What is sth a member of your family doe regularly that irritates the fudge out of you?

lol, I was literally venting to a friend about this yesterday.

My parents (but especially my mom) talk around the thing that they want. So my mom might go "Wouldn't it be nice if I tried out this new craft?" when what she REALLY means is, "We should try out this new craft together this Saturday."

It's so annoying, because if I respond to what she says at face value, then I can tell that I've disappointed her. (e.g. later, my dad might text me to ask if I'm coming over on the weekend.) But if I respond to what she's pretending not to say, then she gets upset that I'm suggesting she's saying something with a hidden meaning or she gets upset when I guess wrong, so it's a no-win situation.

It kind of reminds me of a post I saw once that basically said, "pretending not to have preferences is not low maintenance, it's shifting all the burden of making decisions onto everyone else" and that would be my mom. For mother's day, she asked me what I wanted for breakfast, and I said, "it's literally mother's day, what do YOU want for breakfast?" and she said she had no preference, and then when I suggested pancakes, she pouted because she wanted quiche.

I could flip a table.

Once I realized it was this that annoyed me so much in particular, I've tried really hard to not do it to other people. It might come across as too forthright or whatever, but at least you and I both know what conversation we're having.

Sadly, there's hardly any family left apart from my sister and I don't have contact with her anymore.

I couldn't really think of anything lol.

It would be petty to complain about my nieces and nephews

Quote from centen

It's so annoying, because if I respond to what she says at face value, then I can tell that I've disappointed her. (e.g. later, my dad might text me to ask if I'm coming over on the weekend.) But if I respond to what she's pretending not to say, then she gets upset that I'm suggesting she's saying something with a hidden meaning or she gets upset when I guess wrong, so it's a no-win situation.

It kind of reminds me of a post I saw once that basically said, "pretending not to have preferences is not low maintenance, it's shifting all the burden of making decisions onto everyone else" and that would be my mom. For mother's day, she asked me what I wanted for breakfast, and I said, "it's literally mother's day, what do YOU want for breakfast?" and she said she had no preference, and then when I suggested pancakes, she pouted because she wanted quiche.

this passive aggressive shit drives me INSANE. i recently visited my family for the first time in a couple of years and one morning my dad asked me twice if i was hungry. i wasn't, so i said no. but that apparently wasn't the correct answer, later he was giving me attitude because he had been hungry and wanted to eat, but didn't because i said i wasn't. so instead of being an adult and just getting breakfast, it was my fault he hadn't eaten anything

and then they wonder why i never come home

Quote from babybat

this passive aggressive shit drives me INSANE. i recently visited my family for the first time in a couple of years and one morning my dad asked me twice if i was hungry. i wasn't, so i said no. but that apparently wasn't the correct answer, later he was giving me attitude because he had been hungry and wanted to eat, but didn't because i said i wasn't. so instead of being an adult and just getting breakfast, it was my fault he hadn't eaten anything

and then they wonder why i never come home

Right?! It makes me have to be in the right mood to respond to them, because it's so hard to know if something is an actual conversation or if it's a trap.

Reflecting back, this is probably why my mom was so sure when I was a kid that I wasn't saying what was on my mind. She'd ask "what's wrong" until the thing that was wrong was her hassling me about there being something wrong. It has to be difficult to go through life, certain that no one is actually saying what they mean.

Quote from centen

Right?! It makes me have to be in the right mood to respond to them, because it's so hard to know if something is an actual conversation or if it's a trap.

Reflecting back, this is probably why my mom was so sure when I was a kid that I wasn't saying what was on my mind. She'd ask "what's wrong" until the thing that was wrong was her hassling me about there being something wrong. It has to be difficult to go through life, certain that no one is actually saying what they mean.

fr! why can't any of these people just be honest!!

going into the bathroom to get something when i'm using it and then leaving the door open. if you're not going to put locks on any door, including the bathroom and my parents is the only one that has one don't. come. in. or. i. murder. you.

also when they move stuff in my room. i don't care if you think it's messy, when it's organized i don't know where anything is and it ruins my day.

My grandma has psoriasis literally everywhere where you can imagine hair to grow

And she constantly complains about how itchy it is on some parts you would like to not hear anything about

And she gives a fuck and scratches her V in front of her entire family and when you complain about it she says "Who cares, there is nobody whos watching" as if it wouldn't matter that the entire family can see that

Bruh I wonder how they handle the shit since she is in a retirement home

Quote from JiminieKookie

My grandma has psoriasis literally everywhere where you can imagine hair to grow

And she constantly complains about how itchy it is on some parts you would like to not hear anything about

And she gives a fuck and scratches her V in front of her entire family and when you complain about it she says "Who cares, there is nobody whos watching" as if it wouldn't matter that the entire family can see that

Bruh I wonder how they handle the shit since she is in a retirement home

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I feel compelled to respond to with the uWu emoji, since that legit sucks. (I hate that too. I can see you, and I'm somebody!)

But you have a way of telling things that makes it funny. It's a pretty endearing trait of yours.

borrow my clothes, jewelry and iPhone charger.....and KEEP IT SO LONG.......

That i have to BORROW IT BACK!!!

They aren't great at expressing themselves. If they ever get irritated at even the tiniest thing they don't bother to properly communicate it nicely. They rather scold you and make you feel like shit.

I think they do this because they can't process their negativity well and maybe being mean and not actually talking through things helps them get out their anger. Like a verbal punching bag of sorts.

Probably where my angst and other anxieties stem from.

I'm not even saying this like MY PARENTS dOnT uNdErStaNd Me I hAtE tHeM. Because I don't. But I don't like being made to feel like shit. To not at least get my side heard. I think maybe since they are older, perhaps their generation is just like that you know? That maybe you can be mean to your kids because that makes them respect you, but the reality is that makes them more anxious and closed off. I don't know how to talk about myself sometimes or how to open up and definitely how I was raised has something to do with it.

Fake politeness and "we are here for each other" narrative (which is true only when it suits them )