[instiz] AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO PRIORITIZES MY LOVER OVER MY FRIENDS?

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    If I have both of them book me on a meeting at the same time, of course I'd go with my loverBut my lover said he's only free on Mondays so whenever I have other things planned on Monday with my friends, I'd ask my friends to change their dates instead


    Isn't this something obvious to do? Or would you guys be annoyed from the friend's perspective?


    original post: here


    1. Me too I'd put my lover first and a previous engagement is a previous engagement (t/n: so in another comment, OP said that she had previously set the date with her friend first)


    2. You're honestly so unmannerly


    3. Of course your lover should come first, but also your previous engagement


    4. From your first sentence, it was still fine, but from the second sentence, you pissed me off


    5. As your friend, I'd be freaking pissed off


    6. If this keeps on happening twice or three times, you'll end up losing your friend


    7. But looking at people around me, there are more people who do it like you


    8. To me, previous engagements are always more important, once you become older, you'll realize that it's way harder to meet your firends and you'll realize that your boyfriend can adjust their times way more easily


    9. I'm in a long distance relationship so even my friends would tell me to just meet my boyfriend


    10. I'd understand if you were in a long distance relationship

    This is an issue not talked about enough


    Men keep their friendship and support system even when they are dating


    Women drop their friends and support system and isolate themselves when dating


    Frankly I hate people like that, after their relationship goes to shit they want to comeback and ask you to be a shoulder to cry on


    Fuck that, they make their beds and they can lay in it too

  • AllKill VIP

    I can understand if both asked to hang out on the same day and u prioritize your partner if that's their free day. However if you had previous plans and u break it to be with your lover that's a bit messed up. I'm sure your lover would understand if you had a previous engagement.

    Quote from Lulu_Key

    sorta

    I have had people like that in my social circle


    they were surprised no one wanted them back

    This right here is soo true. It's something I try to tell people. Friends is just as important of a relationship as family is if not more so. Because family has an obligation to love you because you are born into it. This is not true for friends, they loved you because they liked you and developed this bond with you, they have no obligations or reasons to care outside of doing it of their own free will, every sacrifice made and time spent with you was because they truly wanted to be with you, without needing or asking for anything else besides your friendship.


    A good example of it for some people is look at certain kpop groups like SHINee Ateez bts and stray kids. These are people who consider themselves family to each other they become that close and been through everything together and there for them through anything, they had no obligations to do any of it.


    Your lover is also important BUT you should always be mindful of your friends, you can easily lose your friends if you mistreat them.


    A famous quote from San of Ateez when he talked about how wooyoung had neglected his own best friend Yeosang, even though unintentionally. " Do not lose your relationships due to familiarity" basically what he said is complacency gets you killed. You taking the other person for granted thinking they will always be there etc regardless if you ignore them etc. Which isn't true they do not have to put up with you and will leave you, and when you need them most you'll realize they aren't there. It's like ignoring that grandparent you loved soo much and then they died and now you live with regrets everyday because you never got the chance to say goodbye. Except in this case this person is still alive but you can't reach them anymore.

    If her boyfriend is only free on Mondays, she can just tell her friends from the beginning that it would be better to make plans on the 6 other days of the week.


    But if she constantly make plans on mondays and then cancel them, then that would be annoying.


    I really hate it when people cancel their plans on me for stupid reasons that could've been avoided.

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