Completely honest here, never experienced even a hint of it - ever. I see them for what they are, idols making music.
Completely honest here, never experienced even a hint of it - ever. I see them for what they are, idols making music.
Valid
wish i could help you out but i mostly see them as just entertainers so it's all just fun and games for me. i think the answer is in the ditto mv. just hang out with friends. if you don't have any then go out there and meet some people. get a new hobby or something idk
Just starting a dialogue about it since I think it's a phenomenon worth talking about. I've seen my fair share of content about this topic.
Yes, the "Ditto" MV is exactly what comes to mind. K-pop is all in good fun, but it's important to make sure you're in a trajectory where it's assisting your life instead of consuming your life. Work from within if you feel there's something missing; you can't find true happiness from something external.
I had idols liking messages that I've sent them
also they even wrote few things in DM's
to sum things up no one from big groups ever 'hit me back'
but few members of less known groups replayed with kind words
overall to everyone I have one advice, never write weird things
but for example when you will see that your fav posted some photo from hospital hallway or you saw news that he/she is on hiatus because has flu or something, then write nice dm, even if they won't reply still it can make their day better and help them go through hardships
For me parasocial wasn’t really like about being in a relationship with them as such
But I used to place too much importance on things like how exo songs performed, how exo were treated at award shows or events and stuff like that. Like I personally knew them and stuff and used to get offended on their behalf.
It eased out when exo enlisted and I also grew up lol. It’s something that’s fun during my school/college years, it gave something to focus on Other than life but with age I just found other things.
I dont have any issues. Of course I joke and say woohyun is my future husband. But to me they are people. Though I do cry and tear up every time I see Woohyun do it. His story and all he's been through is very inspiring to me. I empathize with him.
But I'm old enough to know these people are never going to date me, remember me, etc. But it's always exciting when an artist likes something you posted or responds to you etc
For me I've gotten so attached to my biases that I've gotten sad that I can never marry/date someone like them. When I would watch Chan's room I felt like Bang Chan was my best friend because his livestreams comforted me when I was sad and made me happy again. I don't think I've ever gotten so delusional that I've truly thought my biases love me or would ever date me. I just see them as someone I love but not someone I know personally. Idk if that makes sense. Anyway, I think parasocial relationships are okay as long as you keep them to yourself and understand that you don't actually know these idols. The problem arises when these fans truly believe these idols will date them, so they start stalking them. That's when I start feeling like parasocial relationships are actually harmful to us fans in the long run.
The most parasocial thing i did and i do is defend my faves without even knowing them personally. I only know what i saw in the screen, and all that is a show, a product of a company. I mean, probably most of the time they are acting to an audience. If i think about that, is weird to defend someone, believing you know them when you really dont.
For me I've gotten so attached to my biases that I've gotten sad that I can never marry/date someone like them. When I would watch Chan's room I felt like Bang Chan was my best friend because his livestreams comforted me when I was sad and made me happy again. I don't think I've ever gotten so delusional that I've truly thought my biases love me or would ever date me. I just see them as someone I love but not someone I know personally. Idk if that makes sense. Anyway, I think parasocial relationships are okay as long as you keep them to yourself and understand that you don't actually know these idols. The problem arises when these fans truly believe these idols will date them, so they start stalking them. That's when I start feeling like parasocial relationships are actually harmful to us fans in the long run.
Thanks for being honest and open about this. Bang Chan is one of those people who raises expectations of what being a good friend is all about, so I completely get it. When you’re going through stuff and desire comfort, certain idols provide a sense of reassurance that seems superior and incomparable to anything else. There’s bound to be some sadness as you face such thoughts. The attachment causes more suffering because desire of what’s unattainable causes suffering.
I know good and well a ton of users here have been through the same thing. They’re just unwilling to admit it because they wanna keep up this “I’m so badass and not like the other fans” image. I swear people were more open about their thoughts on the old forum.
Like you said, I also agree that it’s okay as long as it doesn’t lead to extremities. It’s all part of the game after all. K-pop is intended to be this way. If it wasn’t, companies wouldn’t be training idols to provide so much fan service.
I think like all things, it's on a scale. There are those on the extreme and there are those who have complete separation but like most bell curves, most fans fall in between.
I also think kpop fans often speak in hyperbole. For me, a lot of what I say is either to get a reaction or is just fun saying it.
As to the most parasocial thing I've done, I think it's probably during the times when vlive was still popular. I've watch all my faves streams just to know their individual personalities more because the public contents usually aren't the best for doing so. I also realize how useless than info is but it's just fun doing. I see it as watching a TV show too get to the character development.
I guess it's a spectrum like most things there will be people so deeply involved that it becomes like a mental health issue and the fan will become like sasaeng or whatever but there are also fans on the opposite end of the spectrum that just enjoy their favs in peace
but just like most things you'll never hear about the nice, calm, peaceful fan - all you'll see on the news or media is the crazy deranged Parasocial Relationships...
Don’t have an account yet? Register yourself now and be a part of our community!
