Have your parents ever told you that they hate you?

I feel so weird right and pathetic. I may be snitching on my parents, but I dont even know where to write this. Long story short. My mom said that she hates me. or she more like said it to my niece, that 'I hate your aunt' And it's not even the first time she has said this to me. she said a few years ago when I was a teen. My dad has also said it to me once. and I was expected to say sorry to my dad (But I also did something stupid that made him explode) I was so distraught that I told my mom that I wanted dad to apologise, and she said parents should never apologize.

Im no means a perfect daughter. In fact I can be an idiot sometimes, and my parents have usually said this in a fit of anger. But it doesn't sting any less.

Parents and their love is so confusing, one second they say that they hate me, and another minute they are providing generously for me. Seeing this makes me double minded, and almost pressures me to brush off what my parents say. I have discussed this with sisters, and one says that 'Mom didn't mean it' Im scared af to discuss it with my other sister in the fear that she will say the same thing.

My parents or specifically my mom hasn't had an easy life.

Im literally feeling nothing right now, because im not sure if I have the right to feel upset or resent my parents.

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Quote from taeric

Well, sometimes we tend to say things that we shouldn't because of the anger,,, My mom also says extremely harsh words. By age, I learnt a very good trick: to ignore that person or leave the room lol. Believe me, it gives you better satisfaction (what a sadic person I am). But also, you can avoid saying things that hurt and regret them later.

Usually, people who are older feel offended easily and they can't accept someone younger to correct them, even tho they make mistakes. Just mention that it's normal for people to learn from each other, as you learn from them, they should learn from you, but if they don't change, It's better to leave them alone, and just ignore or leave.

Anyway, don't be sad too much, we all have bad days and sometimes we might be too rude, but as long this will not transform into a constant behavior (because constantly making you feel bad for something that wasn't wrong can be manipulative behavior), just reconcile with your parents:").

I remember in a drama someone said that family is the one that you want to throw in the trash can when no one is looking lol, I felt that. Yeah, relationships are complicated.

Yes. The tactic of leaving the room is something I learnt a long time ago. It can backfire though.

Sometimes we have no choice but to reconcile, just because of our own sanity.

Quote from TheLadybug

yeah

but she says a lotta stuff when she's pissed so i actually dont care that much lmao

same. My mum has also said some pretty terrible stuff, and sometimes im so baffled when I hear it, that I cant even get offended.

But at the same time I cant help but feel fond of my mom again hours later

Quote from Hyssop

I understand.. I think if the parents don't have the capacity to love their child and a companionship is created between the parents and children which isn't loving, nurturing or supportive the child will have a heart which has 'filth'.. That's because the relationship they have has been demonstrated is with people who aren't upright.

To understand the psychological disorder and sadness requires the child or adult to want to change, take the hurt or despair they feel for themselves (logically realise that their weaknesses are petty behaviours which are easily resolved if they are committed to putting in the effort to change themselves, use their potential wisely and attain a lofty position) and constructively live a life with the principles of love, good manners and good knowledge. This requires motivation. Zsh I understand it is difficult to be genuine but carry on doing what you're doing even if it's superficial. I advise you to seek your soul as that's what your worth is.. Set yourself goals, distinguish the good people to support you and stay away from the losers.. There's no intelligence like planning.

Apologise for your own shortcomings and bad manners.. We're human and imperfect and that means it's the effort that we do that matters.. there's no nobility like good character.

Beware of becoming a loser yourself, pity and have mercy on those who are bad company don't degrade them, don't harbour bad feelings towards them.. Good company is better than solitude, solitude is better than bad company and saying what it good is better than silence, silence is better than saying what is bad.

And once you can feel that you're actions are having a positive effect on you as you do them you will experience your progress and you know you are now on the right way.. the way appears. I hope it gets easier for us all..

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Thank you for the advice.