Bullying scandals and idols, my opinion

    I know we are in a sensitive week in kpop as everybody and their moms are being accused of bullying and yes, it could be true or not so I'm gonna talk about the true ones where the idol itself and the company "acknowledge" the case..

    I, monalisalove :clown: , don't believe in this change of character some idols have. If you guys pay attention in the victims claim they say this: he/she bullied me, but stopped after becoming a trainee.

    B, this right here proves me that the idol is still shit bc why didn't he/she apologized right there?? Why just stop the whole bullying thing with no care about your victims feelings and play the dumb one and just live as fake as possible??? If you are so sorry to your fans (the fans always come first :clown: ) and the victims why didn't you apologize when you decided to become a idol? This reason of waiting to be called out and when called out just say sorry fans I love you, it's what makes me choose to not believe the idol. It's just ridiculous and to me it screams FAKE SHIT.


    THIS IS MY OPINION and you can continue supporting your "changed" idol, but let's not pretend they changed just bc we saw them crying on tv/sns :akorns:


    PS: I'm taking about the hypocrisy itself then they still being bad. They can change for sure and I do hope it, but I still find it a little shade...

    Quote from omnimorphism

    Not related to bullying, but I regret 2 things I did when I was young. I have thought about apologizing, but it was so long ago I don't think it's worth the trouble. Maybe the idols think the same.

    I know it's difficult to apologize, but I find it really hypocrite how they stop the bullying just bc they became trainees and tbh this is more of a big reason as why they should gather courage and apologize bc it's really a sad situation to the victim.

    Quote from monalisalove

    I know it's difficult to apologize, but I find it really hypocrite how they stop the bullying just bc they became trainees and tbh this is more of a big reason as why they should gather courage and apologize bc it's really a sad situation to the victim.

    I don't think they instantly change their minds. I think they stop it because they have more important things to worry about and don't have much free time. But they may regret their actions after they grow up.

    Quote from omnimorphism

    Not related to bullying, but I regret 2 fights I had when I was young. I have thought about apologizing after I figured out I was in the wrong, but it was so long ago I don't think it's worth the trouble. Maybe the idols think the same.

    there's a difference between fighting and bullying though.


    i've had fights with several people in high school. some of whom i apologised to already, some i have not yet. but i've never bullied and never got an apology from 2 girls who bullied me (1 in middle school, another when i transferred to another middle school).


    trust me, if it was just a stupid cat fight, the weight of the apology is lighter compared to when someone apologises for actually bullying another. it's different.

    Quote from monalisalove

    I know it's difficult to apologize, but I find it really hypocrite how they stop the bullying just bc they became trainees

    What do you mean? Do you think it would've been less hypocritical - therefore BETTER - for them to keep on being bullies? "Oh yes guys, I'm still a bully but I'm honest about it so it's cool right?" lmao

    Whatever the reason, when someone stops doing something bad on their own volition, it should be acknowledged as such.

    I don't understand the rhetoric, besides displaying your own misplaced sense of self righteousness. Which just sounds as much hypocritical since who can say you've never done some bad shit you quietly swept under the rug? Pretty convenient if you ask me.


    Yes people change. Some people used to be in racist gangs and then reformed themselves, now promoting anti racism. That happens.

  • AllKill VIP

    But like what you expect them to do?


    Go through a list of old contacts in their school time and think who they mistreated? Call them up?


    You want them to be like 'hey it's me xxxxx, remember this incident whereby I called you dumb for not knowing how to do a math question? I'm so sorry about it. If it's OK with you can we meet up so that I can apologise in person?'

    Quote from icyruios

    But like what you expect them to do?


    Go through a list of old contacts in their school time and think who they mistreated? Call them up?


    You want them to be like 'hey it's me xxxxx, remember this incident whereby I called you dumb for not knowing how to do a math question? I'm so sorry about it. If it's OK with you can we meet up so that I can apologise in person?'

    And don't forget "do you mind if I record the whole encounter so you can't turn against me a few years from now and pretend this apology never happened? thanks a lot, you're such a bestie!"

    Quote from monalisalove

    I, monalisalove :clown: , don't believe in this change of character some idols have. If you guys pay attention in the victims claim they say this: he/she bullied me, but stopped after becoming a trainee.

    it also depends when they became a trainee. If they became a trainee way after the incident it is totally possible they changed. If its just few months they could be the same person. Becoming a trainee isn't something that will change your mind instantly. Its more a matter of time than anything else.


    Quote from monalisalove

    B, this right here proves me that the idol is still shit bc why didn't he/she apologized right there?? Why just stop the whole bullying thing with no care about your victims feelings and play the dumb one and just live as fake as possible??? If you are so sorry to your fans (the fans always come first :clown: ) and the victims why didn't you apologize when you decided to become a idol? This reason of waiting to be called out and when called out just say sorry fans I love you, it's what makes me choose to not believe the idol. It's just ridiculous and to me it screams FAKE SHIT.

    Its not the idols who manage their public appearances and responses, its the company. If the company judges that not making a statement for now is the best strategy, they won't do any statement. Screaming Fake Shit won't do anything when it is in fact a company behind those idols who control everything those idols do when they are under contracts.


    I think not making a statement is a dumb strategy if you already recognized there were in fact bullying, but i can understand why they would do that (waiting the gp to calm down), trying to sneak the way out of this situation.

  • AllKill VIP

    I think this is to black and white.


    There are many reasons they didn’t apologize.


    1. they were not aware of how much they hurt a certain person, so they didn’t apologize.


    2. Many trainees barely go to school after starting the training, so they probably just didn’t had the chance to meet the person again to apologize.


