I kind regret my kpop fan girling era

  • Most people here might be young kpop fans of bts or new groups but I been kpop fan since tvxq and boa were considered new uprising artists, I witness lot things that have been effecting me emotionally, like kibum leaving suju, tvxq breakup, suju car accident, yunho poisoned by anti japanese fan, girls generation black sea, tara bullying scandal, baby kara show one participates who failed deleted herself, sulli and goo hara death, kris wu leaving exo had caused me great pain he was my favorite, the most shocking event to me was learning IU was colorist and promoted skin bleaching products.


    Those just few things that I remember on top my head, their lot more, it make me think all this happen and then I get why I am no longer fan of kpop, the deal breaker was the colorism and racism/antiblackness, I could tolerate anything but racism.


    So even though I do come to check on kpop news once in while as bad habit I dont invest my emotions on idols who I dont know what they like in real life.


    Dont know if any young generation fans care to listen but dont invest too much your time and mental health on this. It not real, once you get out in real world and work you will relies you dont have time for this... Now with all love :finger-heart:<3

    External Content www.youtube.com
    Content embedded from external sources will not be displayed without your consent.
    Through the activation of external content, you agree that personal data may be transferred to third party platforms. We have provided more information on this in our privacy policy.

  • KPOP is not a welcoming place for POC, especially black people! I LOVE kpop but damn, I cannot catch a break! A lot of users on this forum are older, so it is possible to LOVE k-pop even when your older, which is sweet how that love for the music and genre never goes away, but good advice to young people, because KPOP shouldn't consume your whole life.

  • KPOP is not a welcoming place for POC, especially black people! I LOVE kpop but damn, I cannot catch a break! A lot of users on this forum are older, so it is possible to LOVE k-pop even when your older, which is sweet how that love for the music and genre never goes away, but good advice to young people, because KPOP shouldn't consume your whole life.

    I still remember time I introduce my relative to wonder girls no body, she became kpop fan cuz of me, I some times regret making other people get addicted, it like I made them join cult unknowingly of the harm it can cause them.

    And not just that I cut off people cuz they were rude saying kpop idols look effeminate and like girls, I used to get so defensive and cut of people cuz they thought kpop was weird, now looking back at all that I feel I was ridiculous and childish blinded by the illusion of kpop entertainment.. Wasted moments Of my school life I spend online fighting other fandoms and voting, useless waste of time, I still dream of sulli, one thing I can't shake out my mind, I used to envy her being same age as me but being successful and beautiful, I liked her but didnt want to became fan of her cuz she was same age, I followed her on IG and saw some her lives but I didnt understand what was happening cuz I didn't know korean but kept posting comments to her in english but it never reached her, the thought that I was so close yet couldnt reach my hand, it hunt me, the moonbin case I am not fan nor do I know astro group but I now something like this will keep repeating cuz no one want to change the system and this system is toxic, also their lot fans who deleted themselves too, I still remember the Turkish fan who deleted herself cuz she was bullied for liking kpop.

    External Content www.youtube.com
    Content embedded from external sources will not be displayed without your consent.
    Through the activation of external content, you agree that personal data may be transferred to third party platforms. We have provided more information on this in our privacy policy.

  • Of course we care to listen!~


    I personally like to interview people about their jobs and what they did / what courses they took to get there and connect with people in my field of interest (Museum/Art Gallery wise). It's been something really helpful to me to get into other hobbies besides kpop and focus on my future.


    EXO was the group next to BTS and BAP at the time who I often went to for comfort, although I only found them after Tao left I feel like I kinda understand where you are coming from.


    With everything that happened with MoonBin, BAP, TRCNG and now OmegaX I definitely think you are right in many ways. Although I'm not as crazy about it as I once was, and have unsubscribed and unfollowed a lot (In 2017 - 2019 I had fan accounts on twitter for Nine Percent, EXO and BTS. I eventually had to step away and shut down the accounts despite having a lot of followers when I began my own mental health crisis (after losing my grandparents and some other stuff).


    From when I entered kpop till now I can definitely say a lot of things have changed, I think bringing this up is something really important.


    Wishing you the best.

  • I still remember time I introduce my relative to wonder girls no body, she became kpop fan cuz of me, I some times regret making other people get addicted, it like I made them join cult unknowingly of the harm it can cause them.

