Double standards

    He is unprofessional but if this is true people forget that this is basically a toxic relationship.

    If this was a woman and the other way around, people would drag the guy to the moon but now he is just unprofessional since he is a man. Of course, I would say that he definitely has to apologize to everyone but this is definitely a double standard. Toxic relationships can happen so fast and to almost anyone. He does not look healthy at all in his pictures and behavior. I am not even a fan of him or have watched anything with him, the reaction is just very shocking. I know some friends who have been in toxic relationships but people literally laughed at them when they confessed their problems since they should be “manly” or the dominant one in the relationship.


    Nevertheless, he made the life of the staff and other actors a living hell and Seo Yeji has to had iljin rumors since 2014.


    DISCLAIMER: this is based on the dispatch article and the other posts by staffs - there was no post by him or seo yeji - the thread might be edited or deleted once there is more info


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    Quote from nityasingh

    I completely understand your point. Being the culprit of a toxic relationship, I do know how things go. The manipulation is extreme where logic fails to meet and the person can reach heights for their other half.

    Exactly, not to shield him but he literally took a long break and everyone said it was a problem involving his gf. I feel sympathy for all the staff and people who had to work under such conditions but if everything is true, he should not be the one faced with all the anger. His ex seo yeji seems not very stable and very very controlling.

    I agree. If this was other wat round ppl would be worrying about the actress too since he is male, I saw comments saying he is a grown-up he should know how to act around people and not listen to what his gf says, but if you see the texts, if they are real, it's clear that who has the upper hand in the relationship. Who even asks to report how your day went. The guy took break after the drama, clearly says he was effected mentally and got manipulated.

    He is still responsible for his actions, so I hope he already apologized or will do it in the future for the drama staff and his co star.

    Quote from Anon813

    I agree. If this was other wat round ppl would be worrying about the actress too since he is male, I saw comments saying he is a grown-up he should know how to act around people and not listen to what his gf says, but if you see the texts, if they are real, it's clear that who has the upper hand in the relationship. Who even asks to report how your day went. The guy took break after the drama, clearly says he was effected mentally and got manipulated.

    He is still responsible for his actions, so I hope he already apologized or will do it in the future for the drama staff and his co star.

    Exactly, but this whole controversy seems so weird. His former agency is acting so petty and now with Dispatch’s involvement this whole controversy might change in a few hours

    women can be abusers and men can be victims, this really needs to be understood


    it can be extremely difficult to get out of a controlling relationship

    Mental health shouldn't be an excuse to treat others like shit. That's a dangerous stereotype that has been plaguing MI for the longest time.

    But i agree that were the roles reversed, many more people would be sympathetic. If the text messages are real then this guy was the victim of a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship and I hope he's in a better place now. I also think apologising to the people he hurt during that time should be part of his healing process.

    I don't like how we (in general) dismiss a toxic relationship as he weak/she funny when the abuser is a woman. We need to understand the gravity is the same, literally the same as in the common case (woman being abused) it's literally abuse, toxic, humiliation and it creates a chaos in the abused head.

    Sure he should apologize for his actions, but we shouldn't be judging him so hard when he was clearly going through a lot.

    And i don't like how his company is behind of all this just bc he was already looking for others options to keep his career. His company is trash.

    Quote from chounim

    Mental health shouldn't be an excuse to treat others like shit. That's a dangerous stereotype that has been plaguing MI for the longest time.

    But i agree that were the roles reversed, many more people would be sympathetic. If the text messages are real then this guy was the victim of a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship and I hope he's in a better place now. I also think apologising to the people he hurt during that time should be part of his healing process.

    Mental health should not mean a free ride, I agree with you

    Sure, maybe the guy was being controlled to be an ass by his girlfriend. But, didn't he also go on to be in a very successful drama after acting so unprofessional anyways? It doesn't seem like he faced repercussions from it. Just because he is exposed now, doesn't mean it isn't deserved also. He basically got away with being an ass to someone who didn't deserve to be treated like that and causing a huge problem for his coworkers. Has he even apologized?

