Just made my first pronoun oopsy.

  • Ooof, and now I feel bad.


    This is weird that this is just happening to me since I have worked at universities for 5-6 years, but the first university job I had was in the southern US, and they really did not gaf what you wanted to be called lmao. Now, I am in Cali. LA more precisely, and they will CUT you for messing up pronouns.


    I had a Zoom meeting with some students today, and I have not really had to deal with any students. Mostly faculty, who are older, and pretty much fall within traditional gender labels. One of the students uses the They/Them pronoun, but they "appear" female. So, I slipped and called them and the other person "ladies", which is a fem label.


    Was not until after the slip that I thought about it and saw the They/Them pronouns next to their name.


    I apologized afterwards, but still feel bad. Then, as the two were leaving, I told them, I hope you "guys" have a great weekend. And I'm like... :pepe-sad::peperain:

    I could not find a gender neutral term to close out what I was saying, so I just used "guys", which people use for both women and men. But still, I know some people are picky about that too. This is really gonna be a real struggle. I have to completely relearn how to speak now.

    PGDPGT PRETTY GIRLS DOING PRETTY GIRL THINGS

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  • It's fine as long as you notice you've made a mistake. Just try to get it right next time.

    It's a conscious effort. Especially having lived 27 years with your brain hardwired to say certain things and associate certain words with certain people.


    Ooof. At least my kids will have it much easier than I do. ;(

    PGDPGT PRETTY GIRLS DOING PRETTY GIRL THINGS

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  • Hope you "gendsters" have a good day

    Hope you "pals" have a good day

    Hope you "slayfuls" have a good day


    About the pronoun thing, don't feel too bad it was just a mistake. When I used he/him pronouns, people would call me girl or she all the time because I was fem presenting, but once I told them my pronouns they learned. It just takes some practice.

    Lmao, those are some interesting examples, but not really good in a professional role. I'm gonna have to start researching this though because last thing I want is to offend someone, or worse, a discrimination case. ||

    PGDPGT PRETTY GIRLS DOING PRETTY GIRL THINGS

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  • Hope you both have a good day


    Also, if people raise a huge fuss about you misgendering them in a first-time accident, it doesn't show good things about their character. The most shared approach is to make the correction and not make a big deal about your mistake because it changes the focus onto you instead of the person you misgendered.

  • okay I'm gonna be serious and recommend:

    "Thanks people!"

    "See you all again!"

    "Have a nice day everyone!"

    Basically people and everyone in place of guys

    These are good. My boss forced me to stop saying Hey, and I managed to do it. Now, I just got to practice this.

    PGDPGT PRETTY GIRLS DOING PRETTY GIRL THINGS

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  • Same for mine, since my language is almost entirely gender divided.

    Even words have a "gender", masculine terms being usually the default/neutral for a group of people.

    Same!! Is your language slavic by any chance ? ^^


    we can't even talk about oursleves without exposing our gender lol ...if you say "I went to school" for example everyone knows whether you're a man or a woman by the sufix of the verb


    "They/them" also doesn't work because it used to be used as highly honorific language when you talked about your seniors...now it's obsolate but old people still use it when they're talkin about their parents and grandparents

  • The they/them is really fascinating to me because this option simply doesn't exist in my native language. I'd mess up so often...


    My native language is devided into three distinct genders, masculine, feminine and neuter with two basic levels of politeness and a third reserved exclusively for royalty.

    There's no neutral "they/them". As a human you're either a he or a her, because while neuter exists it can't be used to refer to a person, it's for objects, which would make matters even worse.

    You can't really say anything about yourself without choosing either male or female either.

  • Same!! Is your language slavic by any chance ? ^^


    we can't even talk about oursleves without exposing our gender lol ...if you say "I went to school" for example everyone knows whether you're a man or a woman by the sufix of the verb


    "They/them" also doesn't work because it used to be used as highly honorific language when you talked about your seniors...now it's obsolate but old people still use it when they're talkin about their parents and grandparents

    My language is Latin-based (Portuguese). I guess the same works for Spanish and French.

    The "they" option doesn't work 'cause the whole structure of the phrase you're gonna write/say will change to plurals and create a whole mess, hard to understand (like if you say "they went to the park", in my language you're gonna instantly think about more than 1 person doing this activity).


    You can, of course, try to make your phrases the least pronoun-needed possible (as I try to do when I talk to a non-binary person), but at some point you're gonna need them.

  • My language is Latin-based (Portuguese). I guess the same works for Spanish and French.

    The "they" option doesn't work 'cause the whole structure of the phrase you're gonna write/say will change to plurals and create a whole mess, hard to understand (like if you say "they went to the park", in my language you're gonna instantly think about more than 1 person doing this activity).


    You can, of course, try to make your phrases the least pronoun-needed possible (as I try to do when I talk to a non-binary person), but at some point you're gonna need them.

    Ohhh I see that was my second guess actually ^^


    In English it's quite easy because all you need to do is to change the pronoun but in my language it also messes up the whole structure of the sentence so even neo pronouns are barely an option because you gotta change verbs too and it doesn't really work


    I've never talked to a non-binary person here but I read that some non binary folks just keep switching between female and male pronouns and sufixes

  • Ohhh I see that was my second guess actually ^^


    In English it's quite easy because all you need to do is to change the pronoun but in my language it also messes up the whole structure of the sentence so even neo pronouns are barely an option because you gotta change verbs too and it doesn't really work


    I've never talked to a non-binary person here but I read that some non binary folks just keep switching between female and male pronouns and sufixes

    that's helpful!

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