My Boyfriend Is In Love With A Female Idol & Has Become Less Invested In Our Relationship

Quote from tokki-swag

For context, I'm 23 and he's 25 and we both live in Seattle, Washington.

My boyfriend had a sedentary lifestyle...never going to the gym, poor diet, never was outgoing etc.

All of that changed since January 2022.

At first I thought it was a New Year's resolution of some sort and was ecstatic that he was living a healthier lifestyle.

Then the changes became more drastic: he leetcoded for 2 months preparing for interviews and switched jobs, he picked up singing and hiking as hobbies, he became more outgoing, and started travelling occasionally on his own without me (like for a weekend every month).

He even started learning Korean (which I now know why...).

At this point I was still very happy. But then I started noticing changes in our relationship.

He became less attentive and it felt like he was with me just because he had to be.

He put in zero extra effort and everything would have to be initiated by me.

It got so bad that up until a week ago, I had serious doubts that he was cheating on me.

I did something very uncharacteristic of me and went through his phone and laptop. Nothing out of the ordinary, no evidence of cheating.

But I came across a folder where he essentially wrote a diary in Word documents.

I'm still a bit shocked at what I read and it all feels so surreal.

Long story short: he's supposedly "in love" with an idol who doesn't know he exists and lives in another country.

He went to her concert and met her at a fan meet. He watches her videos all day, both her music videos and vlogs. He admits that he has no chance of being with her as she has millions of others fawning over her, but he still got his life in order using her as his motivation.

Two verbatim quotes: he has "fallen in love with her personality" and what he feels for her is "unlike anything I've ever felt before".

I really didn't know what to do with this information so I brought it up to him to see if our relationship is salvageable. He's now sidestepping the whole issue and focusing more on why I went snooping through his laptop and invaded his privacy by reading his personal documents.

Like I said, he's a bit realistic about it and isn't an extremely obsessive fan so I still have a little hope.

He isn't stalking her or going to airports to catch a glimpse of her or anything super weird..thankfully.

ETA: It's Rosé from BLACKPINK. Came as a complete shocker, because she's older than him, half a foot shorter, and he has never dated an Asian girl in his life.

Display More

I mean. Yeah that's wild. I think let's just take away the "in love with a kpop star" thing for a moment, even if he's being somewhat rational. The fact that he's become less attentive to you or not being a true supportive significant other alone is the issue. The question truly is, is there a viable future, do you both want to be with one another etc.

Yeah. It's an awkward situation. Hope you come to terms in your way that leads you to the best and healthiest outcome for you.

He is in love with a female idol at 25? Drop him, he is a loser.

I'm assuming that this was copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/kpoph…in_love_with_a_celebrity/

Rose? If I were posting a fake story, I would at least want people to think my nonexistent boyfriend has higher standards.

If this is true to beign with ge is old enough to not be acting like a clown

1. it is wrong of someone to look at someone else's computer without permission - breach of privacy

2. communication communication communication - F should talk to M about the situation - the hows and whys and whens and hows and whats etce tc

3. in absence of anything else they should probably break up not because they seem incompatible - there's trust issues on both sides and he is infatuated with another person

Drop him...plus, won't go through personal stuff... respect people's privacy