I had always lived a lonely life, always knowing I was missing something important in it; So, when I had found out about a boy group named BTS, I became envious. BTS were like nothing I had ever seen before, they could make people smile, laugh and feel inspired, all things I had always wanted to do myself. I knew they could grant me the answer to most of my problems, but I could only envy them more for that. To this day I’m not sure why I couldn’t just accept reality, why I had to be so envious of such amazing people. Maybe it’s because people better than me had always looked down upon me my whole life, so I became jealous. Jealous of their charms, their talents and the love they received, something I believed I could never have for myself. My envy turned into hate shortly after I realized they could fill my void. I didn’t know at the time that I was making one of the biggest mistakes I’d ever make.
Feeling complete is something I’ve always longed to feel, so I had gone through other groups to see if they could help fill the void in my heart, but none were quite like BTS. BTS are special, and yes other groups are as well, but BTS were the special I needed. As BTS continued to gain more popularity, I was at home hiding behind my computer. I’m not sure if BTS will ever forgive me for the “jokes” I made, and I completely understand. I owe them a big apology, and I don’t think they’ll ever see this but if they do then I’d like to apologize. I’m sorry BTS, I’m sorry for the things I said and for the people I hurt. I hope one day you can forgive me. I’d also like to apologize to ARMY, I’m sorry for being ignorant when you were only trying to help me find myself. With that, I knew I needed to branch out, being alone was clogging my mind with too much negativity.
On one special day I made a friend. She was a big fan of BTS, I had never met someone so kind who genuinely loved these 7 men; I had chances to, but instead of learning to love I could only learn to hate. She had shown me their music and everything she liked about them, and slowly but surely I began to realize how wrong I had been this whole time. How could I ever hate such kind people, people who only wanted to spread love in this world. Guilt began to consume me and I fell deeper into my depression, guilt for all the things I had said over the years, all the things I did to spread hate. My realization made me burst into tears, my breaking point for all the mistakes I made in my life finally coming down on me. It was the moment I realized I needed to change, and so I did. There is no going back on the mistakes I made, but now I can do what BTS do the best, and that is spread love.
I changed how I acted towards others and spread love to everyone I could in every possible way. I also got to know BTS better, and learned to love them genuinely, with my whole heart. BTS taught me how to love, to make people smile and laugh, how I should embrace my own talents and share my true colors with the world. I had finally found the piece I was missing in my life. BTS not only helped me become a better person, but also helped me meet amazing people and find a love for everything. I hope to never turn back into the hateful person I once was, and I hope everyone can one day learn to love BTS like I do. I had turned from a girl who had always been alone and depressed to a girl who could finally embrace herself, and my missing piece was to learn to love. So I’d like to thank BTS and ARMY for teaching me this. Thank you BTS and ARMY, for helping me find myself and my true home.
We are not just a fandom, but a family 
