How much of transgression and wrongdoings committed as a minor can you forgive in your own personal relationships?


    Not about how the legal system should treat the minor criminals


    Just about how you personally feel about someone you might have a personal relationship with who as committed crimes as a minor.



    What kinda of crimes would you be able to overlook and what is sth you wont be able to get over and it will stop you from forming a personal attachment to the said person.



    Read the example I got from reddit under the spoiler for reference





    Redditor were on two opposite sides. Some thought she and government have no right to judge and control relationships of a minor, even if the said minor has committed crimes. On the other hand people were like you are absolutely out of your mind to even be in a relationship with a man who still defensive of their sons behavior.


    What do you think?

    Quote from ItsMilly43

    If I were that lady I wouldn't be asking reddit, I would just be leaving that person. Anyone who makes excuses/defends SA no matter the age of the person is really not someone to stay with.


    I think for me it would be petty crimes like stealing a candy bar as a child I could forgive because it's nothing serious, but serious crimes, assault, SA, etc, I couldn't do it. Even drink driving I would really not trust that person.

    Like how could she possibly think it's OK to put her two young kids in that situation?


    I read in an update that father of her children is taking her to court over this and suing for full custody

    Quote from ItsMilly43

    Exactly. At 11 and committing SA, with a father who is basically telling him he did nothing wrong (that's how I see the defensiveness, maybe I'm wrong), and the fact that he's breaching his probation and no one is taking any action.


    She should be done for child endangerment if she moves in with the kids. I hope father gets full custody and keeps them safe.


    I mean, an SO of three days though, already moving in and planning to get married, and unsure if moving in with someone who commits a gangr..e and a father who defends it. She doesn't sound like the most stable person anyway

    Oh shoot that was a typo


    3 years


    That makes it more sketch bc the guy hid the situation during their 3 year relationship

    It would not be a good idea for her to move in with him if he has kids that's done that. They're pretty serious offences and ones that could not be forgiven even as a minor. I would be questioning the parenting also.

    I mean I would not form a relationship with that father if he's being defensive about that. I can't really think of a personal relationship of mine where the other person committed anything extreme but let's just say rape at any age is definitely unforgivable. So many other other wrongdoings that you would have to ask me on a case by case basis.

  • AllKill VIP

    I'm a consequentialist meaning I look at the consequences of the action to judge the person who undertook them...


    so if you committed a wrong it would depend on the consequences of the action

    let's say you bullied someone and they took their own life - even though you might have had no malicious intent or you were a kid you caused someone's death

    Murder, rape and severe bodily harm are unforgivable to me. Minor or not, I can never see myself being on good terms with anyone guilt of these crimes.


    The rest stuff, it depends on the severity of the crime, the actions of the person since conviction/punishment and whether I believe they have changed for the better.

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