Can people change?

  • This was inspired by the bullying scandals, however I'm posting it to the lounge as it's a general life question.


    Can people change who they are at their core? Can a mean person (for instance a high school bully) over time transform into a good person? or do you believe that people inside don't change, rather with age people mature and learn how to conduct their behavior to survive in society?

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  • Can people change who they are at their core? Can a mean person (for instance a high school bully) over time transform into a good person? or do you believe that people inside don't change, rather with age people mature and learn how to conduct their behavior to survive in society?

    It’s a mix of both in my opinion.


    Some things don’t change as they are part of your personality. But your world view and values can change. Especially with experience and hindsight and of course you getting more mature, you start to get a better understanding towards certain things.


    There is not such thing as a bad person or good person. Our personality is a mix of inherited traits and childhood experience… our environment. So it can evolve over time. So yeah… a mean bully can change this aspect of their personality over time… either because they truly regret it, as their behavior was some form of coping mechanism because of traumas they had themself… or because they learned how to conduct their behavior to survive in society or both.


    But isn’t it the case with all of us ? From an early age the majority of us was taught what’s good and bad. Not just for us to be decent people, but also to not get disadvantages for being antisocial as this can cause us troubles. So those who were not raised with these teachings or those whose guardians didn’t put much emphasis on it might end up antisocial. They (if they don’t have a personality disorder) usually grow out of their toxic behavior the older they get.

  • This was inspired by the bullying scandals, however I'm posting it to the lounge as it's a general life question.


    Can people change who they are at their core? Can a mean person (for instance a high school bully) over time transform into a good person? or do you believe that people inside don't change, rather with age people mature and learn how to conduct their behavior to survive in society?

    Change in hormone levels, neuroplasticity and change in brain structure, events like losing family members, friends, health problems, being part of the work force or just traveling or moving out of home, and the simple fact of accumulating more experiences, knowledge and wisdom as one grows old means that change is inevitable.


    Now, can an asshole stop being an asshole? In cases of people with low empathy (psychopaths), or people with anti-social behaviour or personality disorders that is difficult I guess, but could happen with proper professional help. For the rest, yes it is possible to become a completely different person, I would say it in more cases it is the case. And even if they don't really change, the consequences are completely different in the adult world. You act as an asshole in your work, it is possible you will be fired, act like an asshole on the street, you never know how the other person would react in a given situation, and so on. So while they could still be assholes, they don't act it out as much.


    You should check theory of mind if you are interested in this, I know it is the area of psychology which studies these things, but I am not a psychologist so there's that.

  • No they don't change . They'll only change if something miserable happens to them. Like next level miserable.

    ღ(¯`◕‿◕´¯) ♫ ♪ ♫ ʀօֆɛ ♫ ♪ ♫ (¯`◕‿◕´¯)ღ

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  • Actually you can. It's called acceptance and growth. Even if you were nurtured and brought up that way, if you put the effort forth you can. It's all in the way you see yourself and your environment. But you are also correct, there are some things we cant change. But we can grow from them.

    No, you can't. Now go and take a walk sis.

  • This was inspired by the bullying scandals, however I'm posting it to the lounge as it's a general life question.


    Can people change who they are at their core? Can a mean person (for instance a high school bully) over time transform into a good person? or do you believe that people inside don't change, rather with age people mature and learn how to conduct their behavior to survive in society?

    No one is born bad, bad habits get imprinted on them at a age where they know no different. This could be trauma, bad surrounding, uncarring/no parents. This 100% can be changed in the same kind of way, something like a reality check as a example. No one is born bad, and imo only a few people are un=saveable

  • Ah, your sadness, anger, and negativity still rolls on. You should be the one taking a walk, asking yourself why you're this way. You're the perfect example of what I just said. God Bless sweetie.

    Lmao why so angry :pepewhat: this thread isn't about me..

  • No one is born bad, bad habits get imprinted on them at a age where they know no different. This could be trauma, bad surrounding, uncarring/no parents. This 100% can be changed in the same kind of way, something like a reality check as a example. No one is born bad, and imo only a few people are un=saveable

    You can change kids when they are young to become good adults, but adults don't change, unless something terrible happened to them, like they became crippled and experienced what it feels like to be powerless and weak.

  • Possibly, over time a person can change either for the better or worse. I believe everyone has the power to change but only if they see a need to. Some may see the error of their ways and wake up but others become more bitter. It depends on the individual and what they’ve experienced I guess.


  • Change in hormone levels, neuroplasticity and change in brain structure, events like losing family members, friends, health problems, being part of the work force or just traveling or moving out of home, and the simple fact of accumulating more experiences, knowledge and wisdom as one grows old means that change is inevitable.


    Now, can an asshole stop being an asshole? In cases of people with low empathy (psychopaths), or people with anti-social behaviour or personality disorders that is difficult I guess, but could happen with proper professional help. For the rest, yes it is possible to become a completely different person, I would say it in more cases it is the case. And even if they don't really change, the consequences are completely different in the adult world. You act as an asshole in your work, it is possible you will be fired, act like an asshole on the street, you never know how the other person would react in a given situation, and so on. So while they could still be assholes, they don't act it out as much.


    You should check theory of mind if you are interested in this, I know it is the area of psychology which studies these things, but I am not a psychologist so there's that.

    great answers guys (and everyone else who comments on my threads of course)! in depth discussions like these are what I believe forums are for :)

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