RE: Did you change from your teenager years?

Quote from Ves

The "shunning" except when they wanted something really made me somewhat of a bitter person towards them and I withdrew inwardly

Wow, now that you put this into words I realized I can relate to this a lot I was hostile to new people because I thought they wanted something from me and sometimes I wonder if they just wanted to be friends.. This behaviour went till college I think, but now I'm not like this at all, thankfully.

Quote from Ves

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Did you change from your teenager years?

This is influenced by the Garam case ofc, but I was wondering how many of you changed from your teenage years. The reason I got curious is because this case made me reflect a little bit about the people I've met in school and even myself... there were bullies in my school and I realized that if I ever met them again I would presume they still have the same nasty personality they had in the past, but, at the same time, isn't this unfair? I know I've changed a lot, I wasn't horrible per se but I…

OP

May 17th 2022

Yes, I very introverted in high school. I went to a very rich high school as the scholarship kid and as a result, and felt I was shunned by the rest of kids unless they needed help with a subject etc. It didn't help that I was a minority in a majority white school without even money to back me up. The "shunning" except when they wanted something really made me somewhat of a bitter person towards them and I withdrew inwardly, spending a lot of my time making up that money by making websites for people in the school library on my free time. My only friends were the other nerds and we were all kinda bitter.

I didn't really like who I was and in college vowed to stop start enjoying life more as no one knew me or where I came from and there were no expectations on how I was. I became a lot more extraverted and a lot happier for it. And I also changed my views on a lot of things I used to think. I look back and realize a lot of my own insecurities were projected onto my beliefs - they weren't necessarily the truth, just how my mind colored it.

Back to high school in particular since that's what this is about - maybe some of those kids didn't shun me to the extent I believed they did* Maybe part of it was also on me because I didn't exactly give off a friendly persona and in some cases I'm sure I might have even appeared hostile and defensive. Maybe the people I hung out with had something to do with it because we were all kinda bitter. Most of those nerds have changed (and we're still friends) though a few (notably one) remains the same. It is hard for me to be around her these days as she continues to be very bitter.

*I exclude my actual bully from this, as he was totally in the wrong, but he actually apologized to me years later and I accepted.

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well I am still in my teenage years so just going to a bunch of adults talking about their cringe teenage days in the 80s and 90s.

I was a pure mess lol. In the sense of being an overly emotional, short-tempered teenager. Learned to control more of my temperament and I'm calmer now. Anxiety and insecurities still exist, but somehow working on them. And I seem more content in being a lone wolf (I was and still I am a lonely person, but it doesn't make me as insecure as I were during my teenage years).

Not really. I was the shy one at school and still am. I'm the one who gets shat on in life because people see me as weak just because I am meek. I'm hardly weak, I'm stronger than half the people put together and been through a whole lot more without the fuss.

high school hmmm...

older and wiser maybe??? but generally I think I am pretty similar

"Instead of getting bullied, be the bully" - Confucius

I've changed a lot, reading my teenage diary makes me cringe so hard. Everything was a drama to me. I also thought feminism was unfair to men and I didn't see the "need for it" cause women were already equal in all aspects lol...school is a very insulated environment in many ways. Once I went outside into the real world I realised a lot of that just isn't true.

I'm still pretty shy but I couldn't go through a presentation in school without shaking and by now I'm only "normal" nervous. I liked my high school experience for the most part (middle school sucked lol my class was insane, boys were constantly throwing shit around that hit us, girls were in cliques and everyone hated each other), but I wouldn't want to go back.

I used to lie a lot when I was a teenager. And when I say it I mean A LOT. Like I wouldn't hesitate to lie even for the most silliest thing ever. I thought nobody would notice. But later on I realized I was a very bad liar and people used to just ignored my habit, instead of confronting me about it.

Anyways, I do think I've changed. I still do lie, but it's nowhere as bad as I used to do. I'm more self aware about how people view me as a person.