Better to ask, or to give surprise?
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surprise, build up the anticipation.
except when it sucks, then it sucks
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I'm used to surprises. I have friends that I invite to my birthday parties or when they want to give me a gift for like a holiday or something, they catch me off guard sometimes when they ask "what do you want?"
And they didn't stop asking me until I told them what I wanted so yeah...it's a habit now.
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I prefer surprises and my friends too. So I always look for gift ideas on the Internet and on various sites like https://blablagifts.com/ in advance. My friends are all very different and it's always hard for me to choose something cool. Soon my friend has a birthday and I have some ideas for gifts but still don't know what to choose
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If it's not a close relative or friend then I don't ask (because it would be awkward and they'll definitely decline or not tell me the truth, but I always keep it simple and neutral)
When it's someone really close, like one of my sisters or nieces or my bff, then I ask them what they want or if they'd rather get money because I want to make sure it's something they absolutely like and want, or that in case they need money they get the option of getting money instead of a gift.
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