Am I supposed to be thankful?(fat shaming)

This sounds toxic to me

I would freak out when someone in my family would call me stuff like that

My cousin goes through the same thing. Her parents, siblings always make fun of her weight, though she takes it well since she's used to it now but sometimes I wonder how bad I would have felt if I was her.

Yes, it is a cultural difference, but no, that doesn’t make it right. They should be more understanding of your needs and how you feel.

Quote from better-than-sex

But I'm so tired... I'm trying not to revert to old habits... Honestly, the insults are just causing me to eat more and I'm getting so guilty about it. And I can't tell anyone because they think I should just lose weight...

Stop caring what other people think. Your family should support you instead of insulting you. If you get serious health problems you should lose weight. But this should be your own decision. If you start losing weight because of other people, it will probably not work. You need the motivation to start, because you want to lose some weight for a strong reason.

I know many people that try to lose weight because of the job, because of the girls, because of annoying friends and family members. They lost weight, but gained it back after some time.

Think about the advantages you would have when being fit and slim. If you care what other people think, visualize their puzzled looks, after your look changed to the better. Think about getting fitter than the persons insulting you at the moment. This can motivate you, but in general you should lose weight because you want it.

About 2 years ago I had 120 kg. Now I have 90 kg. I'm still too heavy in my opinion (80 kg would be ok), but at least my diet still works, so I had no 'yo-yo-Effekt' . On the other hand there's no hurry to lose 10 kilos more. But if I had ever cared what other people think about my weight, I'd be still a hippo on two legs.

I ate too much when I got stressed. People telling me I'm too fat would be pure stress. And my stress compensation was eating! So ... hello Downward Spiral!

Tbh I'm dealing with some stressful things in my life and it's being years so I gained a little weight and (oh, here is Brazil) some relatives tried to say something about my body, but i just cut them off coldly enough for them to stop and I'll never understand this mentality that just bc it's your family you must accept everything with a smile in your face when accepting everything means eating disorders, depression, panic attacks and more.

If they are worried about you they should be asking how you are and what's stressing you, not making comments about your body and totally ignoring your mental health and feelings.

I understand that it's a cultural difference, but toxic environment is toxic environment in any place. I hope you don't take it to heart and just prioritize yourself! Family doesn't mean much if they are this inconsiderate, just remember yourself that you are a great person and for real, give a big fuck you to all of them (in this case obviously, i think you love your family kkkk so in this specific case).

I hope you free yourself of caring about their opinions, it isn't easy obviously, but it's the only way to live happily. A healthy mind is a healthy body!

Quote from monalisalove

Tbh I'm dealing with some stressful things in my life and it's being years so I gained a little weight and (oh, here is Brazil) some relatives tried to say something about my body, but i just cut them off coldly enough for them to stop and I'll never understand this mentality that just bc it's your family you must accept everything with a smile in your face when accepting everything means eating disorders, depression, panic attacks and more.

If they are worried about you they should be asking how you are and what's stressing you, not making comments about your body and totally ignoring your mental health and feelings.

I understand that it's a cultural difference, but toxic environment is toxic environment in any place. I hope you don't take it to heart and just prioritize yourself! Family doesn't mean much if they are this inconsiderate, just remember yourself that you are a great person and for real, give a big fuck you to all of them (in this case obviously, i think you love your family kkkk so in this specific case).

I hope you free yourself of caring about their opinions, it isn't easy obviously, but it's the only way to live happily. A healthy mind is a healthy body!

Best answer material right here.

Quote from YouChanDoThis

Best answer material right here.

Own people here may think that my internet personality is unbelievable direct, but trust me, i live like this irl too. Even my dad tried to talk about my weight and I just looked at him and said "please stop, this is such a sensitive topic to be reminded every damn second, let's have sympathy " kkkkkk

my relatives are all fat and they ALWAYS feel entitled to skinnyshame me and my father lol

feels like everyone thinks they are the standard and need to educate others

ignore entitled people, family or not

Fat shaming happens everywhere, I´ve always been on the overweight/obese side and people has always told me to lose weight and go on a diet and eat less, even if they have known me for only a few minutes. Aand it's true tthe anxiety it may cause on you can lead to overeating which is exactly what we should avoid. I know obesity carries a lot of healt hazards when uncontrolled but people shoudln't feel it is a reason to fat shame people.

Why do people not understand that fat shaming is completely counter productive? I was slightly overweight as a child and I experienced the same, family members absolutely tearing my self esteem down.

Looking back at the photos and I wasn’t even big at all, maybe a little chubby. Anyway, now I have an eating disorder and go to the gym every single day to train. They don’t realise how much they can fuck up a person.

I've gained a bunch of weight because of changing antidepressants and just general stress worsening my ED.

This is also mainly the reason I went no contact with the majority of my extended family and I honestly don't even remotely miss them. Blood is not everything and time is far too precious to waste it one people who'd only bring me down

It's not just Asians thing. It's something you can often find in Europe and other parts of the world as well. My cousin got Covid this year. She had a very difficult time because she had diabetes. She went in and out of intensive care, we can say she came back from the dead. Her system, which was already sluggish due to the drugs and steroids she was given all this time, gained a lot of weight. She went from 80 kilos to 120 kilos. After leaving the hospital, the only thing everyone talked about was not the fact that she had come back from the dead, but the weight she gained. All this caused her mental breakdown. People shouldn't talk about things that don't fall on them. Even with well-intentioned advice, you cannot know exactly what kind of psychology the other person is in. You could do more harm than good. Now she is slowly losing weight with the help of a dietitian. Because she already had diabetes, being overweight was not good for her health. She have 3 kids. If she caught Covid again, it would be much more difficult to get rid of it with her condition. Knowing this, she motivates herself. I think as others have emphasized, it all comes down to motivation. If you have a really good motivational reason, you have a better chance of succeeding. And that doesn't just apply to diet, it applies to everything.

there are better ways to help someone get healthier than passive agressive insults if you really are concerned about that person. that said, our health really is all we got and it doesn't hurt to start taking small steps towards improving your situation

that sounds very toxic

If anything holidays is the time to indulge alittle. It must have been super hurtful.

My extended family was like that too which is why we are on no contact with them now.

Don't feel bad! Just remember whenever someone insults you for being on the bigger side they are just showing the lack of brains they have so instead of feeling sad for being bigger just feel sad for them being stupid, you shouldn't care what other people say when they are rude or hurtful, if they say something but you can feel they are saying it with tact and because they actually worry about your health then be thankful they care about you, if you feel they are saying it just to hurt you and make you feel bad about yourself just ignore them, but also if you are getting too sad about it maybe you aren't happy about getting bigger if that's the case then you can always try to excercise and eat more healthy but only do it for yourself not because of other people, what matters is that you feel good in your own skin no matter the shape, i know this is probably troubling you a lot but remember there are all kind of sizes and shapes in this world so don't ever feel like you don't belong