A person in my life is the best thing to happen to me but I'd have to take a loan to repay even one of their gifts. I've had my family use the basic needs they've bought over my head so I'm uncomfortable with gifts in general and the price isn't helping here. I can't afford to do the same for them. I do gift them stuff back but ofc some people ignore it to suit their narrative of me.
Even if I like the gift I won't be able to wear it cuz people's tounges will start wagging. It looks shady even if its innocent and it bothers me a lot. It makes me feel cheap like I can't stand in front of those people even if what their awful minds think isn't what is actually going on.
Whenever I try to start a conversation it ends before it starts with a why do you care about society. I care cuz this has happened before with another just small gifts like chocolates and watches I tried to be bold about our love. We were basically kids but society and my own family slutshamed me even when nothing physical was going on and I started resenting those gifts. I dunno if its just me being paranoid or them needing to understand these gifts upset me. It makes me feel small that I can't afford stuff in the same range and the thought of what people will say alone is enough to eat up my peace.
I think I'll do it over text since I'm not that great at talking. Yep your right I think it's a gap in our communication after all! I rly hope it goes well and they don't get weirded out.
