If accusers want an apology from the idols who were accused of bullying.....

Quote from icyruios

1. The funny thing is that I think the company wants to meet up and settle this privately, but the accusers don't want to.

2. There is an incentive to apologise, because like I mentioned, if they didn't then that is when you decide to blow shit up. You don't need to blow shit up if you sincerely want an apology. The apology should be made TO YOU, not TO THE PUBLIC and be like "I'm sorry I have ruined your image of me being a perfect idol" rubbish. They do not need to apologise to anyone but the accuser that is if the rumors are true.

The whole idea of making things big to me is because they don't actually care about the apology, they just want to stir shit. If they care about the apology, and that the apology is to be sincere made only TO YOU because YOU ARE THE VICTIM, not make the headlines.

If settling in private doesn't work and you don't get your apology, then by all means go fk shit up.

3. If the idol really is in the wrong the company won't make shit up to the media because if they do so the accuser will then continue to stir shit. You think companies want the scandal to hit the news and tell the media about it? They will try to bury it as much as they can why would they still approach media and make things worse for them they literally want this shit buried.

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1. Are we talking about something specific or just generally here? but in general I can kinda see why they would refuse to meet privately. If the accusations are fake, if they have little proof, or they could just be scared. Nothing can make you afraid more than going by yourself to a big company trying to make the scandal you've created (and you) go away. The company may say they want to settle it privately, but the accuser (and us) don't know what they will say or what will happen during that meeting. The fear of going to something as serious as a large company may keep them hiding, after all, if this person went to school with Soojin (I'm assuming from the wanting to meet thing your referring to her) then they must be max 22 and they may be easily intimidated, especially considering this is the scandal with the most attention right now due to that actress being involved.

2. But again, that may be so, but if the company says, 'we met with this person, they have no evidence, Soojin said she barely had any contact with this person, her friends barely remember this person, its a big school, and kinda random we already met with this person and now they are trying to start all kind of rumours AFTER we investigated thier claims privately and found nothing' then what does it seem like to the public? For them they may try and reveal this info afterwards but they already lost public sympathy and interest. They will just look like an anti who is trying to start something, and all the fans (and likely the public too) will say sue this person for their nonsense (and considering you can sue even if its true thats a risk).

Sure I agree it doesn't exactly seem like alot of these people really want an apology, they may also want revenge. But these companies are messed up and have entire media teams working for them (though it barely seems like it most of the time), with huge amounts of money and huge amounts of money invested in these idols having squeaky clean images and that can push them to do some bad things. If they treat thier own idols with the power of huge fanbases like crap what makes you think they will treat a threat to all that money they are making any better? What makes you think they will actually allow Soojin to meet with them and give them an apology? Didn't we hear a couple days ago about a company threatening the people who went to school with that Actor in New Zealand to keep thier mouths shut?

Sure there are instances where they have pre-meditated these things (wasn't the whole Taeyong thing already done before it broke since he met with and apologise to the actual girl and made friends long before someone tried to make it a thing?) but thats not exactly normal since it means they will have to admit to thier past and most companies just want to deny it instead. Not to mention I swear Taeyongs apology was done by his own initiative not at the behest of the company. Likely if SM had thier way they would pay them off or ignore it.

3. True, but by then its a war of words and credibility. If just 1 person came forward then the company says they've already investigated it and said its false who is going to believe this person no matter what they do or say? especially if no-one else joins them in the claims and the company manages to get friends to defend the idol. By then they will have lost credibility (especially if public sympathy is with that idol) and they will just be waiting to get sued.

Also how do you have so much faith in these companies to not lie? and CUBE of all the companies? Or am I the only one who remembers when CUBE denied Hyuna and Dawn were dating then had to backtrack when they came out? Then there was a whole mess about them kicking her out, then back tracking, then discussions till the contract was finally terminated. Realistically these companies have been caught lying, from big ones like with BAP to smaller continuous ones like with BLackpink's comebacks. Companies have even lied about thier artists getting DUI's and it wasn't until the video came forward that they had to admit it. If they don't think they will get caught, they will say anything and realistically if its thier biggest money maker they will do anything to protect it.

