im gonna talk about my first world problems lol
so i wanted to get the shating star for a while. aka shinee's lightstick. yes, that's what it's called. smtown sold out of them in like a day so i left the amazon link and the shinee world vlive link on my mom's phone as a lil hint since my birthday is coming up. and then a few days later i found her phone sitting on the bed with her messages app open and a screenshot of the lightstick in a text. so i snuck a lil peek and it turns out... she sent it to my aunt because she wanted to create a sculpture based off of it... instead of... buying it... for me...
i tried to be more subtle than just asking or like sending a wishlist because apparently that's selfish and entitled. but my parents aren't too good with like just knowing what i want. but they never ask either. lately they've just been doing food? like they'll take me to some vegan restaurant because i never get to go because it's too expensive/too far away. but then just money as a gift because they don't actually know what to get me. and last year they didn't get me shit because i had already gotten bts tickets, except the pandemic happened and i never got to go?? so i basically skipped my birthday last year... i feel like it should be different this year tho? i mean, sixteen is pretty big right? and i mean, shinee r having a concert + comeback so this would be a nice opportunity to buy the ticket legally and get the lightstick and preorder their album. like first shinee concert, first kpop lightstick, first kpop album would be a dope af gift. if i was a parent i'd have that shit in the bag fr.
remember how i said they're super bad at getting hints? so i just casually brought up that i want to get shinee's concert and you know what my mom said? 'you're not going to any stupid concert until we get our money back from those bts tickets.' and when i was like 'oh i want it, like, as a birthday gift' she was like 'oh.' oh? so yeah, they forgot.
but either way, it's gonna be food again, money, or a phone. cause yeah, i dont have a phone yet. even tho im literally gonna be sixteen and my parents have been yelling at me to get a job immediately after my birthday if i dont want to bother with getting good grades for college. like oh rlly dad? how do you expect me to go work at a fcking grocery store for 8 hours without a phone to contact anyone? anyways, i should be happy about that right? but honestly idk. because i know they'll just get me some shitty lg or whatever and i'll be stuck with it for however long. i feel like having a phone and more access to social media will probably be bad for my mental health and it'll just end up being another way for my parents to control me. watch them put tracking apps on it lol. and i'd rather have kpop stuff because shinee actually makes me happy and a phone is just a necessity atp. like it seems privileged, but in my community, like every student around me has had a phone since like 3rd grade. it's not like we live in some rich white neighborhood or something either.
there's one thing i can look forward to. there's this christian club at my school, and the leader of it is friends with my mom. so i go do activities with the club sometimes. and just hang out with her in general. and the other week we went to this boba place and when i told her my birthday was coming up, she offered to take me to chinatown for my birthday to check out this kpop shop. so that's pretty cool! honestly it's rlly nice to have an adult person in my life who cares about me and doesn't place any expectations on me and does nice things for me out of the kindness of her heart.
so uh what y'all think? should i just send my lil birthday list pinterest board to my mom at this point? should i bring up what i want to do for my birthday in a conversation and hope my dad doesn't bring up my grades like usual? should i just let them figure it out and graciously accept whatever happens with a smile? and how did u celebrate your 16th birthday? im curious, especially if it was during the pandemic. did it live up to your expectations?
is it obvious that i don't have a phone or social media or like... friends? or shit to do? just based off of the things i post here? i feel kind of bad about it since this is literally a kpop forum and idk y'all and most of y'all are rlly good with keeping your distance and not sharing too much personal stuff here. and i feel like it's awkward to post this kind of stuff here. but ppl have posted worse. at least oversharing into the void is better than trolling or sending death threats to ppl right? sigh... this is what therapy is for and yet here i am... god this is pathetic and embarassing. im not gonna post this am i? but then again i went and typed all this shit up and i can't back out now. free entertainment for y'all ig...