    3. Since they were absent from school they probably forgot the victim since they had other things to focus on.


    4. They didn’t apologize because they might be more to the story then reported. You know there are often two sides of a story.


    Also people can change, there is not such thing as bad person and good person, there are people who do more mistakes then others. Everyone is capable of changing we all did things we regret now being older.


    But yeah you can’t tell if a person you don’t know personally really changed or not so you can’t 100% call it a fact that they have changed or not, it’s up to you to decide what you want to believe.

    Quote from Alex_Murphy

    What do you mean? Do you think it would've been less hypocritical - therefore BETTER - for them to keep on being bullies? "Oh yes guys, I'm still a bully but I'm honest about it so it's cool right?" lmao

    Whatever the reason, when someone stops doing something bad on their own volition, it should be acknowledged as such.

    I don't understand the rhetoric, besides displaying your own misplaced sense of self righteousness. Which just sounds as much hypocritical since who can say you've never done some bad shit you quietly swept under the rug? Pretty convenient if you ask me.


    Yes people change. Some people used to be in racist gangs and then reformed themselves, now promoting anti racism. That happens.

    Not at you twisting my words kkk I was pretty clear about this. It's not about them continuing the bullying and more about: if you stopped, please go say sorry to the ones you hurt. It's not difficult. Defending the act it's not cute as people are still hurt by their actions. Nothing dramatic neither super difficult. Just apologize you know?


    And you can try to come at my actions too :clown: let's all accuse each other of being shit people, but let's not touch our bias who are proved as bullies :clown: and I'm talking about the cases where the bullying were confirmed.

    Quote from icyruios

    But like what you expect them to do?


    Go through a list of old contacts in their school time and think who they mistreated? Call them up?


    You want them to be like 'hey it's me xxxxx, remember this incident whereby I called you dumb for not knowing how to do a math question? I'm so sorry about it. If it's OK with you can we meet up so that I can apologise in person?'

    I'm talking about the severe cases, why are you acting as if bullying is just calling others dumb??

    Bullying is way worse, but I see where you are coming from, from your ass to defend your faves, nothing new.

    Quote from motorp77

    it also depends when they became a trainee. If they became a trainee way after the incident it is totally possible they changed. If its just few months they could be the same person. Becoming a trainee isn't something that will change your mind instantly. Its more a matter of time than anything else.


    Its not the idols who manage their public appearances and responses, its the company. If the company judges that not making a statement for now is the best strategy, they won't do any statement. Screaming Fake Shit won't do anything when it is in fact a company behind those idols who control everything those idols do when they are under contracts.


    I think not making a statement is a dumb strategy if you already recognized there were in fact bullying, but i can understand why they would do that (waiting the gp to calm down), trying to sneak the way out of this situation.

    I liked your answer. :thumbup:

    Thanks for being rational and I did sound aggressive, but I know what bullying is and how much it can affect others life so yes...

  • AllKill VIP
    Quote from icyruios

    Ah ok, no point having a conversation with you if you are going to reply like that. Not worth my time. Peace out pbk

    Oh please, it's the same as the situation you were defending about :eyes: am I not your fave?

    But my point stands. I'm talking about the type of bullying who gives mental problem, who is the reason of the suicide rate be so high among teens, not difficult to understand.

    The problem with all of this is that we can never really know, yet we all act like we should be judge and jury over everything an Idol has ever done in their life. Who told us to judge these people based on facts that we may not even have? I would love to have the life story on every one these people calling out these Idols for things they may or may not have done years ago. I bet these people accusing them never did anything wrong, and if they did they apologized publicly right away, right? I think the true hypocrites are the accusers, not the Idols themselves.

    Quote from monalisalove

    Not at you twisting my words kkk I was pretty clear about this. It's not about them continuing the bullying and more about: if you stopped, please go say sorry to the ones you hurt. It's not difficult. Defending the act it's not cute as people are still hurt by their actions. Nothing dramatic neither super difficult. Just apologize you know?


    And you can try to come at my actions too :clown: let's all accuse each other of being shit people, but let's not touch our bias who are proved as bullies :clown: and I'm talking about the cases where the bullying were confirmed.

    People tend not to linger over the bad shit they've done. Even if, in retrospect, they realize what they did was bad and feel ashamed about it, they're just gonna brush it off because ultimately what's done is done, no one can change the past. ESPECIALLY when we're talking about things from their school days. As an adult, you usually have other shit to deal with than dwelling on your childhood over and over.


    I understand it's not that easy if one has suffered from really hard hitting shit. But let's not take as a rule that everything mean a kid may have done to another is automatically a trauma-inducing disaster of lifetime proportions. Because it's not true. So we should stay away from broad generalizations and study every case individually and independently when necessary. But people don't do that; as soon as someone say the word 'bully' they freak out, get triggered and start erecting gallows.

    Quote from Alex_Murphy

    People tend not to linger over the bad shit they've done. Even if, in retrospect, they realize what they did was bad and feel ashamed about it, they're just gonna brush it off because ultimately what's done is done, no one can change the past. ESPECIALLY when we're talking about things from their school days. As an adult, you usually have other shit to deal with than dwelling on the past over and over.


    I understand it's not that easy if one has suffered from really hard hitting shit. But let's not take as a rule that everything mean a kid may have done to another is automatically a trauma-inducing disaster of lifetime proportions. Because it's not true. So we should stay away from broad generalizations and study every case individually and independently when necessary. But people don't do that; as soon as someone say the word 'bully' they freak out, get triggered and start erecting gallows.

    Ok, this point I understand and agree to some extent. But it really irritate me how fans (in general) react as if their faves just called others dumb when the victims said how bad the situation was, but I'm really talking about the severe cases. As other user answered here a fight it's different from bullying.

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