i was in such a good mood today before i dropped some stuff off to my friend at work. mind you, as of recently, i don't work there anymore.
anyways i talked to a few people outside before leaving, i explained what happened and they were lovely and sympathetic.
as i’m pulling out, i see the man i love waving to me and another girl waving to me saying hi. i was on the phone (but i wasn’t holding it up, it was plugged in to my car speaker) so i didn’t drive up to them to say hi for some reason, i just smiled and waved back. now i fear i messed up somehow or they think i’m rude or something or they expected me to go over and talk to them but i couldn’t. my head keeps playing back how i could’ve done this differently.
i texted him and he hasn’t replied yet
i got what i wanted (seeing him) but i feel like i blew it and now my mind just replays all the ways i could've done this better. like actually pulling over and talking to them. i don't know why i didn't. i'm disappointed in myself and scared that maybe they think different of me or i blew another chance to bond better with him.
i want to cry but i can't, i don't know what's wrong with me and i feel sick.