Quote from kwafe

It doesn't always work out. Hyorin's victim tried to contact her privately for a long time but was ignored. Hyorin only responded when the victim made it public.

OMG I forgot about that one.

I can't see someone I hate

School bullying is a systematic issue and reading up on any of these scandals, you'd hear real accounts of Koreans saying how difficult it is to hold the assailant accountable. It is extremely difficult to prove bullying, that's why it's always a "he said she said" situation.

Trauma is real and now that there's such a huge focus on the volleyball siblings bullying surfacing and them seeing real punishments, it's encouraging victims to speak out so they can resolve their trauma too.

Some people take years to confront their assailants and it's ok.

Besides, it's not just a simple confrontation of victim vs bully when it comes to high profile celebs. They have a company and legions of fans. Of course, alleged victims would seek out more support in the form of public support to reduce risk of backlash on them.

And frankly, if the idol is a bully, they deserve it.

Quote from icyruios

You mean Hyolyn's 'accuser' because they already settled it and there was no conclusion to whether she was a bully or not.

When Hyolyn threatened to sue the accuser, she started to get defensive and that backfired because for some reason Hyolyn defending against allegations by suing is a woman being a bitch according to Koreans. Hyolyn then wanted to settle it in private instead of suing, and they came to a proper conclusion that was not made known to the public

It's pretty obvious when you can't even say I did not bully and then you have to pay off the victim. Hyorin's action is extremely shady.

i mean how will these 'commoners' contact an idol? They send an email to the company which will delete it with others emails like fans petitioning more lines for that tone deaf member who cant even sing in tune during their 1 sec line... only realistic way to get in talk with the idol is going public cause the company nor the idol dont care until the shit hit their reputation

Quote from finana

i mean how will these 'commoners' contact an idol?

They're not commoners, they're former schoolmates. Schoolmates of 10 years ago, not 50. By going from one person to another, it might be possible to get contact information. When I was 22, I had a clear memory of most of my middle school classmates.

Plus, what about vlive? You have a former classmate who's now a celebrity and who happens to go livestream from time to time? Go to chatroom and introduce yourself as her fellow classmate. See what happens.

You say "nah the idol doesn't care". How can you say for sure? How can anyone say for sure without even trying? Again, we talkin of former classmates here, not internet randos. Right before Covid, a former classmate of 20+ years go reconnected with me. These things happen, its nothing never seen before.

Some of them do it for attention

Quote from Alex_Murphy

They're not commoners, they're former schoolmates. Schoolmates of 10 years ago, not 50. By going from one person to another, it might be possible to get contact information. When I was 22, I had a clear memory of most of my middle school classmates.

Plus, what about vlive? You have a former classmate who's now a celebrity and who happens to go livestream from time to time? Go to chatroom and introduce yourself as her fellow classmate. See what happens.

You say "nah the idol doesn't care". How can you say for sure? How can anyone say for sure without even trying? Again, we talkin of former classmates here, not internet randos. Right before Covid, a former classmate of 20+ years go reconnected with me. These things happen, its nothing never seen before.

First for all why should i have to do that much of work to get contact with my abuser aka bully?

Vlive? Girl there are hundreds of messages just like in the company email box

And last. THEY DONT CARE. If they cared they wouldnt be in this situation at the first place. Victims go after their bullies cause there wasnt closure there was no apology. If the bully cared, they would have apologies a long time ago. Well they wouldnt bully at the first place if they cared... they are only sorry cause they got caught and its their time to pay the price

Quote from finana

And last. THEY DONT CARE. If they cared they wouldnt be in this situation at the first place.

You assume people don't change. Which tells me you must be very young because I can assure you you probably won't be the very same person 10 years from now, especially if the 10 year period goes from pre-teen to adult.

If you're out for an apology, then you should proceed in a way that your bully is in position to give you a honest apology. It might require a little extra work, yes. If you don't and make it a public affair, things are gonna turn into a shitshow and devolves into PR control, which probably won't be the honest and sincere apology you expected.

Therefore if you know this beforehand and goes public with it nonetheless, it means you weren't looking for a honest apology to begin with. You are just out for blood. So you are no better than the one you accuse.

