Church of Kpop

Strolling through Youtube I rediscovered a particular episode of Jon Oliver's show Last Week Tonight on Televangelists

Televangelists: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO) - YouTube

So I thought to myself why not start my church and seed faith

WELCOME one and all to the Mega Kpop Church (cheering in the background)

Today I want to talk about a very important topic Seed Faith - As we all know the new Akorn system has everyone excited bout how to earn more Akorns

What better way to do this than through Seed Faith.

I want you to send me your seeds that's right all those digital Akorns just send them/transfer them right over to me

But selfmate you ask what's in it for me why should I send you my Akorns well this is where it gets interesting my friend by sending me your Akorns you will be blessed by our Church and those Akorns will be returned to you in the future tenfold ney One hundred fold.

An example here should suffice you send me 10 Akorns right now and in one year you will see those seeds growing and manifesting 100 times over to 1000 Akorns. Yes that's what i said in one year check your Akorn balance in one year and see that 10 you sent me grow to 1000 PRAISE BE!

So click that transfer button and send me all your seeds yes I want all the Akorns and you will be rewarded by the kpop gods themselves multiple times over.

Quote from Jk996

Good luck with this "job" idea!!

Thank you thank you but not giving a tithe can be a very bad idea i see no donations of seed from you

I see you liked a post on 2PM's upcoming album - i mean i can see no good in future on your chances of obtaining such album without a meaningful donation to our Mega Kpop church

kittykitka

I see you also enjoy visiting the kpop Megachurch but have also failed to make a donation.

I see you're a blink but I don't see good things for you in the future.

I don't see good chances of you obtaining Rosé's album in the future...

What would Goddess Rosé and angelic Jennie (I don't have the image with me but think Angel Jennie in globe's new ad) think about this - they would be disappointed right?

Quote from xx-jenn-xx

And here i thought you were going to take me to church for my obsession with ateez, e'last and noir and help me repent my sins....

My good friend the only to repent is through seed faith - donate your seeds and watch them those Akorns grow 100 fold!!!!

But in the future should our Megachurch grow in size and wealth I'm more than happy to take confession but in the meantime stream ATEEZ(에이티즈) - 'THANXX’ Official MV - YouTube

Quote from kittykitka

I see you're already at the religious guilting stage 👀

you're practically a pro now 😹

But you can't get me

It seems I'm loyal to another religion 🤭

Another religion BLASPHEMY

Guilt? no our Megachurch is completely benevolent

To repent your sins let thou know this "other" religion and thou will see if this other religion is worthy.

Quote from hopemin

What are the other tenets of the church?

Tenets? other than seed faith what else is there? Praise Be!

we are a multi disciplinary multi faith multi fandom church we cater to each and all...

Since I see you're a man of Better Transfer those Seeds I'm sure we can promote some Chicken Noodle Soup as our Church's preferred dish and like them you can choose to endure the hardships now but grow to the most powerful Akorn in the world later :)

Quote from kittykitka

It's called blackpink and I follow it thoroughly 🙏

The devout followers call themselves blinks FeLs3fy.gif

Yes and praised be to BP

there's nothing more that i would like to see

than you transferring those Akorns to me

so you can be as rich as Goddess Rosie!

We are a multi fandom church - its not called a Megachurch for no reason we incorporate all faiths and fandoms.

Haolat

I see another interested party

but who have failed to provide seeds to me

you seemed to like SME

donate and may your akorns grow like SNSD

YOHAENGct

come joint our glorious Church and be rewarded by donating those Akorns

I'm sure Yeri would be proud of your generious donation Ddu-Ddu???

Quote from YOHAENGct

uhhhhh.....im not into cults

cult what cult! We are a completely legitimate 100% legal according to the IRS, CRA, HMRC, ATO Caymen Island Tax Authority.

Like I said donate a mere 10 Akorns and see those Akorns grow 100 fold in a year

Quote from invstor099

What about actual seeds?

Oh no....I don't want actual seeds (Tzuyu says no to real Seeds!!!)

