Spoiler

and that's the way the cookie crumbles I guess

THE METAPHOR WORKDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quote from zuzuhhaa

why did she have his CDs???

the cord to connect her phone to her car broke, so she could only play CDs. so i was letting her borrow some CDs i had (i only had old ones). he actually made really good music, so she was listening to those 2 CDs at the time.

When someone is being a snake or their whole personality is fake af, that's when I cut that bitch off

Quote from Sweet-Spice

SNIP SNIP

Quote from zuzuhhaa

spice and city are lowkey scary but ok

@Sweet-Spice maybe it's an INTP/ENTP thing

Quote from Yunathehomegirl

When someone is being a snake or their whole personality is fake af, that's when I cut that bitch off

When their problems become so much that you get overwhelmed by it.

There are some people who confide in their friends and dump all their problems and always are looking for their support or advice. And even this can cross a line when it gets to be too much. You can get burnt out trying to help a friend when they come to you more than you can handle.

I had a friend who was dealing with a lot and I tried really hard to be there for her for everything but I ended up starting to have problems myself because of it. It got to a point where it started to become draining and it almost seemed like our hangout and interaction time just became full of her problems. It was just starting to get too overwhelming for me.

I'm not saying that people can't confide in/rant to/look for support from me or anything but be wary of how much you let it bleed into others' lives.

Lots of good advice already in this thread.

I think Selfmate is right that if you have to ask the question, you know the answer.

I can't control what other people do but I can control how I let it affect me and not give them that control over me, so if I find dealing with that person is stressful, annoying, hurtful, whatever, they gotta go.

I don't trust easily so I tend to have my guard up.

Lots of reasons but the biggest ones for me involve a lot of the same things:

- If they are intentionally hurtful (we all get hurt feelings sometimes in a relationship, but if a person is intentionally trying to hurt your feelings, they gotta go. This won't get better, trust me.)

- People who aren't accountable for their actions (we all fuck up from time to time but if the person keeps doing hurtful, mean or inconsiderate things without owning what they did instead of acting like "oh I don't know why you were upset" or "this was happening in my life and is why". )

- "I know you think that but that's not what I meant.." instead of just admitting what they did or that they were shitty is the fastest way to the cutoff, particularly if it's completely clear to me and many people that's exactly what you fucking meant. I'm not going to be gaslit behind someone's shitty behavior. This goes back to being accountable.

- Maybe this is my ENTJ coming out, but I'm a problem solver by nature, so someone coming to me with the same problem and doing the same thing may eventually be cut off. That's exhausting to be there for you when you're really distraught and breaking up with your bf, then you get back together, then you break up, then you...there's a point I just don't want to hear you crying about it anymore if you're not actually trying to solve it (particularly in very toxic relationships).

- People who are inconsiderate (i.e. always late, blowing off get-togethers, whatever - this says to me: "Idgaf about your time, which is clearly not as important as mine.")