Do You Guys Think I Am In A Toxic Friend Circle?

So, I have been feeling I am in a toxic friend circle. I am in a group of friends and we have almost all are main(english, math, history, science) classes together.

And we eat lunch together. It is made of five including me. So let me describe my situation. Lets call my friends A, B, C, and D(I know, super creative).

So in history, my teacher loves to pair us up(she basically tells us to pick a partner). Most of the time A and D go together and B and C go together(so they are basically seperated).

While I don't really go to a specfic place. So this one time D and C were together. And I went up to them and asked if I could join.

I told them that our teacher had told me I could join a group of two since I didn't have a partner. D said that I could join and she looked fine with it.

Meanwhile C told me to ask our teacher again and D said that it was ok and I should join them. So I did, throughout the whole thing C was ignoring me and looked irritated.

Another experience is during lunch, I always sit in the same spot and I am kind of isolated from the whole group(the table is kind of split but joined.

I sit on one half of the split while the rest of them sit on the other half).

I decided to sit in the spot where D sat in. D was fine with it but C told me to go back to my normal seat because she wanted to sit across D.

D told C no and that I should sit where I was. C insisted again that I should move so I did.

Now lets move onto A and B. A has been nice to me, similiair to D. We would spent Physical education together and talk about things such as my obsessive parents and other stuff.

And about B. Lets talk about some moments with her.

I started noticing this recently. Whenever I tried to join in the conversation(sometimes already in the convo and giving reactions) during lunch and stuff she would give me a "look".

One time she rolled her eyes and said and I quote "(My name) do you even know what we are talking about?"

This "do you even know what we are talking about?" has happened 3 times this month(last time was yesterday).

I honestly don't know what is going on. I do have some ideas though. This whole thing started recently, in the beginning of the school year they both were pretty nice. Then it all started changing. I think it may be because of this "rumor" going on.

So C has a crush on elevator music boy( one of my friends since 6th grade, also the reason why I call him elevator music boy is because he likes elevator music for some reason).

So this girl(not part of my friend circle but she knows all of us and him) told me recently there was high chance elevator music boy likes me.

She also told me that she told this to B and C before. The thing is, I don't know about this despite them knowing this around a week before I was told about this. It seems like A and D don't know either.

I know that elevator music boy doesn't like me because he knows that I have a crush on his bestfriend, and I don't think he would go back on his bud(they are pretty good friends).

But B and C don't know that.

Anyway, do you guys think I am in a toxic friend circle??

Also, just tagging

Rainbowlicious cause she is my fav mod and because I know she will have good advice.

Quote from ultraaviolet

YOU ARE!!!!

I SHALL PRAY FOR YOU!!!!

THIS IS WHY I AM HAPPY IM A OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL!!!!!

I'm in middle school

Quote from ultraaviolet

O!!!O!O!O!O!O!!

THIS IS WHY I AM GLAD TO HAVE LEFT MIDDLESCHOOOLLLLL!!!!

Also, either talk to the friend and ask her directly about her issues with you or cut her off

I honestly don't think talking with them will solve the issue. Probably would make it worse. I want to cut them off but the problem is I don't really have strong connections with people in my school other than them. My only hope is to to apply for that fancy math and science academy.

Quote from ellenote

yes you are in a bad friendship. When I was in middle school I had a group of friends just like yours. These girls are unloyal and most likely talk badly about you behind your back. Usually girls like to stay as 4, and for some reason when a 5th girl comes in the mix they all band together to get rid of her. This happened to me.

A new girl came to school, and my friend group started to shun me and one day they came up to me at recess and told me they didnt want to be friends with me anymore because I was an idiot and annoying. I was heartbroken because these girls used to be my closet friends that I could laugh and cry with without feeling shame.

These girls might do this to you. Drop them and don't let them disrespect you anymore. You have to put your foot down. Or else they will continue to mistreat you.

wow, for the first time I feel sorry for you. The only problem is I don't know how to drop them and I don't know where to go after that.

Quote from ellenote

Honestly, it is hard to drop friends you've been friends with forever, because you'll be lonely after the deed is done. After that incident I stupidly trusted them again, but it wasn't the same. We were "friends" again but it didn't feel like it. For the first time I felt like a loner. I ended up dropping them once an incident happened at school regarding a teacher harassing me, the principle had called my "friends" down to the office to ask them about said incident, and they all lied on me. They said it was my fault. The day that happened was the day I had an awakening.

These girls never liked me. They were only friends with me to use me. It hurt. I ended up moving schools after that. I'm not saying something like that will happen to you, but it's unrealistic to just drop them in one day. You have to wait for their true colors to show, maybe confront them about how you feel, so you can see how they really think about you. It will show you that you don't need them.

thanks, I don't think something as dramatic as that will happen but if it does I know what to do.

Quote from ultraaviolet

do try and make some more friends or hang out with other groups. Things like this happen, and friend groups do fall apart. It happened to me too, and it took me some time to make other friends.

generally try to see who is friendly in your grade, and see if you can connect with them. it's not worth trying to salvage a toxic friendship.

well I do have a few friends but they are all in the other team. Even my crush is on the other team!

My luck has always been on the ground. This year has managed to make it even lower.

Quote from Rainbowpop2

To me, it seems like C is jealous of your friendship with her crush and I've been in that situation before.

I think unless A and D show the same patterns as the other two girls, you could consider them at least better friends than the other two.

It's always hard to have good friend groups because there will always be a subunit of people in that group who like each other more than say the other people in the group.

I remember being in a friend group, a threesome even, where all three of us were mutual friends and we all got along and were happy to be with each other but the other two girls had an inseparable bond. They were the best of friends and part of that probably had to do with them living across the street while I live about 10 miles away.

There were times where they would hang out and I would feel sort of left out on how close they were. I wanted to talk to them about it but I just couldn't find the courage to.

It seems like you're sort of in this situation where some people in your friend groups are closer to each other than others and that's pretty natural. It can just be sort of upsetting like it's sort of crazy how rare equal friendship of a friend group is.

I think you should talk to B and C and find out the problem...to me, it seems that they just may not like you. But never put yourself down for that, you should surround yourself with people that are kind and enjoy your presence. If you consider them your friends, then don't be afraid to sit down with them, ask them what's bothering them and why they treat you like that. Because I really feel for you, the way they are treating you is unacceptable. If you don't feel like you can do that maybe it might just be best to stop hanging around them if you EVER feel like they put you down for whatever reason or don't feel like your real friends.

Display More

thanks rainbow, that really helped! (I am not saying it in a sarcastic way btw).

Quote from Rainbowpop2

You're welcome! I'm glad, and I hope everything gets sorted out soon

I hope too.

Quote from briarlee

What the hell Rainbow is a mod? >_> SINCE WHEN?

she became a discord mod a while ago

Quote from ClementineRuby

i told you this seven months ago

HE DOES NOT LIKE ME!!!!!!! I am sure of it. He knows that I like his bestfriend, he will never go back on his bestfriend.