I'm not quite sure you understand my friend: you donate your Akorns to me and you will be blessed by Goddess Tzuyu herself with 100 fold return on the Akorns you donate...

That's how the system works since the beginning of Jesus yesterday.

Quote from 2yr

blessed be the akorn deities

all praise the akorn life

Oh no(er - Aussie Rosie accent) you have it all wrong my dear we do not worship Akorns at all - they are merely the seed. Nothing is worse than false worship of Akorns - you should immediately donate all your Akorns forthwith and in return Goddess Rosé will bless you will her album future Akorns...

The deities are the kpop gods themselves and I am but a mere humble servant here to promote the faith - SEED faith. So dig deep into your pockets and online wallets and remember for every Akorn you donate you shall be rewarded 100fold Praise Be

Quote from johnny

Can I join your religion? i don't think i can afford this oh great one

Why the Megachurch of Kpop welcomes all - we are all encompassing multi faith multi religion multi fandom church.

"afford" - ahh you've got it all wrong we do not require a fee or charge to join the church - joining is 100% free and also 100% free to leave if its not to your liking but if you leave I cannot guarantee that the kpop gods will look kindly on any Akorns which you have previously donated.

I see you like your meat! well our church accepts all types of foodies but especially meat lovers.

Now I can't tell your kpop preferences yet but what I do know is that all idols crave one type of meat - its given away as prizes, rewards and is very expensive...yes that's right Hanwoo Beef

Send through your Akons and in time my friend you too shall experience the delight that is Grade 1++ Haanwoo Beef. Donate now and in a year you too shall be blessed with enough Akorns to buy your own Hanwoo.

maybe I need to go to recruit some new followers to combat Satan and his new church

Any takers? Lol

juliathewizard

I see you taking an interest in my thread

Come join donate your Akorns don't be scared

I won't bite I'm actually quite nice

Kudos to you for listening to Twice

You say you're a wizard you play dnd?

What the hell let's stream I can't stop me

:)

Quote from juliathewizard

actually fun story I started signing my name as that on assignments in 7th grade and my English teacher recommended me a DnD league. I never joined it but there's an after school club in high school I go to

It might sound cringe or whatever but I have never actually played DND personally - I've always been a fan of DND through computer games such as baldur's gate (2nd edition dnd - THACO??? lol) but what really captured my interest was critical role - i love that show

I cannot believe that I see

Somebody actually donated to me

by none other than The-Sheriff

May the kpop gods bless you like a seraph

Praise be and may those 10 akorns that you sowed

grow 100fold of that which you bestowed.

itiswhatitisss

I see you've perused my church

it is casual interest or for research?

the former blink guild head coming to visit here

Its such an honour I'm quite sincere

10 akorns is all that I seek

in return you'll hear Rosé's solo in less than a week

Don't worry its all for charity

In the meantime stream Celebrity

Quote from itiswhatitisss

How do I donate lol

Hit the akorn button and transfer lol

Quote from itiswhatitisss

Done

Wow you've gained alot of Akorns from this huh....or are you just posting alot?

thank you I certainly didn't expect anyone to actually donate and posting a lot - I really don't know what to do with the akorns since I need no badges or avatars or DPs or whatever - unfortunately my friend this church isn't as profitable as some of the actual televangelist ones...but spread the word amongst your fellow blinks they too will be blessed by Goddess Rosé's angelic voice :P

Again thank you I truly do not actually need the akorns its more for the fun of it - the thrill of the chase if you will

sserenity

hello welcome another interested party do I see

Do you care to donate some akorns to me

The church welcomes all especially followers of Goddess Rosie

Her voice is angelic wouldn't you agree?

Transfer some akorns and see them grow

Aren't you looking forward to The Show

Your gift will help with the church's amenity

Every Little Bit helps, oh sweet Sserenity

tenry

Not a fan of my church I see

What do I have to do to convince thee

I'm honourable I'm a good man

What do I have to do to make you a stan?

:D