I'm not ready to start anything yet. Don't get me wrong, I have interest in him and he knows 😆
But I want it to be someday, I just don't want to be now...and I don't know how to tell him it.
I don't know the first thing about being in a romantic relationship and I'm too afraid of messing up and ending things way too quickly. And I've also never been in a relationship with kissing or holding hands with a non-relative...really, none of that stuff.
I see him tomorrow and I feel regardless of what I say, things are going to be pretty awkward between us.
I also don't want to feel that emotional rollercoaster that comes with a relationship...at least, not until I'm ready. Call me coward but I don't know if I'd be emotionally able to handle arguments or a break up. I don't even know what I look for in a partner because I've truly never thought about it. My goal was kind of to get through high school without a relationship outside of a friendship but with him, I REALLY don't know.
It's because I was always taught to focus on my studies and to avoid a romantic relationship in general. I also was always self conscious and didn't think there were people out there that actually found me "attractive" per se.
In short, my dilemma is my close friends that we share mutual feelings for asked me to take our friendship to the "next level" but I'm simply not ready. I'm nervous to tell him for the fear that it could be super awkward for us and that his feelings could be hurt. And I do have an interest in him but I want to take it slower, I'm not ready.
I need help!