anyways this is gonna be a depresing rant
so its been about 4 years now but i still get pretty sad over it
so basically the first guy that i ever liked was when i was in 8th grade. he was pretty ugly looking back at it but whatever it doesn't matter that much cuz it matters more about whats on the inside.
so anyways, he actually started texting me first and i barely knew about him before that ( it was basically my first interacting with a guy fr fr).
It was around the time i first started liking kpop too, so i was super obsessed with bts and was also into momoland's bboom bboom. i put the song on my ig story because of the question sticker along with a lot of other kpop related/questions i had replied to. he replied to the story and asked hey is this bboom bboom by momoland? i got super excited cuz this was a guy and said yes. and i didn't expect much to happen after the that but he kept the convo going. we kept talking and eventually i found out he was into kpop too more anime/jpop tho. we continued to talk and became pretty good friends on ig (sidenote: we went to the same school).
some months go on and i hear rumors from people that he has a gf but i never really confronted him about it cuz i really wasn't in the position to ask that. i also didn't wanna accept it deep down cuz atp i had kinda started to develop some feelings. (Another side note i became friends with this girl named *what ill call her* nora)
Nora is pretty nice and we clicked almost immediately despite being a year and a half older than me- she was also in the same homeroom as my crush. i wasn't aware that they were friends but soon learned that they were. whatever.
one day I'm talking to this guy and from what it seemed he was visibly flirting but i didn't wanna jump to conclusions so i ssed being the basic teen i was sent it to one of my friends she pretty much confirmed it and i was a little excited in the moment. we kept going like this for a while.
i ignored many red flags...
~firstly, he never hung out with me at school
~second, he would flirt with me but just not even glance at me much less smile
~ i went along with it even though it was kinda sus
time goes on and i eventually have a full one crush on him. absolutely whipped for his personality. but then i find out he is in fact dating. but i still don't know who it is. i started feeling a little guilty so i kinda hesitated with his flirting and became more closed up. I also became really close to Nora now.
She eventually asks me if i know who my crush is and im like oh yeah i do im not really close tho. so she tells me that she's dating him. and my heart really plummeted. i stopped replying to him really dryly because of the guilt and hurt i felt because of this. i was disappointed with myself.
and I'm still disappointed with myself for what i did next. i started talking to him again and i let him flirt. i really shouldn't have. and i realized that a few weeks later after hearing that apparently nora and him were pretty serious. i blocked him and told him not to text me again. it stayed like this for a few days but i still liked him so much and i was stupid so i unblocked him and he tried talking to me again and i let him talk to me until i blocked him again. and i left him blocked this time.
instead of waiting. he came to me the next day at school which was a first time and when some of my friends saw, they got pretty curious which i just shrugged off making some excuse. i honestly tried to explain why i didn't want to talk to him without bringing up nora cuz it honestly upset me just thinking about her with him. i feel really stupid for saying this but i really didn't like her as much anymore after i found out it was her.
he tried to push the line and kiss me. which was basically when i lost it. i broke out in tears and fucking lost it in front of him cuz of how pathetic he was being. i told him that i knew about his fucking gf and everything and i was going to tell her everything if he ever messaged me again. i could tell he was pretty socked cuz he stepped back and let me leave.
he never texted me after and i eventually moved on. but i ended up crushing on one his friends later who turned out
i haven't really told anyone about this and wanted to tell you guys ig don't cheat guys its not cool
