i don't relate to people of the same ethnicity of me, and U ?

So i know that this thread might trigger some people, and i can already feel some people will rush in this thread and tell me things like " no it should be this, you shouldn't think this..."

but honestly i rarely see people talking about this in real life, or even in articles

so i'm writing this hoping that other people might also feel the same

So to give a little background i'm metis from a black dad , and a white arabic mom, so my family are mostly muslim ( Yeah, i really won the lottery for racism )

and i just don't relatee to my family mentality neither other people of my ethnicity

for example i'm metis, and i saw a lot of people talking about the racism they face because of their skin color, and i truly understand that racism is disgusting

but how can i say this, i don't "relate" to their anecdote about racism, i understand them, i understand their feeling and i totally relate to how they feel

but like i feel i can not really take part to their discussion when they talk about this subject, just because i never faced racism

i never got pulled over by police because of my skin color

i never got any remark about it etc....

so i feel like even if we share a lot of things in common, we have a great discussion, their discussion about this subject are always the most heated, and the longest, and i always feel kinda left apart from them because i don't feel relevant to taking part in this discussion

and My mom grew up in algeria, so she's very focus on religion and my younger brother too

so they love to go in algeria because all the rest of my family live there, because they feel at home because people have the same "life" than them

and My mom is always telling me how she wants to go to algeria this summer, and my brother is going too and asking me if i'm going to come with them too because it's been years since i went here

and i always answer with a very unclear answer like " hmm, maybe i don't know with job etc..." and i always tell her the same thing every year

but how do you say to your parents that even if you like your family, you don't want to go there because you feel like you're getting choked when you're here

because you don't feel free to dress like you want because people are very conservative there

you don't feel at ease being surrounded by your family, because your always afraid to do a bad move and they judge you in silence or that they see your tatoos and you have to answer all their judgment and questions

or how you don't want to go too because like with most arabic people, you don't have a lot of things in common with your family there, so you doesn't really have anything to talk about with them besides "hello, how are you"

and i'm not trying to generalize every arabic people, i get along with some of them

but a lot of arabic people i know, have grow in muslim family, with very conservative point of view from their parents and because of this they kinda have the same speech and opinions than their parents

and as an arabic person too who grew up in a muslim family too, my mom never liked forced me to pray, learn the language etc..

and even if i grew up with my parents pushing down my throat some very conservative opinions

most of my friends were "occidental" people who didn't have the same view of life, so it quickly change my view on things and i start to more question my parents and most arabic people point of view

so most of thee time i can't make friends with otheer arabic people just because i know that our opinions about LGBTQ+ rights will clash and i have some lgbtq friends so hearing some of them, trashtalk the gay community just make me mad

i also hate how some of them even if they grew up in this country are always criticize every little things and always go "in algeria it's better because...."

Like i truly don't relate to people from the same ethnicity from me, and tbh even if i'm proud of the person i am and i stand for my opinion and the values i have

i must admit that sometimes, i also want to feel this feeling of belonging to a "tribe", like when i see my brother or my mom making friends with other arabic person and act like they know for years just because they are arabic and can understand each other perfectly

and i just want to precise that it's just my opinion, and my feelings

and i'm sorry if some of the things came out as rude or else, i tried to explain myself the best, but even if i tried english is not my mother language so i bet my thoughts would not come out as well than i would

and i respect every opinion even if you disagree with me or agree, i just wanted to share my feelings because i never see people talking about this, and i really hope i'm not the only perso who feel this way

And i'm really sorry, i didn't expect it to be this long

but i hope it don't flop, and some people will take the time to read everything

so we can discuss it and have an interessting talk

Quote from ellenote

It's okay not to feel like you fit in with your ethnicity, and yeah, it is hard feeling like you don't connect with your culture, hell, I want to connect with my Indian culture so bad, but it's just not me...it doesn't feel 'normal' because I wasn't raised to be connected to my culture, black or Indian, but it doesn't make you any less of what you are, there's no shame in that. That's just my 2 cents, I don't get why people put pressure on others to be connected or to relate to their culture, not everyone is defined by where they are from, or where their parents are from. Sometimes you just are who you are, and that's okay too.

Quote from Lulu_Key

I also disagree with the idea that the culture/religion/ethnicity that you are born into should be the most important part of everyone's identity. This is probably seen as a problematic opinion by most people online.

I rather be my own person than just blend into mentality of community I had no say in being part of

that's really nice to see people who also feel the same thing

and i agree that trying to be identify by our ethnicity/culture or religion is so dumb

and i'm glad i passed this times where i was doing everything i can to try to fit in with people of my ethnicity and not being able to find true finds to who i can identify to

and I'm actually so proud of the person i turn out to be, because getting away of the mindset that people from my ethnicity have, helped me to meet so many people from different background, to not be afraid of trying new things and see new places

but i can't deny that i also sometimes would love to know what it feels to have people from your ethnicity to who you relate and can feel close

Quote from Sashimifreak

You are a real ass bitch for posting this thread.

i don't know if you said this to be mean or nice

Quote from Sashimifreak

This is the highest of compliments

Oh well, thank you