Roughly, that's my stance.

They generally don't want an apologize they want vengeance

1) its difficult to reach the celeb. Eg already contact but no response/ ignored?

2) they don't want to meet the bully face to face (tbh i understand this because i don't want to see someone i hate the most who ruined my life tf) and want an official public apology

3) want to get revenge. "my life is ruined because of you, so this is karma"

Quote from dancingaurora

1) its difficult to reach the celeb. Eg already contact but no response/ ignored?

2) they don't want to meet the bully face to face (tbh i understand this because i don't want to see someone i hate the most who ruined my life tf) and want an official public apology

3) want to get revenge. "my life is ruined because of you, so this is karma"

revenge is scary :eek:

Quote from Alex_Murphy

You assume people don't change. Which tells me you must be very young because I can assure you you probably won't be the very same person 10 years from now, especially if the 10 year period goes from pre-teen to adult.

If you're out for an apology, then you should proceed in a way that your bully is in position to give you a honest apology. It might require a little extra work, yes. If you don't and make it a public affair, things are gonna turn into a shitshow and devolves into PR control, which probably won't be the honest and sincere apology you expected.

Therefore if you know this beforehand and goes public with it nonetheless, it means you weren't looking for a honest apology to begin with. You are just out for blood. So you are no better than the one you accuse.

Roughly, that's my stance.

so what if bully changed? Shouldnt them be the one to reach out the victims and seek forgiveness? If they cared they wouldnt be called out. They had time to make it right but no. They desided to enjoy their lives and left victims to battle with all kind of mental and social problems, sometimes for the rest of their lives meanwhile the bullies have the time and dreams of their lives. Wheter the victims want genius apology or just revenge i dont care. If you are ready to bully you are ready to carry the consequences no matter how much you have changed.

Quote from finana

so what if bully changed? Shouldnt them be the one to reach out the victims and seek forgiveness? If they cared they wouldnt be called out. They had time to make it right but no. They desided to enjoy their lives and left victims to battle with all kind of mental and social problems, sometimes for the rest of their lives meanwhile the bullies have the time and dreams of their lives. Wheter the victims want genius apology or just revenge i dont care. If you are ready to bully you are ready to carry the consequences no matter how much you have changed.

You are sound so immature.

"People don't change. Revenge is ok. blah blah " Heard that a 100 times already. Thanks for passing by.

lol at people thinking idols or their agencies are going to respond to a DM/text/letter from someone accusing them of bullying and demanding an apology.

Quote from icyruios

Then shouldn't they discuss it privately? It's weird when people don't even want to "meet the idols to discuss".

Even for Mina's bullying scandal, Jimin did went to confront and clear things up but that exploded into a shitshow, but at least both sides were willing to meet each other to ACTUALLY SORT THINGS OUT. Eventually it was true and Jimin retired from the industry.

Or if someone owes me money I will try to confront and settle with that son of a bitch. Only if things fail then I will air the shit and let the whole world know what a terrible bitch that person is. The first step would be to at least settle it in private before making things big.

But when the accuser don't even want to meet and settle things, and decide to air all their dirty shit on the internet, it just makes me feel that they aren't actually wanting an apology, they just want to watch things I-BURN.

I mean I don't know how shit works in SK but still.....

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Well it’s hard to settle things privately if the bully is an idol and the victim is a normal person. They probably don’t even know how to get into contact with their attacker. Thus they use social media as a platform in order to gain that Idol’s attention because there’s just no other way to.

And with the Mina and Jimin thing, it’s different because they were in the same group. So Jimin could easily just go to Mina’s house. But if your bully is someone from middle school, who’s now famous, and you’re both in your 20s, I’d picture that it’d be much harder to get in touch.

Quote from atropos

Nothing comes out of it. The victims want to expose the bully's bad behavior to the whole world. The bully's true nature will be out infront of everyone. The hurt and destruction the victim went through the bully will now feel a part of it. U can't just always privately meet and resolve everything. And why will i want to meet my bully to resolve anything? U think they'll ever apologize? They feel sorry? They don't.

yeah most people change within a decade but ok

what a delusional and utopian world that you guys live in