I Found Out That My Ex-Crush Knows I Had A Crush On Him(Advice?)

    I used to have this crush on this boy. I stopped liking him a while ago and the final nail to the coffin was when I found out that he used to have a gf.


    Few weeks ago someone I know told me that he knew all along, and his friends knew and they thought I was weird(understandable).


    I had no idea he knew, and all this time I thought it was a secret that barely anyone knew.


    And yeah it's been bothering me, especially considering I have a class with him now.


    My only consolation is that they said nobody cares, which I really hope nobody does cause it's been really awkward for me even though I am pretty sure it's one sided.


    I want to stop thinking about it whenever I see him and I was succeeding in that until I found out about this cus to me him knowing about this is embarrassing and I just want to dig a hole and die in it.


    So yeah, advice?

    if he doesn't do anything, then you should try to get over it imo. its likely he doesn't feel anything. and there's no point in getting caught up over it.

  • AllKill VIP

    This too shall pass. At least he's not being a total asshole and bullying for it. Speak from personal experience. I know how you feel and I know while you are in it, it feels like the worst, but really THIS TOO SHALL PASS.


    If you want to be like me (and I'm not encouraging this FOR REAL) make a plan to never be caught unaware again and just tell boys you like them upfront then ask them out. In my experience, people actually think confidence is cool and it tends to win enough points (or they're so shocked) that they actually say yes :* Yes, I also speak from experience, lol. Seriously never struck out once I just started asking my crushes out.

    Quote from Ves

    This too shall pass. At least he's not being a total asshole and bullying for it. Speak from personal experience. I know how you feel and I know while you are in it, it feels like the worst, but really THIS TOO SHALL PASS.


    If you want to be like me (and I'm not encouraging this FOR REAL) make a plan to never be caught unaware again and just tell boys you like them upfront then ask them out. In my experience, people actually think confidence is cool and it tends to win enough points (or they're so shocked) that they actually say yes :* Yes, I also speak from experience, lol. Seriously never struck out once I just started asking my crushes out.

    This! Listen to Ves. And not just with crushes, but if you think "Hey, that person seems cool, I want to be their friend." Just ask them to hang out at something specific so they can say yes/no. (I find the "do you want to do something sometime" is easy to say yes to because it's so non-committal. I legit have people I always say yes to because I know they don't actually mean to follow through with scheduling anything ever.)


    Even if someone says no, you'll (a) gain the confidence that you can survive it, (b) it becomes less of a big deal with the more data points you have, so asking feels less high stakes, and (c) you'll come to realize that no one else is focused on you as you are on you. Like your ex-crush isn't sitting around thinking about the fact that you had a crush on him; he's wondering what's for lunch, should he grab a jacket for his walk, does he want to watch this show...? I've found it's actually pretty freeing to realize that whatever big embarrassing thing you're worried about is, at best, a blip on other people's radars; they're too busy fretting over themselves just like you're fretting over you.

    let's be friends

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