Is it wrong to expect emotional support/availability from your bf/gf?

should we really not expect them to be a support system that you can seek when you need that emotional availability or do they not owe us that? Just curious.

Quote from FeLiNa

it's not wrong to expect that. that's part of what being a significant other is. my current bf is not able to do this which is probably why i'm gonna leave him soon. there's a certain level of expectation that comes with dating someone and sharing that level of intimacy with someone, yk? you're supposed to support them as much as they support you, and vice versa. if there's an imbalance, the relationship will ultimately fail. either that or one or both people will be very unhappy.

I hope you find someone who's really there for you ❤

Quote from MY-Kwangya

No it is not. My wonderful partner of 21 years has been a tremendous support (and sometimes my only support) for my mental health and if it wasn't for him, I don't know where I'd be today. He is unwavering even though I have been quite vexing at times. He doesn't have to do it but as I've no one else other than our daughter he does and I'm grateful.

You are super lucky to have him and he, for having you.

Quote from CranMelon

That's been a requirement for me. My current boyfriend is very supportive. I had an ex tell me "Stop crying. You're getting hysterical." I've cried plenty of times in front of my boyfriend because it's what happens when I'm very stressed.

I have seen people say "Not everyone can handle emotions" and how because of that you shouldn't always ask that of a partner. People SHOULD be working on themselves to be emotionally there for their partner. What are they going to do when there are hardships and their partner's emotions aren't "ideal"?

A person should be able to share their emotions with their partner and be comfortable. It's one thing if the partner who needs support is too reliant, but simply sharing emotions and seeking support is very important in a relationship.

You dodged a bullet with that ex. I am happy you found someone who sees your worth.

Quote from FeLiNa

it's not wrong to expect that. that's part of what being a significant other is. my current bf is not able to do this which is probably why i'm gonna leave him soon. there's a certain level of expectation that comes with dating someone and sharing that level of intimacy with someone, yk? you're supposed to support them as much as they support you, and vice versa. if there's an imbalance, the relationship will ultimately fail. either that or one or both people will be very unhappy.

Quote from ISaidISaid

It is mandatory for me. I expect my significant other to always be on my team and support me.

Quote from russianvelvet

Absolutely

Quote from MY-Kwangya

No it is not. My wonderful partner of 21 years has been a tremendous support (and sometimes my only support) for my mental health and if it wasn't for him, I don't know where I'd be today. He is unwavering even though I have been quite vexing at times. He doesn't have to do it but as I've no one else other than our daughter he does and I'm grateful.

Quote from autumnleaf_soshi

I mean even friends can give emotional support so obviously a bf/gf should be able to do that

if not then what's the point of calling them bf/gf?

Quote from lita-a

no, they should be someone you can seek comfort when no one else is there for you

Quote from emme-105

what's the point of being in a relationship if he can't support you?

Quote from pinksz

Yes, of course we must respect their time if they are not also in a good place we must respect each other

but in general i do believe its a 100/100 thing we both gonna be there for each other when we can help

I think its just part of a relationship no?

my boyfriend better be supporting me because I am sure will be supporting him

Quote from Minkah

Sometimes life sucks and if you can't even count on your partner to offer emotional support, what's going to happen if you have a serious accident, unexpectedly lose your job, or there's a family crisis?

I consider it a bad sign. It just doesn't bode well, and when you're planning a future together, you need to feel reasonably sure, that your partner isn't going to just bail on you the moment something bad happens.

Quote from Turnberry00

I’ve never been in a serious relationship (healthy) where partners didn’t emotionally invest in each other creating a oneness among the two individuals. The truth about this kind of relationship is that it doesn’t feel like a duty or a burden to be there for your partner, rather it is a joy to sacrifice your own needs for them when they are hurting. If you care about the other person you are going to want to comfort them.

Quote from CranMelon

That's been a requirement for me. My current boyfriend is very supportive. I had an ex tell me "Stop crying. You're getting hysterical." I've cried plenty of times in front of my boyfriend because it's what happens when I'm very stressed.

I have seen people say "Not everyone can handle emotions" and how because of that you shouldn't always ask that of a partner. People SHOULD be working on themselves to be emotionally there for their partner. What are they going to do when there are hardships and their partner's emotions aren't "ideal"?

A person should be able to share their emotions with their partner and be comfortable. It's one thing if the partner who needs support is too reliant, but simply sharing emotions and seeking support is very important in a relationship.

Quote from Kairina

no it's not they are ur s.o after all

Thanks everyone for replying and giving your 2 cents . I really needed it. Currently going through some personal conflicts regarding such matters and I didn't want to feel alone in my stance.