Is it still possible to be a happy Kpop fan?

The only way of truly enjoying kpop without having a breakdown every week is to move away from fan culture

Which is a bit counterintuitive because sense of community is very likely what makes fandoms so active and engaged

I'd say Kpop fans deep down live in perpetual state of "doom and gloom"

I believe a Big 5 analysis will have kpop fans in average score extremely high in neuroticism, mid to low in agreeableness and low in extraversion. Literally the worst people in the world to interact with, but the only ones who shares your hobby so there you have...

I stay in my own KPOP bubble and only interact selectively. Responsible KPOP consumption!!

I've only been listening to K-pop for 18 months (and I'm much older). I love the music genre and wanted to participate with other fans, but I had no idea that it was essentially a competitive sport. While I do think the competition stimulates passion and makes interaction more fun (like AKP) there are definitely boundaries that are often crossed. At the end of the day you just have to realize that it's music man. It's not as important as your career, family, relationships, and your health. Stay away from places that make you feel uncomfortable or are harming you.

You need to filter out of the bullshit wars with solos and shippers. I don’t go on twitter to interact with the crybabies. All seven members are mistreated, just pick your fucking hour to go on twitter and there are a group of butthurt fans yelling about shit.

Let’s get real, all seven members will be in the military by the end of the year and hopefully enough of these assholes will move on to other groups to continue thinking their shit opinions matter

Yes

i'd say im very content with being a kpop fan rn

the trick is to not give a fuck about idols and just enjoy the music/videos that's 90% contribution from the hardworking creative people behind the scenes who are not trying to make parasocial bonds with you

as a bonus, you wont find yourself giving a fuck about the fans and fan culture either

This is going to sound harsh to start with but... it's a you problem

But not just YOU flowerteapetal , but YOU/US/ME as in kpop fans

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. Why do we, as fans of what is at the end of the day a silly, lighthearted, low stakes for of entertainment, upset as so much? Why do we make every aspect of it a competition, a dick measuring contest and a competitive sport? Why do some of us react with such zeal and delight when a group we don't like doesn't do well, and why do others let that behaviour get to them and take it personally? I've never seen anything like it in other fandoms I've been in, not to the same levels. Yeah as a comic reader I saw lots of Marvel vs DC stuff, but never to this extent. I don't see it in Sneaker collecting, I don't see Nike fans gloating that the new SB Dunk Drop "ended" Adidas, nor do I see "Adiheads" constantly calling out "Jordansters" constantly as if they are one monolithic entity.

But the reason I say it's a YOU/US/ME is because you/we choose to partake in this nonsense, you/we let it get to us, we take "attacks" on groups we like personally and for some reason feel duty bound to "defend and protect" them.

But do we have to? It's POP music. It's talented, beauitful people making cute, fun songs and content for our entertainment. It's not high stakes stuff and there is exactly no need to treat it as such. We don't need to fight over it, we dont need to "protect" the artists from trolls and dickheads, nor do we need to take their bait. Even on AKP, there are generally enough positive threads about whichever artist you like that you don't need to engage in the negativity, its a choice you make. I've realised theres nothing to actually be GAINED from constant fights and pissing contests. No one wins. No one comes off looking better. It's just a neverending spiral bringing everyone down and boosting nothing up.

You also don't need to be a source of negativity and hard feelings onto other fans, you don't need to perpetuate it. If you don't like how it feels seeing things you like attacked, have a thought how others might feel when you zealously attack what they like, and think if its something you NEED to do.

Does it actually make anyone HAPPY doing that?

And if it does, they might need to reflect on themselves a little. Why does constantly trolling, attacking, gloating and lording over the "failings" of other groups and fandoms make people happy? Theres posters here that do seem to get happiness being like that, making it a core of the persona, but I view them as genuinely bad people.

This forum has good people in all fandoms, ALL of them. There are good blinks, good armys, good onces, good tookis, midzys, mys etc. There are enough fun, well meaning threads that the only real reason to get involved in things that make you unhappy is you choose to.

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I been in a dark spot recently, mainly because I'm overworked as hell and the very little time off I have, I'm too exhausted to do anything but stay home, alone, and try and get enough rest to work again. One day weekends between 5 day runs of work. Too tired to see friends. I'm literally living to work and not much else. The other night I was particularly wrecked, couldn't even be fucked cooking dinner properly... so I literally decided to make pancakes and ice cream for dinner. While making them I put on my custom playlist which is basically Blackpink, Dreamcatcher, Itzy, RQ and a small smattering of others. Just generally bright, happy POP music. It got me thinking about my early days in kpop, how happy it made me feel. The songs gave me flashbacks to things like my trip to Seoul, the concerts I went to, seeing Dreamwatcher members close enough to almost touch them, the dumb goofy vlogs and shows they have and the memes that only make sense to fans of the group and even some of the dumb threads on here and other forums (I remembered having a chuckle about the "wife wars" with roses-are-rosie and others). It made me feel happy for the first time in a few weeks. It made me remember why I got into kpop...

I think it is possible

To me if I'm happy with releases and if SHINee is happy promoting, everything else is background noise

I guess, if you stay off social media and maybe even here and get away from the toxicity of dickheads and do your own thing and if the music groups are putting out are good enough.

Ofc the path to happiness is not care about what a random username on the internet says, like what you like.

The key is not take kpop too seriously. Btw, you can be happy being a troll too, you know?

Just listen to the music you like, then enjoy

Twitter is not a real place, so I suggest you refrain from taking things there seriously. It's not a place for reasoning, more so for clout. What you said will be counted as correct or accepted as a fact if it got enough likes or trending. Then the day is over, and begin the next just as the same.

