How to deal with a toxic friend? (any answer is appreciated!)

This isn't the best idea but:

uhmmm I'd say that cutting ties with them and bearing the weight of the aftermath is maybe a better way to go. If have like highschool ahead of you, then you can take the chance of the "new school, new me" sort of idea -- join some clubs while you're at it!

Even if you are already in highschool -- I'd say that its best to still split off. Highschool is big enough that you can usually avoid them. Just do things like change where you might hang out at breaks or lunch, etc. just go around places differently.

Yeah cut her off she's not worth it

She sounds like a snake

It’s time to cut her off, so she doesn’t manipulate you any further

You'll find people who love you for real without trying to put you down. Until then you have us.

Dump them, it’s blunt but works.

first try to communicate with her and sit down to just talk to see if you can air out your differences and why you and she behaves that way...

like a serious talk that covers deep substantive issues and not surface level issues...

if it doesn't work then she was never your friend to begin with

Love them from far away. By loving and forgiving that person, you can move on with your life without holding onto the toxic energy associated with the person which can happen unconsciously sometimes.

People who treat others without regard usually don't change overnight. Some are so messed up inside that even if you are direct about the issue, they will deflect it instead of honestly considering they might have issues they need to work on within themselves.

My sister had a similar toxic friend. She tried everything to keep the friendship, but her friend would listen to my sister's grievances, change her behavior for a bit a return to her toxic self again. After years of trying, my sister cut any ties with her. If your friend is this kind, just cut off any ties if you can.

In my sister case, she was a coworker as well. Basically my sister changed industry completely (which she was planning to). I'd even consider changing schools as well.

Cut her off. You owe her nothing.

I think its best not to have a fair weather friend than to have one and deal with their mood swings. A friendship has to be as close to a 50:50 as it can be ofc there may not be many opportunities to show it tho. I think you can stay ok with them on a surface level but don't let it go deeper.

cut her off. You deserve better friends than that.

Sorry this happened to you.

One thing I have to say though, is that we have to take responsibility for our actions. We all ask to be treated a certain way. If you allow your friend to keep treating you this way again and again, you are basically telling her to continue.

We can only truly move forward successfully if we accept full responsibility for the way someone has treated us- for allowing them to continue with it time and time again.

Your friend is trash and you're allowing her to be. It's not the part about borrowing things from you or taking advantage that irks me as much as her trying to ostracize you and make others cut you off. That is plain trashy.

I would actually bet that your friend doesn't treat every person in her life this way- there are some people that she probably met and didn't even bother to be friends with because those people gave off a vibe like "I love myself, I don't need you, don't mess with me"-- a confident vibe. I get the feeling she's probably the kind of person who wants her friends to do as she says so she doesn't befriend people who will treat her as an equal rather than treating her as a superior.

You need to cut her off. But that's easier said than done. You need to work on your self-love and self-worth. Respect yourself more than anything else or anyone. You are perfect as you are. You don't NEED anyone and you only deserve good friends. Rather, your friend doesn't deserve you in any way. Realize that you are bigger and better than this and cut her off. It does not matter if you are left as a loner. You should affirm that you are so likable and charismatic that it doesn't matter if she tells people to not be your friend, regardless- you will have friends. People will still be drawn to you because of how great you are.

Trust me, I think the root of all of this is self-love and self-respect. Work on yourself every day and day by day, it will be THAT much easier to cut her off.

Cutting her off in the state that you are in might just make you succumb to her manipulation and take her back as a friend, since it has happened before. She will think "ok...I can get her back to being my friend" and use her usual sneaky tactics and then you're her friend again.

Work on yourself from within.

There is NO reason that this girl should be your ONLY friend, aside from you believing that she is your only friend and the only hope you have. If you believe that, that is the way things are going to be.

Nothing is going to change without you changing first.

Tell yourself that you can make friends everyday because it is true. There is nothing out there that someone else has that you cannot get. The only thing you need is confidence.

So, please cut this girl off. But before that, please work on yourself and see yourself as a wonderful, confident, amazing person who can get and do anything. Tell yourself that daily. Do not respect ANYONE more than you respect YOURSELF. Once you master that, standing up to anyone is a piece of cake.

She's no match for you.

Quote from Marsh26

So i've had this friend for about 6 years now and she used to always ask for everything a little of my lunch my library book ect. and would not do anything for me and never took my side and made fun of me every day. when i refused her she wouldn't talk to me at all and told people to stay away from me. and her being my only friend, i would always say sorry and go back to giving her everything she wanted. she ruined my self-esteem and my school experience. During quarantine my personality did a 180 (mostly because my older brother forced me to toughen up). i sometimes talk to her and shes really nice now but then again she was like that before if i gave her everything. idk what do anymore.

Having no friends is better than having these sort of "friends". Just drop her like a hot potato and move on with your life. Trust me, you'll be more than fine.