I'm glad you've found the courage and strength to take the first step! Please keep us updated from time to time if and only if you want to, whatever you feel is best for you.
Life has its ups and downs and it won't always be easy, but you'll be fine as long as you remember you're a step further than you were before. You've got a good head on your shoulders and I know you'll be fine.
All the best.
I didn't know you very well and I hate to hear others suffering mental health issues as I know too well what it's like. I hope it all works out for you and yes we all need to take a break once in a while. It's ironic that the one place we can go to for the love of K pop can also be the most toxic. Take care.
Display MoreSo, I just wanted to do a little update here. It's rare that I feel emotions and get to express them. Today I feel extra happy and this is the best time to write about how people can improve.
I am out of that little bubble. Finally, I can control myself and live for myself. It was a little bit difficult though, I was living that second life because my whole lifestyle was fucked up. Doing nothing, laying on the bed, and not taking care of myself summed up with me having hormonal imbalance lead to losing interest in living. Won't lie I had people whom I could tell my problems but I know after a while I start with my age-old victim complex habit that leads to the other person walking on eggshells while having a conversation with me.
You see I love my mom a lot. She is one of the reasons that I don't quit, she believes in me no matter how dumb and incapable I am. Watching her going through a lot of trouble due to her health was really painful, she is the strongest woman that I have seen in my whole life, and her saying that she might d*e soon hurts a lot, pains me a lot because it's seriously not the time for her to go. I had to be strong for her. And strong enough to live my own life as well. I started everything from the scratch,
1) booked appointment with a nutritionist
2) started working out
3) changed my timetable
4) trying to improve my social anxiety
5) doing something for my career.
Obviously many things mentioned above are still -a work in progress, working out is something that I kept consistent; thanks to online college lol. The person I was 6 months back is nothing like the present nitroso. Even though it's hard to decrease the self-doubt that I have for myself but I do time to time remind myself that accepting your weaknesses is different from self-doubting about the weaknesses.
What do I expect next?
1) Improving myself to be a good and kind person.
2) Choosing a career path that includes an intersection of my hobby, passion, and money.
3) Educating people about social anxiety.
4) Learn new things and explore my age-old hobbies.
5) Teach my mom about self-love.
6) Lastly, to never be afraid of what the future holds.
random tags of people who replied to this thread and close people.
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU 
nitro i'm so proud and happy for you 
I hope you can do all the things that you wanted to do too 
It is so sad I just found out about this thread today. Never in my life have I heard such a depressing story, never in my life have I felt this sorry for someone. I wish my stupid dumbass idiot 13 year old self could understand you better. Please, I beg you to forgive me because I wish you the best life possible and I am so proud of you. I hope you understand how much this means to me, but I am still a fool so you are probably not going to take me seriously.....
Display MoreSo, I just wanted to do a little update here. It's rare that I feel emotions and get to express them. Today I feel extra happy and this is the best time to write about how people can improve.
I am out of that little bubble. Finally, I can control myself and live for myself. It was a little bit difficult though, I was living that second life because my whole lifestyle was fucked up. Doing nothing, laying on the bed, and not taking care of myself summed up with me having hormonal imbalance lead to losing interest in living. Won't lie I had people whom I could tell my problems but I know after a while I start with my age-old victim complex habit that leads to the other person walking on eggshells while having a conversation with me.
You see I love my mom a lot. She is one of the reasons that I don't quit, she believes in me no matter how dumb and incapable I am. Watching her going through a lot of trouble due to her health was really painful, she is the strongest woman that I have seen in my whole life, and her saying that she might d*e soon hurts a lot, pains me a lot because it's seriously not the time for her to go. I had to be strong for her. And strong enough to live my own life as well. I started everything from the scratch,
1) booked appointment with a nutritionist
2) started working out
3) changed my timetable
4) trying to improve my social anxiety
5) doing something for my career.
Obviously many things mentioned above are still -a work in progress, working out is something that I kept consistent; thanks to online college lol. The person I was 6 months back is nothing like the present nitroso. Even though it's hard to decrease the self-doubt that I have for myself but I do time to time remind myself that accepting your weaknesses is different from self-doubting about the weaknesses.
What do I expect next?
1) Improving myself to be a good and kind person.
2) Choosing a career path that includes an intersection of my hobby, passion, and money.
3) Educating people about social anxiety.
4) Learn new things and explore my age-old hobbies.
5) Teach my mom about self-love.
6) Lastly, to never be afraid of what the future holds.
random tags of people who replied to this thread and close people.
I am so happy you are doing better nitya! and I am very proud of you..
you are strong and amazing! I am very happy to see the recent developments!
and kudos to both you and your mom
Kat loves you 
I've never had the chance to know you here on AKP but I wish nothing but the best for you, and it warms my heart that you are doing better.
Mental health is very important and must be talked about, which I am so glad you are doing. You are a very brave person
you’re doing great, and what a lovely update!
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