    And not just that I cut off people cuz they were rude saying kpop idols look effeminate and like girls, I used to get so defensive and cut of people cuz they thought kpop was weird, now looking back at all that I feel I was ridiculous and childish blinded by the illusion of kpop entertainment.. Wasted moments Of my school life I spend online fighting other fandoms and voting, useless waste of time, I still dream of sulli, one thing I can't shake out my mind, I used to envy her being same age as me but being successful and beautiful, I liked her but didnt want to became fan of her cuz she was same age, I followed her on IG and saw some her lives but I didnt understand what was happening cuz I didn't know korean but kept posting comments to her in english but it never reached her, the thought that I was so close yet couldnt reach my hand, it hunt me, the moonbin case I am not fan nor do I know astro group but I now something like this will keep repeating cuz no one want to change the system and this system is toxic, also their lot fans who deleted themselves too, I still remember the Turkish fan who deleted herself cuz she was bullied for liking kpop.

    I remember my first days as a kpop fan, I was like that too. Obsessed wasn't even close to what I was. I wanted to be pretty like idols too, It was all so new to me, I really had fun back then, but I was blinded by fandom culture and really ended up wasting time in my life, like what you said. With the recent death of Moonbin I think it's hard to justify K-POP as a industry, and still support such a toxic place. It's hard sometimes, there's so many aspects to kpop that are toxic to fans, and idols. I love it a lot, but at what cost?

  • oh damn I remember you from the old forum


    how have you been?

    I am fine thanks for remembering me :lover3:

    External Content www.youtube.com
    Content embedded from external sources will not be displayed without your consent.
    Through the activation of external content, you agree that personal data may be transferred to third party platforms. We have provided more information on this in our privacy policy.

  • I think the problem is that we look at K-pop as this utopia where people and things are perfect. It's easy to get attached when real life isn't as fulfilling as we'd like it to be.


    So when we find about these not-so-pleasant things like colorism, abusive behavior, anti-Blackness, and self-harm in the K-pop industry, it feels like betrayal in a sense. Even though these things happen in just about any other industry and society of the world, it's exacerbated in K-pop because it's such a stark contrast compared to what we've come to idealize.


    There's nothing wrong with being sentimental or emotionally attached. Just be realistic with it. I do have to mention something. I feel like colorism is more nuanced than it's often portrayed as. Koreans (and other Asians) tend to use it as a beauty standard they set only for themselves, but they don't necessarily see it racially. This can be toxic in that it leads to self-image issues, but that's a topic on its own since there's a whole umbrella of unhealthy or unrealistic beauty standards out there.


    K-pop should be a supplement to our lives if we're into it, but it should never consume us. I try to let it influence me in positive ways. For one, oddly enough, it gave me some purpose and direction in terms of career, so I'll forever be grateful for that. If you could just take the good from it and apply it to your life, I think that's a good way to approach it.

  • I can relate. Of course, everyone here knows me and that I am an older fan (much older in fact). I was obsessed with K pop from the moment I first got into it until a few years ago when I "touched the grass" and woke and grew up. It was consuming my life and I had a daughter to care for who herself thought a bit much. It was affecting my mental health and wasn't healthy. Now I have wised up and barely listen to any now.


    All I'm saying is that K pop is not the most important thing in the world, it's an interest and should be nothing more. Younger fans need to realize that and to surround themselves with real people in real time that will care and invest in their wellbeing. My daughter thinks it's the best move I've made and is proud of me for doing so. Don't get me wrong, I still like K pop but more the older stuff.

  • I can relate. Of course, everyone here knows me and that I am an older fan (much older in fact). I was obsessed with K pop from the moment I first got into it until a few years ago when I "touched the grass" and woke and grew up. It was consuming my life and I had a daughter to care for who herself thought a bit much. It was affecting my mental health and wasn't healthy. Now I have wised up and barely listen to any now.


    All I'm saying is that K pop is not the most important thing in the world, it's an interest and should be nothing more. Younger fans need to realize that and to surround themselves with real people in real time that will care and invest in their wellbeing. My daughter thinks it's the best move I've made and is proud of me for doing so. Don't get me wrong, I still like K pop but more the older stuff.

    Glad you managed to build family, I rejected lot guys advances and didnt want to date guys from my country or race cuz I was immature and thought someday I would get oppa, damn this so embarrassing, but I really believed I would end up with asian guy japanese or korean, little did I know how anti blackness those cultures were, and not just that I dont have the mean to travel, and I have little to no interest in learning the culture of those countries, I like the entertainment and anime but the culture I find it to be quite toxic.

    I was following ambw couples it short for asian man and blackwomen, and the women either were rejected by the parents of the guy or their biracial children face discrimination or bully for being dark or half black not asian enough, like I grow up suffering being only black girl in my school no way would I put my child through that in whole country and culture veiw them as unwelcomed and unwanted.

    Nice to see your daughter wise, I feel like the new generation mature faster then us, good for them.

    External Content www.youtube.com
    Content embedded from external sources will not be displayed without your consent.
    Through the activation of external content, you agree that personal data may be transferred to third party platforms. We have provided more information on this in our privacy policy.

Participate now!

Don’t have an account yet? Register yourself now and be a part of our community!