Do you think going dutch on expenses makes a relationship less romantic?
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I think it depends on your love language. If your love language is acts of services or gifts then I can see why going Dutch would be less romantic.
Personally I don't mind going dutch in a relationship. The turn off is when I'm expected to pay for the entire meal each time like with my ex-boyfriend.
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Yeah he sucked. MAJOR TIME. He even made me pay for his gas whenever we'd go on dates.
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Yeah he sucked. MAJOR TIME. He even made me pay for his gas whenever we'd go on dates.
gas too????
I mean everyone paying for their own plane tix and meal is ok but like hauling for gas money is just......
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I think it depends on your love language. If your love language is acts of services or gifts then I can see why going Dutch would be less romantic.
Personally I don't mind going dutch in a relationship. The turn off is when I'm expected to pay for the entire meal each time like with my ex-boyfriend.
So you aren't rich just in akorns
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I prefer going dutch. I'm in a long term relationship, sometimes he paid the meals, other times I paid, we don't like to share gifts and that's normal for us, usually outsider think we aren't romantic because we don't care about gifts, but I don't think material things it's always the right way to show love.
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I think it can make it less romantic depending on how you do it. Instead of 50/50 every time, I prefer if we share different expenses.
With my ex, he almost always paid when we went out. But when we went to the cinema or something he would pay for the tickets and I pay for the popcorn and drinks. Sometimes the one who was faster pays. We sometimes even fought, but then paid lol. But I would then buy him stuff he needed or wished really badly like a specific video game, clothes or accessories because he would also gift me a lot.
My parents have a shared bank account so it doesn’t matter who pays cause it’s their money.
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gas too????
I mean everyone paying for their own plane tix and meal is ok but like hauling for gas money is just......
Literally I don't know how I didn't see the red flags! He was basically just using me as a Sugar Mama.....
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I can only speak for myself. If I plan dates or am the one that suggested we go somewhere, I pay.
But I also like to see a give and take. Like, if we go out to lunch randomly someday and she decides to pay, I'm okay with that. Or if she suggested an activity and wants to pay for it, I have no problems with that.
So I don't have a strictly 50/50 all the time rule. More of a varied amount on both sides, if that makes sense.
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I struggle with this because I’m very independent and prefer to take care of myself (men always want to fight about this when you want to pay, even when you’re just out with a friend for drinks), but I have a friend who was in a relationship where she made more and so always reached for her card for meals and stuff m and he had a little bit of an emotional breakdown one night about feeling less of a man and how she must look down on him because he couldn’t take care of/treat her. For better or worse, society puts a lot of expectation on men being the breadwinner or the person who pays and “takes care” of their spouse/partner so I think even if you the lady are not putting that pressure, the man may be feeling it. I honestly hadn’t thought about that aspect.
(I don’t think she did either..)
I’m still independent but I’ve learned to try and find a balance. My current dude if he had his way would pay for everything all the time (this is both a cultural thing and a part of his love language), but he too tries to find a balance - so like when we went to dinner with my parents, he paid, but then when he and I went on a date night at a fancy restaurant, I paid but that’s because I got my card out faster. 😂
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I prefer going dutch. I'm in a long term relationship, sometimes he paid the meals, other times I paid, we don't like to share gifts and that's normal for us, usually outsider think we aren't romantic because we don't care about gifts, but I don't think material things it's always the right way to show love.
I'm someone who doesn't have any space for gifts
If I want sth, I'd buy it for myself right away
Other people can only buy me things I don't want so getting gifts isn't really that exciting
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Paying for stuff by itself isn't romantic - the thought behind the action is. So it's all a matter of intent for me.
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Sometimes I gifted my boyfriend with money, my family treated me as I commited a crime
Like, at least he would buy something useful for him -
Sometimes I gifted my boyfriend with money, my family treated me as I commited a crime
Like, at least he would buy something useful for himFor me I hate chores
if someone does a chore for me, I would be over the moon
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The turn off is when I'm expected to pay for the entire meal each time like with my ex-boyfriend.
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O‾O‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾O
Me and the boys gonna go on a crusade
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I'll strive to pay for it; I was raised in a culture that the guy pays the check but I'll go dutch if she insists.
Similarly, it feels weird for me that someone else holds/carries my bag for me, especially if I invited them out. I'm usually the one doing the carrying and I'm quite comfortable continuing like that. Old habits die hard as it is.
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I'll strive to pay for it; I was raised in a culture that the guy pays the check but I'll go dutch if she insists.
Similarly, it feels weird for me that someone else holds/carries my bag for me, especially if I invited them out. I'm usually the one doing the carrying and I'm quite comfortable continuing like that. Old habits die hard as it is.
I make a good salary
sth like a money for dinner isn't really significant t to me. It's like not sth I will remember someone by.
Now if someone does my dry cleaning errand, then they are golden boy in my eyes 👀
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