Idols shouldn’t date their fans!

  • AllKill VIP

    I think Idols dating or hooking up with fans is kinda meant to end up bad.


    It already starts with one having the advantage of being put on a pedestal and having people viewing them in a certain (obviously good) way, without earning it. This makes it harder for a fan, who already has a premeditated opinion of their fave and now overwhelmed that their Oppa is interested in them, to detect red flags when they are dealing with a player.


    The bigger of course the disappointment when you find out your fave isn’t that nice little angel you thought they were. And the bigger probably the resentment and feeling deceived and used?… and the bigger the urge to expose ?


    And if such a relationship ends in bad terms and these heart broken fans expose them, no matter how much the Idol is to blame for something that went down, they will be viewed as the person in power here, so they lost anyway. They can’t even explain their side of the story cause it would just make things worse, they can only apologize or say nothing, either way will make them look guilty to many.


    So these male Idols should be more careful in who they engage with and how they engage with people, cause they are the public person, it’s their image. I can understand it’s easier to date or hookup with someone who already has a crush on you, it’s less work, but you ain’t a regular dude tho. All this playing games ain’t worth a potential ruined career if you messed with the wrong people, it’s not worth doing so for anyone… playing games will bite you in your own butt one day.


    They should better stay away from fans for the sake of their fans and also their own good.

    well I agree, it's really messy but at the end of the day I don't care as long as it involves adults and is consensual.


    It's private life, make it stay private. Idk hypothetically if in were a fan and slept with an idol, damn, I'd keep my mouth shut

    dating your fans is really strange and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Half of the time the idol is dating their fan to manipulate them. Plus, it just doesn't feel genuine to date your own fan, why would you even do that? Who in their right mind scouts out their own fans through fan meetings or video calls? That's just weird.

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  • AllKill VIP
    Quote from ellenote

    dating your fans is really strange and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Half of the time the idol is dating their fan to manipulate them. Plus, it just doesn't feel genuine to date your own fan, why would you even do that? Who in their right mind scouts out their own fans through fan meetings or video calls? That's just weird.

    I wouldn’t go as far as to think that they usually have the intention to manipulate them… you can find a fan attractive and you might try your shoot. I’m pretty sure several Idols had genuine committed relationship with a fan… but since they weren’t players or treated them badly in any other way, there was no reason to expose them.


    But in general I think it’s better to not date a fan, especially not if you aren’t searching for a committed relationship, high chance that it can badly.

  • AllKill VIP
    Quote from dummi

    I agree with this sentiment completely, however my opinion on the situation as whole is that it shouldn't be public, period. And that these women knew what they were getting into when he told them about his (lack of) intentions to be with them. Idk man, maybe their feelings got in the way, but there is no villain here except for unchecked social hierarchy and idiocy.

    This will always be in the forefront of such a situation.

    Quote from ellenote

    dating your fans is really strange and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Half of the time the idol is dating their fan to manipulate them. Plus, it just doesn't feel genuine to date your own fan, why would you even do that? Who in their right mind scouts out their own fans through fan meetings or video calls? That's just weird.

    This. It sounds like op is blaming the fans for being a fan and liking their idol rather than the idols for being predatory toward fans. Wow. Kpop fans, never stop amazing.

  • AllKill VIP

    Agree. I think fans will always expect something from their idol. They have a certain image of the idol and when they get that their perfect Oppa (or whoever) isn't perfect like they imagined him to be, their perfect world gets crushed. And I think it wouldn't be good for idols to date their fans,because I think that a fan can give them a false sense of a relationship.


    But the question is also what definition of fan do we mean? There are also many people who are a fan of someone, but would not hesitate to tell the idol that he is an asshole when he behaves like that.


    I think a fan and idol relationship could easily become toxic.

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  • AllKill VIP

    I mean if it ends bad, it could be both side's fault too. The idol's fault for taking advantage of the fan's feelings and it's also the fan's fault for being too delusional.

    Quote from ellenote

    dating your fans is really strange and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Half of the time the idol is dating their fan to manipulate them. Plus, it just doesn't feel genuine to date your own fan, why would you even do that? Who in their right mind scouts out their own fans through fan meetings or video calls? That's just weird.

    Are you trolling lol? That shit has happened everywhere, since the beginning of time. Stars get laid at every stop on their tour by groupies, from Miami to Seoul, from Moscow to Buenos Aires. These fans LITERALLY LINE UP BY THE HUNDREDS TO GET PICKED.


    Only weird repressed Kpoppies get all agro about it. These are all consenting adults who make their choice.


    I do agree that ultimately it's foolhardy for stars to do it, especially in this day and age where everyone wants to coddle literal ADULTS. Best to date a fellow celebrity or someone of equal status.

  • AllKill VIP
    Quote from BlackpinkHouse

    Are you trolling lol? That shit happens everywhere, since the beginning of time. Stars get laid at every stop on their tour by groupies, from Miami to Seoul, from Moscow to Buenos Aires. These fans LITERALLY LINE UP BY THE HUNDREDS TO GET PICKED.


    Only weird repressed Kpoppies get all agro about it. These are all consenting adults who make their choice.


    I do agree that ultimately it's foolhardy for stars to do it, especially in this day and age where everyone wants to coddle literal ADULTS. Best to date a fellow celebrity or someone of equal status.

    I am very serious about this matter. :peperain:

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    Honestly I feel like dating an idol is depressing. They are not free to meet anywhere or anytime. A lot of times it becomes long distant because most idols travel a lot. Even in committed relationships they must hide the fact they’re dating so they act like the person they supposedly love don’t exist while keep “seducing” fans in shows.


    I never see my favs in ideally romantic light and even if I met them in real life I don’t have the desire to get to know them (even as friends) unless I was a celeb too. This might sound strange but they’re like movie or anime characters to me. I like whatever image they put on shows because it’s entertaining for me. Unless they do crime, I don’t give a shit what happens in their private lives if they’re not willingly sharing them. That goes for boys and girls.


    P.S: I am not shaming those who date idols obviously but just saying it’s depressing and never found it desirable.

    Quote
    Honestly, idols are already walking on a thin ice no matter what they do. The best choice for them is to date other idols.

    True. Less individuals feeling superior/inferior or different but we can’t control attraction I guess.

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    This is a terrible idea.


    First because the power inbalance is super uncomfortable.


    Second because there is no way the fan will not eventually talk about it. It just cannot end well.

    Quote from ellenote

    dating your fans is really strange and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Half of the time the idol is dating their fan to manipulate them. Plus, it just doesn't feel genuine to date your own fan, why would you even do that? Who in their right mind scouts out their own fans through fan meetings or video calls? That's just weird.


    THIS RIGHT HERE


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    Quote from neigl

    whatever you all are say how bad it is, all of you would still date your fave lol. :pepe-use-head:

    Dating an idol legit sounds like hell. Can't go on dates in public places, your bf or gf alway have to pretend to be single, saesengs following you everywhere, they're literally working everyday, without week-ends or holidays... no thanks.

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