So I don't disagree with most of your points. There are a lot of conflicting interests on different sides and I have been careful to cast any one nation as wrong-headed, merely self-interested.
I might only point out that though the Soviet Union was the entity that helped split up the Koreas, NK effectively became closer to a satellite nation for who? China.
We're getting back to a Cold War, but I'd argue the specter of nuclear war was still pretty real in the 80's. It's not even close but I'm happy to chat if you lived through this time.
Your unity argument is overly simplified. I highly doubt Taiwan wants a unity where it needs to govern mainland China. I agree with the reverse though. After the Korean War, I doubt that SK wanted to unify right away--it was clear that unification would require another major war. Even now, Koreans are wary of reunification because of the economic consequences.
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North Korea effectively became closer to China because of Soviet Union's collapse. When Boris Yeltsin came into power after the establishment of the new Russian government, he supported South Korea over North Korea while China has continuously supported North Korea.
Although I didn't live through the 80s, I'm only 23, I've read a lot about the cold war. The nuclear threat still exist today, considering the fact more countries have nuclear weapons. Because of the NPT, an agreement where Russia and U.S. and many observers halted the development of Nuclear Arms and promoted Nuclear Energy, we do not see the same testing of nuclear weapons. However, just because the treaty exist, we shouldn't disregard the fact the nuclear tension doesn't. Just because no tests are exhibited doesn't mean we are free from a nuclear war. We live in a simulation era where scientist can predict the impact of the bomb without physically setting it off. I'm not sure if you have been aware of the hypersonic missile demonstration from Russia, those are meant for nuclear war heads, hence, the message has always been there but demonstrated in a differently. Russia, China, India, U.S. and other countries have been developing this technology for a while, because when it comes to nuclear warfare, the best offense is the best defense. Point is, the nuclear threat has always been there under our nose but it's hard for us to follow all the matters with technology advancing and normal citizens have so much more things to deal with these days.
When China first broke into two, mainland and Taiwan, Taiwan was economically and militarily stronger. That is why in their constitution, it claims mainland is under their sovereignty. Now that Mainland China is a superpower, at least economically, Taiwan doesn't have the capability and privilege to claim it anymore, they can only establish separation. The truth is, whoever is stronger, will always want unity.
Koreans clearly want unity, hence why we saw them as one entity in the 2018 Winter Olympics. The biggest problem with their unity is not only leadership but how to integrate North Koreans with the South Koreans without many socio-economic implications. It's pretty much near impossible for those two countries to unite without setting the South Koreans back. That is the reason why so many South Koreans are against it, but if that wasn't an issue, South Koreans wouldn't mind.
My main issue with a k-pop ban would be that the rationale is very arbitrary. It makes it seem like China was looking for an excuse to limit hallyu to develop local entertainment industries. This is well within the rights of China though.
I do take issue with things that the Chinese government says that are overly sensitive...it's not a good look. But I can also understand that the past, the "Century of Humiliation" in particular, would make any nation touchy.
China's been through many set backs, from the opium war to the Japanese invasion. It's similar to how black people went through slavery. You have to see it from their perspective rather than yours to get a sense of what they went through otherwise it's very easy to offend them. Another reason why the Chinese Government's say always seems overly sensitive has to do with your perception of China which is often times influenced by media. Most media outlets (Most Media outlet "claim they aren't affiliated with governments" but the reality is, most media outlets have politicians governing the entity, an example is FOX [Conservative, Republican], CNN [Democratic], the same problem exist on the international level All western media such as BBC, CBC, and DW are "Pro-U.S." while networks such as RT, CNA, and TRT are "Pro-China") which sides with the U.S. never says any positive about China and hence why your views of China isn't positive either. That's why it's very important to see it from all perspectives.
From my perspective, every country works in the favor of their own people first. That's why I'm not too critical when it comes to their actions. For example, people might not like the United States' Sanctions on other countries, it might not be the right avenue to take but we only did it for the sake of American interest or why North Korea will not ditch their nuclear bombs, it's because it's their only defense from U.S. invasion (Libya's Ghadafi, gave up their nuclear program and what happened? we still invaded them. Now that area has extreme instability is a huge breeding ground for ISIS and similar rebel groups).
