My extended family are all crusty, alot more religious and alot more conservative.
My mom and dad are alot more sane than their siblings, like alot more
Being around them makes me feel icky
Are you guys close to your extended family? aunts, uncles , cousines?
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Yes, my grand parents on both sides were all about family so we always gather for holidays at someone's house. There are obviously cousins I don't like but they are mostly my second or third cousins. I am close with most of my first cousins. Maybe a couple I don't like but we are still cordial and do the required socializing when we meet.
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Yes, my grand parents on both sides were all about family so we always gather for holidays at someone's house. There are obviously cousins I don't like but they are mostly my second or third cousins. I am close with most of my first cousins. Maybe a couple I don't like but we are still cordial and do the required socializing when we meet.
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Just my aunt (mom's sister). The rest of my family on my mom's side is fairly distant. They're all pretty selfish and basically shunned my mom and aunt from the time they were kids. It's only gotten worse as adults. I don't know anyone on my dad's side of the family.
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Just my aunt (mom's sister). The rest of my family on my mom's side is fairly distant. They're all pretty selfish and basically shunned my mom and aunt from the time they were kids. It's only gotten worse as adults. I don't know anyone on my dad's side of the family.
Any particular reason for the shunning?
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Any particular reason for the shunning?
My mom's family grew up super poor while the rest were more well off. After my great grandma died the family basically splintered because her sons ignored her wishes and sold off all her land and kept the money for themselves.
When my mom died, cousins who literally live in the same town as we did at the time didn't even bother to come to her funeral or send condolences.
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yes, im very close to my cousins on both sides. my dad has a lot of siblings who all live in the same area as my family so its easy for us. same with my mom.
but sometimes i get tired of seeing them, because some of them are lowkey toxic
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Mainly to the cousins and few aunts and uncles. My parents and their relations grew up in poor families in their counties so some of their main missions in life was to work in richer countries and send money home. My dad was one of them. However after I was born he started slowing down payments so he could save for us, this pissed off my family who felt he was greedy. Similar thing with my mums side but they expected my dad to pay her family since he was working.
That caused tensions and some family turned their backs on us. Other family members who managed to move abroad also did similar things like my dad despite being the ones to shit on my dad for being greedy and leeching off him years before.
The only ones we still talk to are the ones that live in uk as well. The cousins have no care for family feuds of elders so we’re all cool with each other ouside any personal matters.
To show how bad my extended family is when I was having my 10th birthday one of my uncles wanted to give me a gift, both as just a gift and a peace offering. The day after I receive a package and it’s a doll Which was weird since im a boy. So my dad calls up his brother to see why the weird gift and it’s soon clear. For some reason he asked a family friend what gender I was but because he didn’t specify me our friend assumed he was asking about the newest baby, my youngest sister (of 5 kids) was 4 at the time. My uncle saw and held me as a baby 10 years ago, there was no logical way I was the newest baby or a girl.
My uncle held such a grudge against my dad he erased me out of his mind all those years and didn’t once bother to check up how we were doing for 10 years. He knew I was the reason why the money stopped flowing so in a sense he blamed me for not receiving money from my dad anymore. After my dad found out about the reason for gift they had a massive argument, returned the doll and totally broke off all communication, I’ve never seen or spoken to my uncle and his family to this day.
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I like my family since they are all nice people
they treat me well and have always been there for my family
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I feel you guys - my extended family is the stuff of melodramatic drama too. I cut them all - both sides - out of my life due to their toxic-ness and them being money obsessed to the point where they would hurt each other over it. My father is the eldest of 7 and my mom is the 4th of 12. So the family is HUGE - I cut them all out. If we pass each other on the street, they wouldn't recognize me because I've declined to join any family events for the past 16 years. They fought over grandparent's inheritance and didn't even tell us about the passing until they took everything (we didn't live in our home country then). We don't care about the money but we missed the funeral and our chance to say goodbye etc. Some aunties will still drop by and ask my mom for money every once in a while.
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Currently i live wtih my mother, father and brother to help them out
i'm close to a few on my mother's side but we moved around so much due to the military that i didn't really grow up near family so i'm not very close with that many
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Mainly to the cousins and few aunts and uncles. My parents and their relations grew up in poor families in their counties so some of their main missions in life was to work in richer countries and send money home. My dad was one of them. However after I was born he started slowing down payments so he could save for us, this pissed off my family who felt he was greedy. Similar thing with my mums side but they expected my dad to pay her family since he was working.
That caused tensions and some family turned their backs on us. Other family members who managed to move abroad also did similar things like my dad despite being the ones to shit on my dad for being greedy and leeching off him years before.
The only ones we still talk to are the ones that live in uk as well. The cousins have no care for family feuds of elders so we’re all cool with each other ouside any personal matters.
To show how bad my extended family is when I was having my 10th birthday one of my uncles wanted to give me a gift, both as just a gift and a peace offering. The day after I receive a package and it’s a doll Which was weird since im a boy. So my dad calls up his brother to see why the weird gift and it’s soon clear. For some reason he asked a family friend what gender I was but because he didn’t specify me our friend assumed he was asking about the newest baby, my youngest sister (of 5 kids) was 4 at the time. My uncle saw and held me as a baby 10 years ago, there was no logical way I was the newest baby or a girl.
My uncle held such a grudge against my dad he erased me out of his mind all those years and didn’t once bother to check up how we were doing for 10 years. He knew I was the reason why the money stopped flowing so in a sense he blamed me for not receiving money from my dad anymore. After my dad found out about the reason for gift they had a massive argument, returned the doll and totally broke off all communication, I’ve never seen or spoken to my uncle and his family to this day.
My mom's sister have alot of expectation from her bc she was the only one with career
Its kinda funny, they put her down for not being a traditional stay at home woman, but expect her to help bc of her job
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I feel you guys - my extended family is the stuff of melodramatic drama too. I cut them all - both sides - out of my life due to their toxic-ness and them being money obsessed to the point where they would hurt each other over it. My father is the eldest of 7 and my mom is the 4th of 12. So the family is HUGE - I cut them all out. If we pass each other on the street, they wouldn't recognize me because I've declined to join any family events for the past 16 years. They fought over grandparent's inheritance and didn't even tell us about the passing until they took everything (we didn't live in our home country then). We don't care about the money but we missed the funeral and our chance to say goodbye etc. Some aunties will still drop by and ask my mom for money every once in a while.
sike
It sounds like people who live in the west, all experience similar stuff from their family back home
this all sounded abit familiar
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That’s what basically happened to one of aunts. She’s the eldest of my mums side so she would be made to do the manual labour tasks at home like cooking cutting cleaning etc. Basically typical jobs girls were made to do. She wasn’t allowed to go to school either as it wasn’t a girls role to get an education.
She was married off to a decently well off man back home (would still be considered poor by richer counties standards) and one of the first things he did for her was to get her a job so they’d have double income. Her family was ballistic, if she could get a job so easily then why didn’t she earn money while she lived with them? To make up for it she should send money them. She complied. So a girl who was prevented from school and work is being guilt tripped because she got a job now. My aunt knew what is like to live like this so she never held a grudge against my mum (2nd oldest sister) or us unlike some of the younger members of their family like their brothers, those guys are trash. Aunt still keeps in contact with us but barely talks to family back home.
My mum is basically an outcast because she didn’t send much money home when she was married off because my dad simply couldn’t take care of 3 families (his, hers and me).
It’s sad how sometimes severe poverty can affect peoples lives. Had they not been so poor mum and aunt could’ve possibly gone to school and gotten a job or land a richer husband so they could’ve looked after their family better. But still that shouldn’t excuse treating others like crap for things outside their control.
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