It's really up to us, as in every consumers and fans, to make KPOP as enjoyable to newcomers or fans in general. But we failed that miserably. Shinhwa got me into KPOP with Brand New, and the shits I have seen and hear since then... It's the same nowadays except that thanks to technology, information whether real or not, get passed around much quicker.

I understand the feeling of wanting to protect your artists, because in some sense, you feel that the artist is a representation of who you are- or an association of what you think you are or just simply- "I don't want to see any harm on them". It's very frustrating to deal with those topics, especially if it was being dogpiled and you feel like your voice will never be heard through reasoning. But just remember that those people are a nobody to you as you are to them, don't let them ruin your day.

You go and enjoy what you like best. Stream any group, watch all the variety, like all the comebacks. Because at the end of the day, those toxicity and people are just a small footnote in your entire life.

Sorz for the essay; here's a panda:

Quote from flowerteapetal

I have listened casually to Kpop songs for a long time.

I decided to learn more about it and I watched a lot of variety shows. I loved so many groups and wanted to stan them all.

BTS quickly became my fave group, but I was buying albums of other groups as well and helped nugus with streaming etc.

I was a happy Kpop fan.

Then I made a mistake. I moved beyond youtube and my albums and started interacting with other fans.

Naively, I thought Kpop fans probably generally supported each other because all Kpop was niche then.

Yeah. You can imagine how my delulu self got a reality check.

I still support other groups than my faves, even if they are at some constant fanwar with my fandoms, but sometimes it feels like a minefield to just talk to someone from another fandom and ask for a nice song or something.

(NOTE: I am not blaming ANY fandoms here in particular, just Kpop or even stan culture in general).

So are there still people who happily walk in the clouds, enjoying Kpop without constantly being reminded of evil shit people say online?

PS. Twitter is the worst. Hope that Mr Musk runs destroys it even further so it disappears.

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I will probably get a lot of hate for this but, a lot of "fans" of kpop the ones that are so deep into the fandom where they need to be posting, streaming, buying, reading news, talkin g about their kpop groups all day are probably not even happy with themselves in the first place, that's why you get so much hate when you try to discuss and talkabout kpop with them, the obsessive fans are so unhappy with their own lives that they make kpop their lives now and it creates that delulu behavior they present, it's fine liking a group, it's fine listening to kpop i pretty much only listen to kpop when i listen to music, and i check allkpop everyone and then mostly daily but only for a couple minutes unless there is some interesting news happening, i can't imagine myself being so obsessed with kpop where i wouold spend all my life and money on kpop, sounds so unhealthy

Quote from flowerteapetal

Thank you, but I don't want to say ugly things about Kpop idols/groups

Your lost. And tbh, what a waste. Your faves are the ultimate group (in terms of money and popularity) You could shit in everybody else and you would always win.

Quote from flowerteapetal

I have listened casually to Kpop songs for a long time.

I decided to learn more about it and I watched a lot of variety shows. I loved so many groups and wanted to stan them all.

BTS quickly became my fave group, but I was buying albums of other groups as well and helped nugus with streaming etc.

I was a happy Kpop fan.

Then I made a mistake. I moved beyond youtube and my albums and started interacting with other fans.

Naively, I thought Kpop fans probably generally supported each other because all Kpop was niche then.

Yeah. You can imagine how my delulu self got a reality check.

I still support other groups than my faves, even if they are at some constant fanwar with my fandoms, but sometimes it feels like a minefield to just talk to someone from another fandom and ask for a nice song or something.

(NOTE: I am not blaming ANY fandoms here in particular, just Kpop or even stan culture in general).

So are there still people who happily walk in the clouds, enjoying Kpop without constantly being reminded of evil shit people say online?

PS. Twitter is the worst. Hope that Mr Musk runs destroys it even further so it disappears.

Display More

Hi, I love this question and don't think its hateful or blaming at all, but as a long time former BTS fan as well I totally understand you, the group has many charms and was my comfort in some of my most darkest times.

For me, although I always wanted to support nugu groups and small company idols, I actually disconnected a lot after deleting twitter and Instagram, I used to follow so many but know have a separate youtube account to follow idols on, and only follow a total of 24 (I like a lot of soloist/indie artists lol). I understand why its confusing, andd yes I would say twitter is the worst.

I had it in 2019 to 2021 and deleted it, and tried again in 2023 but had to delete it, the environment is just so toxic. So I got WeVerse instead (I tried it once when it was only BTS and TXT) and never signed up.

Maybe you might need to find something reasonable for you? I know for me it was my mental health and things in my life that caused me to step away. Now I never comment on anything or live streams (maybe on ONEWE's live streams and RM's but that's a bit it).

~~~~

I found that for me, I don't have to interact in the comments and watch JH or JK's live peacefully and know its okay to not catch every update. Once I deleted instagram I started using my phone more and rarely use it to.

I'm not sure if its just a path you have to discover or what your reasonings is, but I also listen to Kang Daniels song 'Mad' and 'Selfish' it makes me think a lot about people who hate without reason, and he kinda taught me (intentionally) to go at it my own pace, and the lyrics. 'it doesnt matter', 'I aint the one', 'your just hating, me I'm just chilling' makes me think of the community in general to and got me to think differently.

I'm sorry if my comment was long and wasn't helpful, but I think if we can pace ourselves and realize we can enjoy the hobby without focusing on what you are worried about. With streaming and voting, I used to be really obessed with it if I'm honestt now I only vote for certain groups like ZB1, ONEWE, Hui, etc.

We will all find a reasonable way to enjoy our hobby even if it takes some time. 💙