storytime: me sharing wayyyy too personal things on the internet again haha

im gonna talk about my first world problems lol

so i wanted to get the shating star for a while. aka shinee's lightstick. yes, that's what it's called. smtown sold out of them in like a day so i left the amazon link and the shinee world vlive link on my mom's phone as a lil hint since my birthday is coming up. and then a few days later i found her phone sitting on the bed with her messages app open and a screenshot of the lightstick in a text. so i snuck a lil peek and it turns out... she sent it to my aunt because she wanted to create a sculpture based off of it... instead of... buying it... for me...

i tried to be more subtle than just asking or like sending a wishlist because apparently that's selfish and entitled. but my parents aren't too good with like just knowing what i want. but they never ask either. lately they've just been doing food? like they'll take me to some vegan restaurant because i never get to go because it's too expensive/too far away. but then just money as a gift because they don't actually know what to get me. and last year they didn't get me shit because i had already gotten bts tickets, except the pandemic happened and i never got to go?? so i basically skipped my birthday last year... i feel like it should be different this year tho? i mean, sixteen is pretty big right? and i mean, shinee r having a concert + comeback so this would be a nice opportunity to buy the ticket legally and get the lightstick and preorder their album. like first shinee concert, first kpop lightstick, first kpop album would be a dope af gift. if i was a parent i'd have that shit in the bag fr.

remember how i said they're super bad at getting hints? so i just casually brought up that i want to get shinee's concert and you know what my mom said? 'you're not going to any stupid concert until we get our money back from those bts tickets.' and when i was like 'oh i want it, like, as a birthday gift' she was like 'oh.' oh? so yeah, they forgot.

but either way, it's gonna be food again, money, or a phone. cause yeah, i dont have a phone yet. even tho im literally gonna be sixteen and my parents have been yelling at me to get a job immediately after my birthday if i dont want to bother with getting good grades for college. :rolleyes1: like oh rlly dad? how do you expect me to go work at a fcking grocery store for 8 hours without a phone to contact anyone? anyways, i should be happy about that right? but honestly idk. because i know they'll just get me some shitty lg or whatever and i'll be stuck with it for however long. i feel like having a phone and more access to social media will probably be bad for my mental health and it'll just end up being another way for my parents to control me. watch them put tracking apps on it lol. and i'd rather have kpop stuff because shinee actually makes me happy and a phone is just a necessity atp. like it seems privileged, but in my community, like every student around me has had a phone since like 3rd grade. it's not like we live in some rich white neighborhood or something either.

there's one thing i can look forward to. there's this christian club at my school, and the leader of it is friends with my mom. so i go do activities with the club sometimes. and just hang out with her in general. and the other week we went to this boba place and when i told her my birthday was coming up, she offered to take me to chinatown for my birthday to check out this kpop shop. so that's pretty cool! honestly it's rlly nice to have an adult person in my life who cares about me and doesn't place any expectations on me and does nice things for me out of the kindness of her heart.

so uh what y'all think? should i just send my lil birthday list pinterest board to my mom at this point? should i bring up what i want to do for my birthday in a conversation and hope my dad doesn't bring up my grades like usual? should i just let them figure it out and graciously accept whatever happens with a smile? and how did u celebrate your 16th birthday? im curious, especially if it was during the pandemic. did it live up to your expectations?

i regret this so much

i cant decide if it's more embarassing seeing y'all view it and not comment or if it would be more embarassing to have someone comment

Quote from selfmate

i read it fully...

i'm not ready to give you my comment yet since i have to think about it first

i'll find you in the guild or dm you my friend

lmao thanks. i feel like you give good advice.

Quote from dummi

On my 16th birthday my sister got really sick and almost went into a coma, which of course meant no one gave a shit about my birthday (including myself). I think since no major event like that took place that your parents just need to put in more effort, but since they don't want to you have to be honest and have a conversation with them about your happiness and your necessities. To me it seems like they sort of don't understand its importance to you. But if you disagree, then you can do whatever you want, since I could be completely wrong

oh damn i'm sorry that happened. was she alright after that?

