[instiz] BECAUSE MY WIFE IS PREGNANT, I SEE HER MORE LIKE A MOTHER THAN A WOMAN....

    This is a sublime feeling so I can't change it.. I have a s*x drive that's driving me crazy.
    The doctor said that I shouldn't worry about this (t/n: feeling like his wife is like a mother), and that it's rather a good thing, but I seriously don't have any [romantic] feelings for her left...
    Do you think it can become better after she gives birth??


    Ah but even my wife hates being pregnant. And I hate this too so how are we supposed to resolve this?
    I've asked people around and it felt flat.
    Are there any married men and women here?
    We're a 32 y'o and 29 y'o married couple. Are there other couples like us?


    original post: here


    1. This is why I'm never getting a kid

    2. Wow I don't know if it's normal or not to feel this way but if I was in the wife's position, I'd feel terrible
    > OP: Why would she feel terrible? It's not like I'm doing anything wrong (t/n: aka cheating)
    >> You guys got married because you love each other, of course there might be s*xual attraction, but you're saying you're not feeling anything towards her anymore? Of course she'd feel terrible
    >>> OP: But I can't really express this into words. I do worry for the kid. I just feel like a sublime feeling about her stomach being out
    >>>> ㅋ? No but women have this because their hormones change, what do men have a say in this? And you're saying that you have a crazy s*x drive, what's up with that? You're not feeling anything anymore so you're saying you're having a s*x drive because you're watching other people?


    3. I seriously hate this kind of person


    4. In the wife's position, I'd be so sad


    5. Just tell her honestly how you're feeling. My friend was in the opposite end and they talked honestly and were able to resolve the situation


    6. There are really all kinds of strange people out there. Yah screw off from this community. Your wife is currently struggling with her pregnancy, meanwhile the husband is there talking about his childish s*x driveㅋㅋ


    7. I think you need to go on therapy


    8. There are seriously lots of people who end up in situations like these, even if I get married, there's no way I get pregnantㅎㅎ


    9. What to doㅠㅠ The wife must be having a hard time too, haven't you even thought about overcoming this together?.....


    10. Wow I hate this... I don't think OP will be able to recover his feelings but you should at least be honest with her. Stop blaming this on her hormones. Even women hate to have their stomach out and gain weight

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    Why do women choose to procreate with such atrocious creatures?

    Like WHY????

    Explain to me?????? WHy? why would you think your life is better by having a child with someone like that?

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    Quote from dummi

    everyday my hatred of children and the nuclear family structure grows

    I just dont understand why women dont have a better standard of who will they procreate with?

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  • AllKill VIP
    Quote from Lulu_Key

    3. I seriously hate this kind of person


    4. In the wife's position, I'd be so sad

    agreed.

    whoever this douchebag is definitely only liked her because she was attractive

  • AllKill VIP

    An decrease in sexual attraction towards your spouse during pregnancy is normal and can go both ways. According to studies, men who experience that often fear the safety of the unborn baby or it’s the rapid change in aesthetics that is causing this. Also worries about the future and if they are going to be a good father can cause decreasing sexual attraction towards their wifes. This doesn’t mean they love them less.


    Also a lot of women have a decreased sex drive during pregnancy, which leads them to often reject their partners if they want to initiate sex, as a result the women becomes less sexually available and this leads to an decrease in the mens sexual attraction towards their wife. It’s often a psychological reason that is caused by different factors. This feelings often go away after the pregnancy. Talking to your partner helps in such a situation.


    It’s really just a temporary thing and happens in many relationships.


    Nothing bad happens here, it’s just a matter of education and understanding of these issues.


    Before anyone jumps on me… my mother is a family counselor and had many couples in such situations. That’s why I also know that this is quite common thing in relationships but it often goes away after a while. Communication is the key.

  • AllKill VIP
    Quote from Lulu_Key

    Ah but even my wife hates being pregnant. And I hate this too so how are we supposed to resolve this?
    I've asked people around and it felt flat.
    Are there any married men and women here?
    We're a 32 y'o and 29 y'o married couple. Are there other couples like us?

    I think many missed this part. We don’t know why his wife hates being pregnant too, but he didn’t mentioned that, but it seem like a mutual issue both are facing because of the pregnancy. His wife hates the situation too and he just asked how they can resolve this, asking other married people who might have went through something similar.

    Quote from SandyBee3

    I think many missed this part. We don’t know why his wife hates being pregnant too, but he didn’t mentioned that, but it seem like a mutual issue both are facing because of the pregnancy. His wife hates the situation too and he just asked how they can resolve this, asking other married people who might have went through something similar.

    well the wife hates it bc aside from all the physical changes and pain she has a husband who treats her like this....

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  • AllKill VIP
    Quote from citron-icy

    Why you make a child then ?????


    b808a5de7b8058bacb02309048658220.jpg

    Wanting a child does not make you feel all happy and satisfied during the pregnancy. These are often feelings you didn’t expected and tbh can’t control.


    My mother (a mother of 4. kids) once told me that she loved and wanted every single one of us… but she hated every pregnancy and sometimes even my dad lol. But the feelings were temporary.

    It's not completely odd to not feel like you're attracted to her when she's pregnant, just like it's not odd for a woman to no longer feel desirable because of pregnancy changes.


    Him saying he doesn't have romantic feelings for her though... is that just because she's pregnant or is that due to the stress of starting a family? It sounds like she's having a rough time as well so I'm sure there's added strain to the relationship because both of them are feeling stress and frustration. I bet they're probably more easily annoyed with each other and more prone to arguing.


    I definitely second comments that he should go to therapy. Society tells you that this is what you're supposed to do and and how you're supposed to feel about starting a family, but kind of gloss over all the added horrors that come with parenthood.

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