I’m sorry you went through this, and it still is impacting you until now Hopefully you’ll be able to heal, gradually and surely. No one deserves to be bullied.
As someone who got bullied in HS, as well as molested by one of my bullies in front of a bunch of people with no one ever standing up nor seeing an issue in it… I 100% get you (and anyone who has troubles to move on for the matter)
You know you’re getting wronged somehow, but the way you get brushed off and people acting like you’re being « childish » and « dramatic » makes you bottle up everything and just endure it quietly. The few times you get mad and try to fight back, you get gaslighted into oblivion.
The thing is it creates you life long traumas and insecurities, that you may not even immediately realize were caused by the bullying… because you tried hard to make yourself believe everything was fine (If people just stood and watched, then it really wasn’t that bad right?)
You understand it sporadically, and it feels like you just fell from the clouds every time you get these immediate reactions and thoughts.
I still get emotional whenever I think about those two years and of what I could have done.