AITA for not speaking during lunch?

No, you're not.

You get to choose how you spend your free time (like lunch).

Forcing yourself to be social is the fastest way to start hating those around you. You need your time.

I've flat out told people before "Hey, this is my lunchtime, I would prefer not to talk now. I can get back with you later if you need something." And that's fine. As long as you're not rude about it or always push people away.

As an adult who's worked in an office setting for a huge company for years: I can assure you that literally no one else is worried about what you were doing.

Break rooms are space for people to get their coffee, eat, browse on their phone during lunch or break, knit, read, etc. Some people are VERY friendly and want to spend their whole time chatting, some people want space for themselves on the break. My experience has been that more people lean toward the latter.

I think they were being friendly to you, and as long as you're friendly back (as it sounds you were - answering their question pleasantly), then that's normal break room chit chat. You're fine.

NTA mate

I know it's hard with your issues and all that but don't fret over something like that my friend

just try to explain yourself and engage in conversation if and when you can or like some of the other people above have said just blame it on first week's nerves

What you did wasnt an asshole move

You can do what you wish on your free time

If I see someone new I usually try to strike up a convu with them so they don feel left out, but if they are not up to it Im perfectly ok with leaving them alone too

Quote from FeLiNa

wish i didn't need to make this thread but my anxiety is through the roof so....yeah.

today was my first day shadowing someone at the front desk of my new job. i was there for a while. i was nice to and greeted any other employees i came across.

well when lunch time came we were all sitting in the break room and i was in the corner on my phone. i had already eaten earlier. i consider these people to be higher than me (i am not officially employed yet) so i remained silent whilst they talked and laughed etc. the only time i spoke was when one of them asked if i had eaten, i said yes (a granola bar), and they said "that's it?" and i said "yep! i'm good." and everyone continued eating.

i am now afraid i came off as dismissive and rude, or created an awkward environment by being silent on my phone, when really at the time i was afraid i would be out of line if i interjected or spoke really.

do you think i was dismissive/rude? or do you think that i behaved as to be expected?

also would appreciate it if specifically adults or people who have worked (especially in a workplace) weighed in on this. my mom is making it sound like i kinda messed up, i really hope this isn't true...

starting to think i'm not cut out for any office job with actual stakes, and this is where i belong instead:

External Content youtu.be

Content embedded from external sources will not be displayed without your consent.

Display all external content

Through the activation of external content, you agree that personal data may be transferred to third party platforms. We have provided more information on this in our privacy policy.

this looks like heaven to me tbh. or maybe i'm still just depressed ahahah.

Display More

NTA and you did nothing wrong. It sounds like you were very polite and respectful the whole time. Lunch/break time is used to relax how you see fit (within reason). Some people like to socialize then (like me), while others don't. It's all fine, as long as you are not rude about it. Besides, as other people have pointed out, they probably just chalked it up to you being new or shy, no harm done.

Also, if these people are as lovely as you described them as being, and you still feel guilty about it later, if you explained to them how you felt and why you acted the way you did, I'm sure they would understand and try to ease your concerns. Maybe they'd even try to make an effort to include you in their conversations in the future (if that's what you want). No matter what, rest assured, I'm positive they aren't upset with you at all. If someone was like that to me at work, I would just assume they were on social media, listening to music or were shy, not that they were being disrespectful at all. I hope things end up going well. Have a great day/night!

Quote from FeLiNa

some of them were nice and others iced me out. i'm used to the latter, but i just didn't want them to have another reason to hate me.

and i'll probably explain casually next week. thank you

I'm glad at least some of them are nice. I guess vile people are unavoidable, but I don't see how anyone could hate you since you're so sweet. Sounds like a plan! I hope that goes well for you.