Quote from TheLadybug

awww that's nice

lmaooo

if ur mentally prepared to have them say no then just straight up ask them "hey can u get me this"

because they might (?????) say yes :))

i suggest you do, but if you feel like it's just going to make you feel worse then don't lol

i'm celebrating my 16th birthday in like a month and i'm doing approximately nothing lmaomaosmo if someone surprises me by buying me like a $3 gift then my expectations will be exceeded 🗿

lmaooaosdmsoa dw if you need to vent then vent

i have restrained myself from posting my entire life on this site many times

at least oversharing into the void helps you put your thoughts together !!

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Quote from yoshiworldhmm

lol, its okay this could be considered as a form of venting lol, and I gues oversharing is okay as long as you don't reveal your address and stuff like that, from what I read I think that you should just send it? I mean if you want it you could ask, you never know. and about the friends thing you could try to talk to some of your old clasmates? okay I'm bad at giving advice lmaoo, ignore this

thank you. i feel more confident and less embarrassed now lol. i guess i will ask them directly about it. cause fr what could go wrong? really my only worry was that they'd call me entitled for wanting something when i have bad grades and im not putting in my best effort school wise. but rlly that's on them for being shit parents and instilling in me the idea that you have to do something to earn a gift and that bad grades affect your worth as a person. :rolleyes1:

Quote from crystalblues

I am gonna need you to rewind for a second kiddo. They are making a sculpture based off their lightstick????? That is bomb as all heck

i never thought about it like that. my mom's a professional fine artist but she doesn't usually sculpt. she usually just paints. it's just kind of normal for me since i grew up around it. i mean it's pretty dope that she was inspired by shinee's freaking lightstick to create art. i have like so many questions, but then she'd know i snooped so i'll just have to wait to see her make it. but tbh... it would be pretty helpful for the sculpture if she had a physical version to see irl. maybe i could convince her that it's for both our benefit if she buys it. this could work out after all. :D

Quote from blingyblinger

That was my thought like I want a shating star sculpture! Sure it won't light up or anything but it'd still be super neat to have and SHINee won't have in person touring for long enough you can get the real lightstick by then. But if you really want the real thing I'd make a wishlist and give it to them. I'm 23 and still do that (though it's more something the whole family does)

Also wow I thought you were way older like I figured you were probably around my age

admittedly, it's pretty cool. i don't think it's necessarily for me tho cause she might end up selling it i'd ask but idk how to bring it up without it being awkward cause i'd have to be like 'yeah i was looking through your phone....'

i really wanted it for this concert cause i didn't want to have to wait until 2023 when taem comes back from the military. :C

i made a thread a while back asking ppl to guess how many years younger or older than them they thought i was and most people around my age guessed i was like 7/8/9 years older than them. and even older users guessed i was older or around the same age as them. people tend to say i seem older/more mature. it's kind of worrying because im pretty sure that's just a sign of trauma but it's cool to not have age be a barrier in interacting with people.

Quote from superyeah

hopemin

You're young. Birthdays aren't the only special days in your life. You'll find that random, spontaneous days doing things you love are the best and most memorable ones. Younger folks love making one specific day out of the year so special and whatnot, but just wait until you get to a certain age and realize that every single day during your teens was worthwhile as long as you spent it wisely.

Don't overthink it. Just enjoy whatever you get.

Even if you don't get anything, be happy being young, enjoying your interests and hobbies, and knowing that you're living in a time when you don't have to worry about full-time work, full-time college/university, bills, tuition, and debt.

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it's so hard though. i always hear from people that your teen years are supposed to be your best years of your life, but im having a rlly shitty time. and people say that it only gets worse from here. the bar is already so low. what is there to idealize and reminesce on in 10 years rn? but i suppose you're somewhat right. at least i don't have to survive capitalism when im still a dependent of my parents.