    Quote from Anon813

    I agree. If this was other wat round ppl would be worrying about the actress too since he is male, I saw comments saying he is a grown-up he should know how to act around people and not listen to what his gf says, but if you see the texts, if they are real, it's clear that who has the upper hand in the relationship. Who even asks to report how your day went. The guy took break after the drama, clearly says he was effected mentally and got manipulated.

    He is still responsible for his actions, so I hope he already apologized or will do it in the future for the drama staff and his co star.

    Yup people's dissimisve attitude towards men being the victim of abuse is how when Johnny Depp was abused and the woman even cut his fucking finger off! Had he been a woman oh how the world would have dragged the abuser into the street and stoned them to death. But hes a man so its oh meh. Then you get all these trash people go omg why did this happen when someone comitts suicide, well you women dissniss their problems ( the majority of their fanbase target audience etc are female)

    Quote from workingclass

    Sure, maybe the guy was being controlled to be an ass by his girlfriend. But, didn't he also go on to be in a very successful drama after acting so unprofessional anyways? It doesn't seem like he faced repercussions from it. Just because he is exposed now, doesn't mean it isn't deserved also. He basically got away with being an ass to someone who didn't deserve to be treated like that and causing a huge problem for his coworkers. Has he even apologized?

    He had a break of 11 months so one can assume with current facts that he had mental health problems. If all the text messages were right, he was in a toxic relationship and was not an asshole because he wanted to be one. Of course, one should not be like this but I had a friend who was so shitty to me due to his girlfriend and after witnessing what she has done to him (beating him up etc.) I realized that he wasn’t mentally alright. I am also of the opinion that he should definitely apologize.


    Also keep in mind that there are a lot of question left unsolved and this scandal could take a turn fast

    So apparently he talked normal with Seohyun as seen in this BTS

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    I have too many question tbh

    Quote from kazuyakamenashi

    Yup people's dissimisve attitude towards men being the victim of abuse is how when Johnny Depp was abused and the woman even cut his fucking finger off! Had he been a woman oh how the world would have dragged the abuser into the street and stoned them to death. But hes a man so its oh meh. Then you get all these trash people go omg why did this happen when someone comitts suicide, well you women dissniss their problems ( the majority of their fanbase target audience etc are female)

    Agreed I hope ppl will start treated a victim of abuses relationship as victim instead of focusing on their genders.

    Quote from omegateatimer

    Exactly, i hate the whole “he is a man” narrative while seo yeji gets less hate (or rather criticism) them him

    I read he took break from the filming for some months and got backs with some good dramas. if the texts are real then imagine the mental pressure and stress on him, he is just trying to make life happen again and these ppl are criticizing because according to their stereotypes he should be strong.

    Quote from Anon813

    I read he took break from the filming for some months and got backs with some good dramas. if the texts are real then imagine the mental pressure and stress on him, he is just trying to make life happen again and these ppl are criticizing because according to their stereotypes he should be strong.

    I feel there is more to this story than what has been released. I hope he comes forward with his experience and it doesn’t turn into a Go Hyesun and Ahn Jaehyun situation

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    Quote from chounim

    Mental health shouldn't be an excuse to treat others like shit. That's a dangerous stereotype that has been plaguing MI for the longest time.

    But i agree that were the roles reversed, many more people would be sympathetic. If the text messages are real then this guy was the victim of a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship and I hope he's in a better place now. I also think apologising to the people he hurt during that time should be part of his healing process.

    Omg fking say it louder for the people at the back the people at the front the people at the side.


    I fking hate it whenever people get into scandals (not just idols but anyone in general), the thing that they WILL DEFINITELY DO is to say how their "mental health is not in the best state" or "I was in a dark place" bullshit like shut the fking crap. Stop trying to use mental health as a shield for your shitty ass attitude.


    I'm not trying to downplay their mental health, because yes they might really be going through a rough time, but using the mental health issue as a getaway card is just fking ridiculous. You don't get to wave that magic mental health card everytime you do something stupid. It just downplays the real severity of mental health, and make light of real mental health issues that other people are facing.

    I agree that mental health doesn't excuse his unprofessionalism, even though based on the revealed text he allegedly was in a toxic relationship. I heard that he didn't apologize to Seohyun in his public letter but i really hope he did so at least privately as part of his healing process. Afterall Seohyun and the crew are victims too and they also deserve to get apology.

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